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Original poster

Constant internal dialogue - is this normal?

65 replies

Sadilicious · 13/09/2023 17:13

I have had the day off today, and spent the day clearing the garden, tidying up etc, and realised that as I was working away, I was rehearsing over and over again a conversation/argument I may have with a friend of mine. It went on for hours. So much so that I ended up having to put on audio book to drown it out.

If I don't have anything to go over in my head, I invent other worrying scenarios and start overthinking them too. To the outside world I appear quite cheerful and sociable, but inside I just go over and over interactions ad nauseam.

Is this normal? How do I stop?

OP posts:
HeDoesntWannaBangYouSomebodyHangYou · 13/09/2023 19:59

I can listen to 2 songs in my head at the same time. And switch between the two depending on which one I'd like louder!

Original poster
Sadilicious · 13/09/2023 20:34

Thanks everyone, I feel much more 'normal' now.
A blank mind - well that's the dream.
I find if I'm in a situation where there is a lot of detail and variety - like looking at a beautiful flower border, or walking on the beach looking for shells I'm completely absorbed and in the moment. If there is nothing for me to look at my mind just goes haywire and turns in on itself.
There are constructive times where I just plan things, plant placements, kitchen layout, interior design, alternative lives!
I would really like to just be in the moment.
Meditation could be the way to go @wetpebbles!
Thanks for all of your stories, your husband sounds really zen @fiddlesticksandotherwords
@Miriam101 maybe I do need to do some excercise - I spend too much time in my head, should try to get more in touch with my body.
@BlackForestCake I used to do that when I was a kid! I want to see you on the tv now!
@Wiccan when you say you were diagnosed with rumination, does that mean you were offered treatment of some kind? I guess in a way I find any kind of conflict a bit traumatic, so maybe I act it out so I am prepared.
@Gatekeeper I love your story - am sure that really broke the ice!
@Milomonster I will look out for that film, thank you :)

💐💐 💐

OP posts:
Wiccan · 13/09/2023 21:03

@Sadilicious not offered treatment as such I suppose just given a name for the constant over thinking and obsessions I was experiencing. I did have therapy for a while but I realised this was who I was and learned to embrace and live with it. I practice the craft hence the user name , that helps me stay focused .I am very artistic and creative and have so many hobbies . I find that it helps to stay away from confrontation or conflict , family stuff as i think it's more concentrated for me than it is for others.

Notjustabrunette · 13/09/2023 21:05

Normal for me too. I have a constant conversation with myself.

Goodornot · 13/09/2023 21:05

I do that. I also maladaptive daydream

whoateallthecookies · 13/09/2023 21:15

I also have a constant internal monologue (which can also be a dialogue) but I do have some control - I can actively choose to stop thinking about one thing and think about another, which helps avoid a negative spiral. But it's always there.

hoophoophooray · 13/09/2023 21:19

I do this all the time. And out loud sometimes. My kids are used to me talking to myself now, although my 10yo has rather astutely noted that I do it more when I'm stressed or anxious about something.

catsnore · 13/09/2023 21:27

This is me! Rehearsing conversations, having arguments, working out what I should have said and so on. Talking to people about stuff that happened.

Also lie in bed unable to sleep, completing all pending tasks around the house/garden in my head.

It's bloody annoying but cheaper than therapy and helps me with planning 😂

Original poster
Sadilicious · 13/09/2023 21:45

HeDoesntWannaBangYouSomebodyHangYou · 13/09/2023 19:59

I can listen to 2 songs in my head at the same time. And switch between the two depending on which one I'd like louder!

Wow! That’s really cool. i just tried it - no success at all. Are you a musician?

OP posts:
peebles32 · 13/09/2023 21:47

You need to read 'The untethered soul' by Michael Singer. He talks about a point in his life when he realised that the mental chatter never stopped and he started to explore what it was.

Donotshushme · 13/09/2023 22:04

I do this. I have adhd.

wheresmymojo · 13/09/2023 22:32

Same for me but I tend to think about different topics like AI and existential threat to humanity or whether we're living in a simulation.

I do have ADHD though so go hard on reading, podcasts and such on factual topics of interest more than the average bear I think.

catin8oots · 13/09/2023 22:38

Same. But mine has got really nasty lately

ShutTheDoorBabe · 13/09/2023 22:43

I have an internal monologue but I only hear her when I want to. I can go for ages and realise that I haven't had a single thought. I didn't realise this wasn't the case until I learned that people can actually see images, colourful and detailed images, in their minds.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 13/09/2023 22:48

HeDoesntWannaBangYouSomebodyHangYou · 13/09/2023 19:59

I can listen to 2 songs in my head at the same time. And switch between the two depending on which one I'd like louder!

I do this, plus a few strands of internal monologue. I also mix the songs together like a DJ sometimes - my remixes are great!

ThePoshUns · 13/09/2023 22:48

I annoy myself sometimes.
I find yoga / meditation and doing jigsaws help me zone out

Wednesdaysotherchild · 13/09/2023 22:50

I also have ADHD, hence the multiple running strands of internal thoughts and dialogue plus music!

HiCandles · 13/09/2023 22:52

There has been threads on this before and I was fascinated to realise that not everyone does it. I definitely have constant thoughts going on, also to the point of annoyance where I'll replay conversations or scenarios imagining what I should have said or done. Or I'll plan what I'm going to say and what they'll say and how I'll respond, over and over. Even if I'm listening to an audiobook sometimes I realised I've not heard it for a few minutes because I've been so busy thinking to myself.
The knowledge that others don't have this is crazy! My husband doesn't. It's why he can fall asleep in seconds whilst I'm lying there thinking.

JuvenileEmu · 13/09/2023 22:55

ShutTheDoorBabe · 13/09/2023 22:43

I have an internal monologue but I only hear her when I want to. I can go for ages and realise that I haven't had a single thought. I didn't realise this wasn't the case until I learned that people can actually see images, colourful and detailed images, in their minds.

God, being able to switch it off sounds amazing. To be able to get some peace!

Brrrrrrrrrrrr · 13/09/2023 22:59

I’m exactly the same OP. It’s almost self sabotaging because I can find myself happy and carefree and then my inner voice is like here’s something to fret and worry about. Like you from the outside I’m perfectly normal but inside it’s like a crazy PMQs session.

Querypost · 13/09/2023 23:01

I'm male and my wife is flummoxed by the idea that at times, I can be thinking of nothing. Literally nothing?! She asks. Yes, hunny, nothing!

I also fall asleep in seconds, even after watching YouTube or reading something on my phone in bed, I just think to myself, I'm tired now, turn on airplane mode, phone down, close eyes and boom, I'm asleep!

Don't get me wrong, I do ruminate, I do go over situations where someone has been a dick and think about what I should have said at the time. But, I can just switch it all off and enjoy silence. A lot of the time, I have to actively, knowingly, search for something to think about, things don't tend to just pop up. Sometimes I catch my brain going off to find something to think about when I don't want to, nd I stop it by focusing on my breathing and that brings me back to the silence of the here and now.

SloppyJays · 13/09/2023 23:04

It’s exhausting. My head is so busy and loud.
I have now started blurting things out loud too. Blush my colleagues must be sick of hearing me humming, muttering and randomly talking out loud to myself. I know they think I’m weird.

Indiaorigin · 13/09/2023 23:15

i have this and it is generally not very positive about myself. At times I have a dialogue going on with one side saying “you did x y and z wrong at work you’re useless” then needing to answer “it’s ok you aren’t useless”. I wonder if the negativity is related to depression or just generally my demeanour. (I have a very bad memory so although I know I’ve always had the inner monologue I’m not sure if it used to be more positive.

Youcunnyfunt · 13/09/2023 23:17

DramaAlpaca · 13/09/2023 18:51

Yes, all the time. I call it Busy Brain. It's tiresome.

I’m so tired I read that as Busy Brian. 😴

Blinkingbonkers · 13/09/2023 23:23

I also do this - and very often gesticulate in line with the convo going on in my head….much to the amusement of others around me🙈. I do also quite often deviate from the realistic dialogue to something fantastical too…

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