Completely decent face to face but

[Privatelyliving]

An absolute horror on line.

This is a man I know. Recently when I see him f2f there appears to be a bit of a spark between us. He's kind, interested, interesting and funny. Can be a bit opinionated, but fun to spar with without it turning nasty.

On line he can pick a fight over anything and nothing.

He's a bit of a flawed character having suffered some trauma in the Army and he has very strong principles. The "fights" are often about what he sees as injustice against someone else or a group, but it can turn nasty quite quickly.

Because of his on line presence, I have generally steered well clear, but something seems to be telling me that should change....should it?

I'd be running in the opposite direction OP!

'Flawed character', fights and turning nasty quickly online. Definite red flag for me. I've mentioned it on MN before but I have binned someone for calling the mother of his child a cunt on Twitter.

What makes you think he might change? I am more inclined to think that these are deep rooted behaviours.

Try bringing up one of those hot topics next time you see him f2f.

I don't think he will "change", if I hadn't seen his on line stuff everything I know about him is good.

Point him towards Mumsnet, he'll be in his element! 😁

I have done, many times. We have a "spirited" debate, but it's never nasty.

I would absolutely do that too. He has a tricky relationship with the mother of his children (now adults) actually, but I've never heard him be nasty about her, only frustrated and sad when it's affected his relationship/time with DC.

"......He's a bit of a flawed character having suffered some trauma in the Army....."

So many flags in what you've written but this one stands out with klaxons screaming all over it. This is almost always complete bollocks sadly.

You don't think what smout soldiers went through in Northern Ireland, for example, would lead to MH issues? I've never met one who doesn't.

'He wasn't like this when we first met but he changed after we moved in together/married". He WAS like this, its who he is, he just keeps it hidden from most. Run OP. Or sit and count the threads on MN where someone has let one across the doorstep. They are very hard to lose later on.

I have absolutely no intention of moving him or anyone else in. 😆

I am sure there are genuinely affected ex-forces men (and women) who struggle in civvy life because of what they've dealt with whilst in service, but the extensive other 'issues' you've highlighted would make me massively doubt the truth of a lot of what this man is saying, and making up some story about trauma whilst in the Army would be a formulaic part of a web of lies that such men construct.

I haven't said his issues are extensive, just that he gets a bit over protective when arguing against injustice on line

Of course not. What we choose to do online is maybe a bit of an exaggerated version of who we are in daily life, but even if someone is lying or playacting their online choices ARE still real life choices, and reveal our truths.

Someone who beats his wife when drunk is guaranteed not always a delight when sober. Me and all the other opinionated posters on MN might not be quite so direct if a friend asks over coffee about her new boyfriend, but I can guarantee we'd be dying to give the advice we're giving you right now. Which is to run run run run run

Why do you think you find yourself piqued by someone so argumentative?
He sounds like a horrible bore who makes his time in the forces his whole personality or using it as an excuse for poor behaviour.

I'd run in the opposite direction.

I've known him about 10 years. The only reason I know he was in the Army is because of an obvious injury and because he roases a lot of money for forces charities. He doesn't talk about it, definitely doesn't use it as an excuse, that's all me. I know several ex servicemen and I've never met one who served in NI who wasn't harmed by it.

I like a man with strong principles he's prepared to stand up for and opinions he's prepared to debate.