Is it normal for 6 year old to still wet themselves?

[Glasssand]

6 year old ds came home today having had two wetting accidents at school. He had one last week. The teaching assistant I spoke to seems to think he must have a problem as he'd asked to go to the toilet about 90 mins before the last accident. At home , I still have to remind him to go as he will never think to go himself. It also seems to me that he doesn't have a very strong bladder as he needs to go fairly frequently. He also isn't dry at night yet. Should I take him to the doctor? His brother rarely had accidents and could always hold on for long periods and was dry at night from age 3 so I'm thinking this isn't normal?

Just to add, he is only just 6.

I'm no expert, but if he still isn't dry at night by aged 6 I'd consider that to be a problem, yes.

Hi - my 6 year old son goes through periods of accidents.
He'll be fine for months then over the period of a week or two he'll have quite a few then back to dry for ages. He's also not dry at night although I think we are heading in the right direction on that (more and more dry nights).

Have you had him checked for a UTI? Just because we took him to the GP during one of these and they were interested and listened to us and ran tests for UTI and diabetes as well (both were clear). I've just accepted these periods now and try to be more vigilant when they start, just keep an eye out for any other UTI symptoms.

I think you need to establish a few things. Did he actually go when he asked to go the toilet for example, or did he go to the bathroom and then get distracted.
how much water is he drinking
does he know he needs to go but doesn’t want to, for example because it interrupts something fun or because the bathrooms are gross, or he is distracted and not paying attention to bodily cues, or can he genuinely not feel that he needs to go. After he goes does he feel like he needs to go again straight away?
I think accidents, if he’s new at school, there’s a lot of change etc isn’t that unusual
but I think an accident 90mins after he had been the toilet, or not being dry at night isn’t completely usual.

Mine was similar at that age. I did take him to the GP who referred him but nothing physical was identified. He grew out of it but to be honest I still think he goes to the toilet more often than most (aged 11).

Is it laziness? My ds was reluctant to go to the loo at break because it meant missing some playtime.

Not usual in my experience but not totally unheard of either. I can’t remember the last time my 6 year old had an accident and I never need to remind them to go to the toilet. Getting him check for a UTI is a great idea just in case. Plus you can then discuss the issue with a GP. He might be a later developer in this area or they may be something to check out.

Check out ERIC, they are an excellent resource (and GPs tend to just refer you to this anyway!):

https://eric.org.uk/

Does DS have a history of constipation, as this can lead to wetting issues (even mild constipation)?

Accidents happen now and then, but that is quite frequent. I also don't really do reminders past the first few months of potty training, unless we're going on a long drive or something. If you've always prompted him to go, could it be that he's never learned to recognise the signs for him self? Maybe that would explain the sudden spike in accidents, now no one at school is telling him when to go.

That's a good idea to rule out a uti. I think he really doesn't feel the urge very strongly and so can happily ignore it until too late. He had a very late night yesterday so tiredness is probably a factor too.

He does seem to rely on being told to go. I never had to do that with his brother but with him then I know he will have an accident so I've got into the habit if reminding. Maybe I need to stop this.

Not unheard of but having two accidents in a close time frame and the constant need for reminding isn’t normal. Have you asked him why it is has happened? Constipation often causes wee accidents so check for it and treat if needed.

I would say he's probably on the cusp of normal vs abnormal.

My 5 yr old had an accident at school last week. I suspect he forgot to ask to go. He also had an accident last night, again he forgot to go before bed (and I forgot to remind him to be honest).

He probably has an accident at night once every 6 weeks or so. And during the day, once a month, usually when he's distracted.

For my son, I don't think it's physical, I think he simply forgets and gets absorbed in what he's doing. I think he'll likely grow out of it.

If you're having concerns, check with the GP, that's what they're there for. It's ok if they say it's nothing to worry about at least you'll have some reassurance.

I'd have a go at not reminding. There'll probably be a spike in accidents but it's better if they happen at home then out or at school. Maybe next weekend you could plan to stay home, in the garden if weather allows and see how he goes. Explain to him you won't be reminding, then let him experience, and hopefully begin to recognise what it feels like to need a wee.

Could it be the new school year/classroom/teacher and all the change I wonder? My 8 year old is quite emotional and exhausted at the moment!

But also contrary to other posters, neither of my kids (boy and girl) were dry at night before 7, DS was 8 before he was out of pull ups at night.

As a pp said, the ERIC website is very good for resources and they also have an advice line (although not manned all the time).

I am in no way medically qualified but have been through similar with my now 9 year old. His situation was worse than your sons, but he is now pretty much better with it (in our case it has taken some time). I could write pages on this, but won't! I'd recommend going to the GP and seeing if you can get a referral to the urology nurse or similar (whatever is in place in your area).

How I would describe it is that it's not 'normal' in the sense it is worth getting some investigation and support, however it is much more common than people realise. The ERIC website should reassure you.

Many kids aren't dry at night at that age....but still worth mentioning that too.

Obviously this is something close to my heart...it may be that you don't need to do any of this and I've jumped the gun completely based on my own experience. However if you're not sure then do get some advice.

Boys take a lot longer to be dry at night. There's a hormone they produce and until that kicks in, they often wet the bed.

If it's at night maybe put him back in pull-ups just for night time and talk to him about why hes back in pull-ups. Maybe try a reward chart where he gets a sticker for not having an accident.

He’s just under a year younger than my son who is the same. We are being referred to a urologist. School nurse team provided some support that helped a bit with daytime - suggested he had a 200ml bottle of water five times a day, drinks it in one go, and then goes to the toilet forty minutes later. This helped a lot with the daytime wetting (although we still have accidents) as it strengthened his bladder and he is more likely to recognise when he needs to go.

We've never tried without nighttime nappies because they've never not been wet in the morning so that hormone doesn't seem to have kicked in yet

This is really interesting about the drinking and bladder strengthening. I don't think ds drinks enough at school . I give him a water bottle but it was full when he got home and I know he doesn't like using the water fountain.

@Glasssand if you tell the school he’s now doing a bladder training programme and needs to drink at set times they can hopefully help. if he could have a full drink forty mins before break, lunch time, and end of day, and then encouraged to use the toilet at those times. You can buy vibrating watches pretty cheap for toilet training on Amazon, you could set the buzzer to go off at the time he needs to drink and the time he needs to use the toilet, then explain to him and teacher/TA that the first buzz is for a drink and second is to use the toilet.

As other posters have said, the most common cause is constipation / fecal loading.

Constipation can present weirdly in children, so you may not know he's constipated.

Usually there's a hard mass of old stool stuck in the rectum or colon which presses on the bladder, compromising its capacity and leading to the child only getting a few seconds warning of the urge to go before wetting him/herself. Newer poo can still move past the old poo that's stuck, so it may not be obvious that the child is constipated.

There is good info on the ERIC website and also on the Movicol Mummies group on Facebook.

You can do a bowel "cleanse" by following the disimpaction guide on the ERIC website.

Occasional wetting fine but anything more than the very odd blue moon issue I would be investigation