AIBU for telling my partner what to wear

[Sharpdressedman]

I’m fully prepared to say I am being unreasonable here. My husband is self employed and sees a lot of customers face to face. We are in a field where suits where the norm but it’s getting more relaxed as time goes on. The thing is he's never been into cloths can’t co ordinate an outfit himself. He has a suit that he will wear occasionally but like today he was just in his office so decided not to which is fine you don’t always have to wear one but green shorts and an orange t shirt isn’t really professional In my opinion. I told him to maybe wear his smart navy chino shorts and a linen type shirt with some nice shoes. He told me to stop telling him what to wear he’s a grown man. We work together and I’m always dressed professionally. He won’t buy himself new clothes so I got him some for his Birthday I got him some chinos and more casual smart shirts so that he didn’t have to wear his suit all the time. most days he will wear some random concoction of outfit like a scraggy old jumper and dirty trainers. We do well as a business and he’s the front runner and claims him wearing what he wants hasn’t effected anything or anyone except me. He loves the clothes I got him and says he feels good wearing them and would never spend that on himself. Im talking m and s type stuff so nothing extravagant. Am I being to hard on him should I just leave him to turn up in what ever he wants I worry first impressions count

He's right. He's a grown man, he doesn't want your "help", and it's his business. Even if his clients would prefer him smarter, it's his decision whether he goes with that or not.

I had strong ideas on what my ex looked good in, and found it hard not to express them, although I realise I had no right to. It did happen both ways though

I’d be pissed off if my husband bought me the clothes he would like me to wear as a birthday present

I took him on holiday too I didn’t just get him clothes. I’ll stop telling him I just feel as it’s both our business we both need to be making a good first impression.

My husband is similar, has never cared about clothes or what he looks like. Will pull any old thing on. We joke that if I didn't buy him clothes he'd have nothing to wear. The other day we worked out he'd only ever bought himself one t shirt in the time we'd been together (that was only because one of his more stylish friends took the piss that we were at a festival and he looked a state). I regularly find him wearing socks and under pants that are hanging on by a thread.

That’s exactly my husband when I met him most his clothes where from family or friends I had to tell him that he really should bin his friends old trainers as the hole in the toe was making them unwearable. I love that he’s great at saving money though it is a bonus. I just wish sometimes he would make an effort with buying clothes or wearing them. Everyone else in our industry wears smart clothes and clients except it to an extent. I’ve stopped telling him what I think would look good this week and it’s been hard not to cringe at some of his choices it’s who he is and it’s not effecting our business as of yet. when I first met him and he kept buying these Amazon shoes every 3 months when the sole came off. I brought him a decent real leather pair for when he started the businesses as a good luck present. They’re good as new now and only need a polish been going strong for 2 years.

I suspect my husband has a secret second wife 😅

The last time I told someone what they are wearing would be when my kids were little . So there you go .

My husband is an appalling dresser. Dresses purely for function. Doesn't give a thought to how things look together. Doesn't buy any clothes of his own. Won't throw things away even when full of holes. I don't tell him what to wear on a daily basis but we sort of collaborate sometimes if he needs to look respectable, like for a wedding or something. He takes a bit of guidance then. Otherwise I just buy him things and he puts them on, often with other random items! It is just who he is. He is really handsome in my view, so he just sort of gets away with looking like a scarecrow.

I don't necessarily tell my husband what to wear, he hates shopping for clothes so I just tend to buy them for him including nicer things for birthdays and Christmas. It has worked well as he now doesn't own anything awful and most things I buy 'go' with other items in his wardrobe so nothing is mismatched.

So you are being controlling but coming up with excuses to get away with it

Nah not going to work

I assume you mean me?
He is an adult with access to his own funds and Internet access so is more than capable of buying his own clothes if he wants to, he just doesn't care and prefers that I do it.

You have to leave him to it I’m afraid.

I don't think you're unreasonable to tell your husband to look the part when he works in your business! I work with my husband too and would be pissed off if he wore what you describe and would hint that perhaps he should change.

And it works both ways. He asked me once not to wear a white faux fur coat to a building site visit. Fair enough.

I think if he is the face of your business and is going out meeting clients looking scruffy then yes you have every right to say something but otherwise what he wears isn't really to do with you and telling him what to wear is quite controlling