Really struggling at work - what would be my options if I admit this?

[stuggling5939]

I have worked at my company for 8 years. I love the company and what it stands for, they have been great with flexible working around my child care, good holiday allowance, reasonable pay etc. I have worked in a couple of roles and always had positive feedback. Quite simply I do not want to leave.
However for the last 10 months I have a new manager. I can't explain how crap he is at his job (we have had a high turn over due to this). He lacks any understanding of my role and can not answer basic questions. I think he manages to get away with it due to a niche skill he has and higher management do not want to lose that. It such a long story with so many example but because of him I am massively struggling and for the first time in my life thinking of speaking to the doctor regarding stress and asking for a sick note.
My other option is to go above him/speak to my HR. I used to work in another role which I would happily go back to and I often wish I had never left (although I was fine in the role until current manager). My concern is if I admit how much I am struggling will this just be seen as me not able to do my job. Does anyone here work in HR or have advise?

Have you tried broaching it with him? I‘m a HR Director and I’d be expecting my team to support you to have a conversation about it first. I’m not sure what else you expect HR or his manager to do. 🤷🏻‍♀️

There has been a number of conversations with him. It's always a flat no and his way works best.

go to his manager then. And if you don’t get anywhere consider a grievance.

How big is the company? Can you have a sideways move into another dept? Say you're looking for development/gaining different experience etc,

Can you document the ways in which his management causes problems for you? Can you document how you’ve tried to resolve things but he insists things must be done his - inefficient - way?

If so, go to HR.
If not, start by having another meeting with him.

From now onwards try and get things in writing. Just follow up all meetings with emails/document everything so there’s actually a trail in case you need it.

I would definitely go to HR they are there to support you and at the end of the day you’ve been there a long time. If there’s been other employee churn they may already be aware. If you do just make sure you have lots of clear examples of issues and if you can some potential solutions of what you want.

I would also consider speaking to your boss’s boss casually if you have a relationship with them and can.

Good luck OP

HR 'support' employees in that happy employees generally don't cause issues for management - who they are actually supporting.

You'll likely get a stock "would you like to raise a grievance" from HR. Which is fine and it might be worth considering this if you're almost at the end of your tether. Usually you'd be asked what outcome you want - maybe suggest a team move if poss?

Problem is if there isn't anything like bullying, harassment, discrimination etc. then its likely nothing will be done. Its not unlawful for a manager to be shit. Maybe at a push there could be constructive dismissal but this is so hard to prove.

Sometimes we just have to square off with ourselves that we hate our manager, but they won't get sacked or acted unlawfully, so what choice is left.