Other parent being ill

[waitingforrain19]

Those of you who are not with their children’s father, what do you do when he is unwell on his contact days?

We have quite a loose arrangement in the sense he can see them extra here and there, although I do the majority of parenting. But he is always, always poorly! Especially on weekends. And every time he is, it’s the worst type of poorliness, never just a cold, he’s ‘worried’ etc.

I'm starting to wonder if it’s depression tbh. But the point is he wants / expects me to pick up the days he can’t do. That’s fine and I always do. Because if I send them to his then they will be on their iPads. Sadly he’s quite lazy with them at the best of times.

But it’s starting to become annoying. And any time I’m ill I get one day to myself maximum, sometimes none. Then they are sent straight back the following morning, which is fine if it works both ways. IMO we just have to suck it up and life goes on right?

Curious to hear others thoughts on this. I do t want to start moaning at him as he always makes me feel unreasonable.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to be a parent btw. He loves them. I wonder if he just doesn’t have any energy to look after them anymore, so is finding ways to ‘get out of it’.

Well I don't have any choice but to have her.
I can't force him to drive over here to get her

Unless of course my mum can pick have on that time

He's lazy and useless. You're not a proper parent until you've had to look after a toddler whilst having the flu or d & v. Anything else is just playing at it. He's not sick, he just doesn't want them.

I would assume it should be no different than parents who live together. They have to just get on with it. But if one parent is truly unwell, like can’t get out of bed with the flu/vomiting bug, I’d expect the other parent to pick up some of the slack in an emergency - but only if it goes both ways!

Someone who is only unwell at the weekends sounds like the are trying to get out of contact or are drinking/partying too hard.

I wouldn't want to send my child into a house with d&v on purpose just to prove a point. I get what you're saying but if OP forces her kids to catch whatever he has then then she will have childcare issues and be stuck with sick kids for the following week or so while they get over it.

He isn’t really a drinker and definitely doesn’t party so it isn’t that. He does for sure have a very weak immune system as he catches everything that goes around! But then he doesn’t do himself any favours by improving he diet and consciously trying to be more healthy so I don’t know. Sometimes feel like he only has himself to blame. I honestly wouldn’t mind if he helped me out too when I’m ill, but whenever I am I spend the whole time hoping it doesn’t last long because I need to be back to best for the kids. Whereas his just goes on and on and on.