6th form students and phones at night

[ToucherGouterPlus]

Hi. 15YO DD has just started Y12. Ever since she finished her GCSEs, we have completely relaxed the 'rules' around bedtimes, the phone being in her room overnight, etc.

Now back at school, she's still spending too long on the phone, etc, and her habits don't seem to have changed much. Like every teenager, she spends countless hours mindlessly browsing and scrolling. It has been a very hot week so we've sort of let it go, plus it's only the first week.

I would be helpful to hear from other parents of 6th formers if they implement any rules around phones. I don't know if I am infantilising her and I should just let her get on with it, or at least leave it for a whole term and see how she gets on? I feel that phone addiction is very real and without a little bit of help, she might struggle.

How is she in terms of tiredness and getting her work done. For me that's the measure at this age, she needs to learn to self regulate but she won't do that if she doesn't have the opportunity.So perhaps have a chat , agree to review how it is going after a period.

No, once they’d done their GCSE’s I left it up to them.
If they came to me and said they were tired or was having trouble sleeping I’d have the chat about phones in bed, and how it’s better to turn it off/read a book/have a constant bedtime.
But the consequences are hers now. Done nag, just educate when she’s open to it.

Okay fair enough. She's 16 by the way, not 15.😀

We had a no questions asked intervention rule which meant if the children felt like they were having trouble putting the phone down we would take it from them but luckily never had that issue.

For us it depended on how they were in the morning, both of mine got themselves up, showered immediately which helps with any remaining tiredness, got breakfast, emptied the dishwasher, put out the bin if scheduled and left the house early to get to college as they always had pre college chats with friends. Their attitude was good so they could dictate their bedtime and their phone use whilst at college.

Also whether any lack of sleep affected their behaviour into the evening. At this stage they are in the learn from the consequences with a discussion, normally what can we do to help you rather than telling them what time to go to bed etc, they need to learn to figure stuff out.

Have the conversation, explain how you know it can be difficult for anyone (adult or teen) to put their phone away and get to sleep when they have a phone in their room but you want to let them learn how to manage this.

Offer to help if they feel they need it but let them know you just want to be supportive of them finding their way.