Life after Mum

[AfterMum]

I've laid paralysed on the sofa all day aimlessly watching YouTube to try and stop my mind from thinking of her. Nothing matters anymore. I can't be bothered to eat, clean or wash. What's the point without Mum. The worst is knowing I am in a world without the unconditional love that she gave me. No-one will ever love me like she did not even my own child.

I can see her in the chapel of rest tomorrow if I want. I don't think I can face seeing her body. It's not her. She's gone. I can't believe it.

Oh I'm so so sorry. Its awful, I went through the same when I was still young, only in my 20s. I went to see my Mum laid out but didn't want to touch her, whatever you feel comfortable with is ok.

I know what you mean about no one loving you the same way, and unfortunately its true. But somehow knowing that someone did love you for so long is what will get you through it. Thats what I've learned, I felt terribly unlucky for a long time but now nearly 20 years on I realised (especially reading some posts on MN) that I was actually very blessed indeed. It just was too short but better short than not experiencing it at all.

Sit around in PJs eating crap for a while if thats what makes you feel better. Its very new, no need to think of the future yet. Just get through this week day by day hour by hour, its all you can do.

I really hope you have people around you who also loved her.

Thank you for your kind words

I'm so sorry for your loss, my Mum died in 2008 and I recall so clearly the vast empty space where Mum had always been behind me.

This pain WILL pass - you certainly won't forget her, but you will learn to live again with the loss.

You might not believe me, but there will come a day when you remember her and smile instead of weeping. That is when the real, true, loving memories come flooding back. This anguish has to be lived through first but there is no short cut sadly.

You'll be OK. Your mum is cheering you on, as her mum did for her.

BTW - that vast empty space behind you where Mum was gets filled gradually by Life, till there is no empty space at all. I promise.

So sorry for you loss. It’s such a huge hole when you lose your mum.
My mum died 4 years ago and it still find it hard sometimes. We were very close for which I am glad.
Its that feeling of unconditional love and that no one is on your side completely any more.
Things will get better in time and your mum would not want you to be miserable for the rest of your life.
It’s okay to feel like you are at the moment and take one day at a time. It will be one step forward and three steps backwards at times.
Be kind to yourself 🌺

I'm so sorry. My mum died nearly 2 years ago & I miss her every day. It's been a milestone birthday party for me today & it wasn't the same without her there. The pain isn't as intense as it was when she first died. I talk to her photo often. You can only take one day at a time. 💐

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing your mum is one of the worst experiences you will go through. If you can, try to go and visit your mum, it's an important step to help your mind accept she is gone.

Today is the 10 year anniversary of my mum's death, I lost her in my twenties. There's no escape from the way you are feeling right now. Try to be kind to yourself and lean on your support systems. Grief counselling can also be very beneficial.

When my mum died, I couldn't fathom how I could even move past the pain of grief of her leaving. She was the best mum, and I continue to deeply miss her. However, the cliche is true, as time passes you grow and change, and the grief grows and changes with you.

While I do struggle with the major milestones, and I'm struggling today, and breakthrough random moments, for the most past while I will always miss her, I now look back with love and affection for who she was and it's with love not pain.