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Slightly difficult situation regarding friend and money

11 replies

Privatelyliving · 11/09/2023 19:54

We're having a group holiday, eleven of us. Just a few days to do a shared interest activity. A very laid back group, most have been away together before but there are a couple of newcomers this time. Arrangements are very relaxed and easy. Everyone books their own flights, a couple of people will offer to drive to the airport and we'll share the cost of parking. Then someone volunteers to organise an AirBnB.

This time I'm doing the accommodation. Suitable place has been found and all agreed. I've said I have no time this week unless it's done today, but I'm happy if someone else want to do it. Because there are a couple of people in the group without a track record for these things and because it's a lot of money, I've said I need payment before booking. c. £150 each. I've had 9/11 payments, plus mine today, just one left.

The missing one is a man who hasn't travelled with us before but we know well. He's ultra reliable and not tight with his cash - first to offer to buy the coffees etc, thoroughly decent all round but he lives an unconventional life, left school at 14, works as and when as a labourer. He's already booked his flights and the event we're going to. If he's tight for the money I'd lend it to him, I'd treat him if need be, he's done me loads of favours (I'm sure it won't be) but how do I go about offering without offending him?

I wasn't prepared to advance 10 x £150, but £150 isn't the end of the world for me, if it helps someone out and means I can get the booking done.

OP posts:
Bumcake · 11/09/2023 19:57

You don’t need to offer yet. Make the booking, send the confirmation to all and see what he says.

AllllTheQuestions · 11/09/2023 19:58

Can you send a message just to him asking if everything is ok.. then saying it’s just the payment was due today but you’ve gone quiet..

Frenchfancy · 11/09/2023 19:58

Can't you just book it and see if he pays? If you are prepared to lend it anyway then it's easier for you to offer once it's booked.

TheChosenTwo · 11/09/2023 20:00

Just make the booking. If you lose the £150 and he drops out then so be it, explain to the rest of the group and ask them to all chip in an extra £15 if they can.
you can afford the loss (and I’m not saying you should lose out by any means, just that it’s not going to bankrupt you).
You just didn’t want to be lumped with the entire cost and no one paying which is fair enough, I’d be happy to book once I had the majority of the money in.

Privatelyliving · 11/09/2023 20:02

I could just book it but I said I wouldn't until everyone had paid and everyone knows who has paid - they've all put messages in the group.

OP posts:
fruitstick · 11/09/2023 20:03

We went away recently and used an app called Splitwise.

Everyone put in who'd spent what (food, pubs, tickets etc) and the app worked out who owed what.

Took out a lot of the stress of sorting out a spreadsheet etc.

PoseasRadicalActuallyMisogynistic · 11/09/2023 20:03

Remind him in the group chat

Shutuptrevor · 11/09/2023 20:06

“Brilliant, cheers guys, that’s 10/11. Steve can you transfer yours tonight so I can get it booked?”

Snittler · 11/09/2023 20:07

Just pay and don’t chase him. For all everyone else knows he paid and didn’t message, but you’d know as it’s in your bank.

Thewizardbinbag · 11/09/2023 20:11

Just make the booking so you don’t lose the place you’ve all agreed on. You’ve said you really don’t mind paying the one extra just now, so make the booking but don’t post in the group chat that you have.
Send the dude a message just being breezy and saying, “Are you OK with the Airbnb? I’ve gone ahead with the booking so let me know about your share.”

Privatelyliving · 11/09/2023 20:17

Ok, I messaged to say I know he's probably been on a building site all day, but I want to get this done before my week goes to pot. I'll pay it and he can send me the money when he gets a chance. He replied straightaway to say he gets paid on Friday....all good.

OP posts:
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