I can’t mask anymore I don’t know what to do

[Slippedmask]

I was diagnosed with ASD as a child (they said it was Asperger’s back then)

I have always masked and found it exhausting. It would frequently make me quite unwell with physical exhaustion so I couldn’t work full time etc. I was able to mask though.

I can’t do it anymore. I’ve developed selective mutism in the last 3 years and I can’t mask, I can’t get out of the house some days and I don’t know why I just can’t do it anymore? I feel physically as well as mentally exhausted, I get chronic pain which I think could be psychological plus debilitating hemiplegic migraines caused by stress.

Has this happened to anyone else ? Does the ability to mask return ?? I feel so upset

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Sounds like you have burn out from masking for so long.
you need to find a way to be yourself and comfortable in your own skin - maybe masking a little here and there but not this heavily, you’re making yourself sick and you need to be the real you.
maybe a good place to start is looking into autistic burnout.
also maybe look into some biographies /documentaries featuring autistic people who are coming to understand themselves more - there’s a few around now of people diagnosed late in life (which isn’t the case with you but might be good to hear them talking about their experiences because I’m sure there will be some who also masked).
be kind to yourself and allow yourself to rest and recover in the meantime.
therapy from someone specialising in ASD would be great but probably very expensive