Page 12 | What small decision changed the course of your entire life?

Clammyclam · 10/09/2023 22:42

I had been trawling the Ads for jobs ready for leaving Uni.
Nothing was feeling right/ in the right area/ within my qualifications.

I went into Uni one day and a peer started chatting, then said- oh I saw this Ad and I think it'll suit you- I didn't understand how I'd missed the job Ad- but I had.
So I applied for the experience of the interview and with hope and determination but also knew I was newly graduated so wasn't convinced I'd stand a chance of getting past the shortlist.
As soon as I walked in a knew I wanted it-I gave it my all and 20 years later I still work there- I wouldn't want to work anywhere else.
It was a fleeting chat with a peer and I just think what if he hadn't seen the Ad or I hadn't chatted to him that day?

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 10/09/2023 22:54

Age 20 and working in a dead end insurance job in London. Went out to the bank one lunchtime and it started to pour with rain. Ducked into what was then the Daily Mirror building as they had an exhibition on. Turns out it was a nursing careers exhibition. Realised I fancied it having never had any ambition previously about nursing. It hadn’t even entered my head. Signed up pretty much on a whim which lead to a 45 year successful and enjoyable career as a nurse.

Sanitas · 11/09/2023 06:24

RosesAndHellebores · 10/09/2023 13:41

In 1984 I think it was, I had just turned into Hans Crescent by the side of Harrods to finish off some shopping. I also needed some toiletry bits and suddenly rationalised that they would be lighter to carry than what I would buy in Harrods. Therefore I turned heel to cross the Brompton Road to go to Boots on the other side. There was a bang that made the earth shake followed by breaking glass. I recall seeing the people who were killed literally yards ahead of me.

I jumped straight onto a stationery no 30 bus before the traffic stalled.

I missed the Harrods bomb with seconds to spare. I can only believe there was a guardian angel on my shoulder that day.

Now THAT wins the thread for me.

A truly small decision that did indeed change the poster's life utterly and completely.

I shudder to read it.

It wins because the vast majority are how I met my husband dross.
I mean yeah that's really nice an' all but who gives a toss?

Yeah like you do realise that in probability you'd have met someone and certain circumstances would have led to it, right?

Sanitas · 11/09/2023 06:37

justanothermanicmonday1 · 10/09/2023 11:51

Lighthearted.

Mines was just getting out of a relationship, being in my thirties and thinking I'd never ever meet anyone. I'd got used to the fact that I wouldn't likely have children, and be alone. And I was fine with that.

4 weeks after I ended my relationship, my friend asked if I wanted to be set up on a date with her friends friend. I was extremely reluctant.....

3 years later we have a toddler and a newborn and it was the best decision I have ever made in my entire life. I didn't think I would ever be this lucky. He treats me how I deserve to be treated, hands on, funny, respectful, romantic & the best role model for our children!

Intrigued to hear people's stories whilst my newborn sleeps away..... 🥹

OP, it's nice your life has turned out well but truly this is not really what people mean by a small decision that changed their entire life as in all probability you'd have met someone if not your dh.

You must now that if you were to read a newspaper article about this sort of thing, your story would not make the grade as they are about truly insignificant things (like the toiletry post) that avoided some catastrophic event and such.

Now of course you are not writing a piece for a newspaper article, but it really does seem a bit disingenuous and as such annoying to start a thread under the guise of truly life changing moments when all you mean really is 'hey let me tell you about how I met my dh'.

VeloVixen · 11/09/2023 07:12

@sanitas you’re coming across as really rude and a chip on your shoulder. The OP can start a thread on anything she wants. You are not the thread police. People can respond how they want.

Of course meeting a specific person changes the course of your life in multiple ways. It’s very rude of you to describe this as dross. Anyone with a child, that child is 50% of their partner’s DNA……so that child wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t met that partner. Yes, they might have a different child, but parents love their actual children and can’t imagine them not existing. For reasons I won’t bore you with if I wasn’t married to my specific husband it’s very unlikely I’d be doing the career I’m doing so yes, meeting him probably was the most significant event in my life.

you say you don’t give a toss about how someone met their husband. Fair enough, but you could just scroll on rather than being so rude. I mean I could equally say I don’t give a toss how someone I’ve ever met escaped being bombed 🤷‍♀️. (I don’t not give a toss, I’ve found the whole thread interesting)

Sanitas do you have anything interesting to contribute to the thread, did I miss your post about your life changing decision? Possibly I did.

lapsedbookworm · 11/09/2023 07:21

VeloVixen · 11/09/2023 07:12

@sanitas you’re coming across as really rude and a chip on your shoulder. The OP can start a thread on anything she wants. You are not the thread police. People can respond how they want.

Of course meeting a specific person changes the course of your life in multiple ways. It’s very rude of you to describe this as dross. Anyone with a child, that child is 50% of their partner’s DNA……so that child wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t met that partner. Yes, they might have a different child, but parents love their actual children and can’t imagine them not existing. For reasons I won’t bore you with if I wasn’t married to my specific husband it’s very unlikely I’d be doing the career I’m doing so yes, meeting him probably was the most significant event in my life.

you say you don’t give a toss about how someone met their husband. Fair enough, but you could just scroll on rather than being so rude. I mean I could equally say I don’t give a toss how someone I’ve ever met escaped being bombed 🤷‍♀️. (I don’t not give a toss, I’ve found the whole thread interesting)

Sanitas do you have anything interesting to contribute to the thread, did I miss your post about your life changing decision? Possibly I did.

Agreed. I don't understand the people getting pissy with the op. It's a nice thread idea, I've enjoyed all the stories of those little decisions that you don't realise at the time are going to turn out to be big ones.

Sanitas · 11/09/2023 08:03

VeloVixen · 11/09/2023 07:12

@sanitas you’re coming across as really rude and a chip on your shoulder. The OP can start a thread on anything she wants. You are not the thread police. People can respond how they want.

Of course meeting a specific person changes the course of your life in multiple ways. It’s very rude of you to describe this as dross. Anyone with a child, that child is 50% of their partner’s DNA……so that child wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t met that partner. Yes, they might have a different child, but parents love their actual children and can’t imagine them not existing. For reasons I won’t bore you with if I wasn’t married to my specific husband it’s very unlikely I’d be doing the career I’m doing so yes, meeting him probably was the most significant event in my life.

you say you don’t give a toss about how someone met their husband. Fair enough, but you could just scroll on rather than being so rude. I mean I could equally say I don’t give a toss how someone I’ve ever met escaped being bombed 🤷‍♀️. (I don’t not give a toss, I’ve found the whole thread interesting)

Sanitas do you have anything interesting to contribute to the thread, did I miss your post about your life changing decision? Possibly I did.

No I don't have anything to add I won't pretend to, either, because IF a truly trivial decision DID change the course of my life forever it would in that instant be burned in my brain (I don't regard tracing how I got from point a to b as this).

OR I've blocked them out because the sheer randomness of life is too much to consciously bear.

And yes, stealth boast threads under the guise of something deeper i. e. Let's have a meaningful thread do annoy me.

Rummikub · 11/09/2023 08:17

Well I’ve liked the thread 🤷🏽‍♀️

I wouldn’t be here in the U.K. if my dad hadn’t had a chance encounter that made him come here. My whole life would’ve been different if I hadn’t been born here.

becsuse I decided to switch uni after dropping out I wouldn’t have met the father of my children. (In hindsight maybe I wish I hadn’t!)

lapsedbookworm · 11/09/2023 08:59

I don't understand all these bitter people who don't want anyone to talk about happy things

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/09/2023 09:28

@Sanitas - my story was about how I met my husband - and if I had not made the decision I did (to go to the Proms - not an obvious choice, as I was at university in Staffordshire), I wouldn't have the life I do today. There is zero chance I would have met him any other way, and now I wouldn't have three sons, a lovely daughter in law, and a granddaughter.

My life would be very different indeed - so how is that dross?

Sanitas · 11/09/2023 09:46

Yeah I guess dross is a bit harsh, sorry about that but I've explained why most of these don't really make the grade for me.

And it's usually about the decision leading to an incident-negative or positive-that is unlikely to happen ever again, and sorry meeting a man doesn't really cut it. Cause if not him, as Tim Minchin put it, someone else.

For example deciding to wear the more comfortable shoes instead of the nicer ones which hurt your feet which meant you could walk home and as such refused a lift from that charming acquaintance who later turned out to be a serial killer.

That kind of thing.

HarrietJet · 11/09/2023 10:00

Sanitas · 11/09/2023 09:46

Yeah I guess dross is a bit harsh, sorry about that but I've explained why most of these don't really make the grade for me.

And it's usually about the decision leading to an incident-negative or positive-that is unlikely to happen ever again, and sorry meeting a man doesn't really cut it. Cause if not him, as Tim Minchin put it, someone else.

For example deciding to wear the more comfortable shoes instead of the nicer ones which hurt your feet which meant you could walk home and as such refused a lift from that charming acquaintance who later turned out to be a serial killer.

That kind of thing.

What is your issue with people posting things in their lives that make them happy? Whether their journey there was happen chance or written in the stars hardly matters to you, surely?

Stop pissing on everyone's chips, it makes you sound bitter.

TigerRag · 11/09/2023 10:06

Used to post on a forum which shut down many years ago.

Replied to a comment and asked for something. (A song I think) He said he can send it to me but it'll have to be over MSN.

That was 20 years ago and we're still friends. We've met up and he's introduced me to so much, music mostly.

Star0Fire · 11/09/2023 11:13

I was on tinder, had my birthday a month previous and forgot to update my settings to age 26 same as me (I had a weird thing about not dating anyone younger than me 😂) so it was still set to match with people age 25+

I matched with someone, who was shock horror a few months younger than me, instead of binning him off right away I gave him a chance and we are now married with 2 children 😍
We would never have met if I changed my settings right away lol

Original poster

justanothermanicmonday1 · 11/09/2023 12:00

@Sanitas it's not that serious. And that small decision, did in fact change my life. So kindly, leave the thread.

OP posts:

Original poster

justanothermanicmonday1 · 11/09/2023 12:02

VeloVixen · 11/09/2023 07:12

@sanitas you’re coming across as really rude and a chip on your shoulder. The OP can start a thread on anything she wants. You are not the thread police. People can respond how they want.

Of course meeting a specific person changes the course of your life in multiple ways. It’s very rude of you to describe this as dross. Anyone with a child, that child is 50% of their partner’s DNA……so that child wouldn’t exist if they hadn’t met that partner. Yes, they might have a different child, but parents love their actual children and can’t imagine them not existing. For reasons I won’t bore you with if I wasn’t married to my specific husband it’s very unlikely I’d be doing the career I’m doing so yes, meeting him probably was the most significant event in my life.

you say you don’t give a toss about how someone met their husband. Fair enough, but you could just scroll on rather than being so rude. I mean I could equally say I don’t give a toss how someone I’ve ever met escaped being bombed 🤷‍♀️. (I don’t not give a toss, I’ve found the whole thread interesting)

Sanitas do you have anything interesting to contribute to the thread, did I miss your post about your life changing decision? Possibly I did.

Thank you for this.

OP posts:

Original poster

justanothermanicmonday1 · 11/09/2023 12:03

@Sanitas if you're that easily irritated, can I suggest a therapist? Or boxing perhaps?

OP posts:

TheDogsMother · 11/09/2023 12:15

I had been separated from ExH for about six months and hadn't really been doing much socially. I told myself I must try to get back out there and to start saying yes to invitations. Someone in our wider social group asked me out for a drink so I said yes. 15 years later we're still together and have been married for two 😍

Imnothavingthis · 11/09/2023 14:40

I had an abusive childhood, and by 17 was living in a hostel, with mental health problems, no A levels, self harm, drinking and drugs etc. You wouldn’t think someone like me would get anywhere in life. I had a crystal clear moment after a group therapy session when I broke down in tears in a corridor outside, that this wasn’t going to be the way my story ended, that I wasn’t going to let my life be like this. I got a council flat, eventually got on an Access Course, got into the local uni, graduated with a First, got onto a Civil Service grad scheme, moved to London, met my now-husband, had lots of interesting roles, worked with ministers and CEOs, went on a diplomatic posting overseas, had two lovely children and am now settled in a big detached house in a naice part of the country. All stemming from that moment in the corridor all those years ago.

TheBerry · 11/09/2023 15:41

What the heck are you talking about. This is a light-hearted and positive thread where people can post about small decisions they’ve made that can change their lives. If you feel bitter about it / don’t like it for some reason then it’s not the thread for you and you can just ignore it.

Heb1996 · 11/09/2023 15:44

@justanothermanicmonday1 I was widowed at 20 after only 1 year of marriage and was devastated as you can imagine and spent the next few years concentrating on healing and working for a national newspaper. Had boyfriends from time to time but nothing serious as I thought I’d had my one big love and that was it. Finally I bought my own house at 29 and enjoyed settling in and loving having my own home. Finances were tough however and after a while I began to think about ways to increase my income. So I decided to let out my spare room and as I decided this I almost immediately happened to see an advert in the local paper from a company requesting accommodation for employees. I got in touch and they sent someone round who they thought would be perfect!! Famous last words!! He moved in and never moved out! Been married 34 years now with 2 lovely adult children. Still love him to bits and we laugh together every day. So glad I answered that ad!!

Mamabear48 · 11/09/2023 15:53

I saw my ex (very short 3 month relationship which ended on good terms) on Facebook when I had to much to drink and I added him as a friend thinking nothing of it. I now have 2 kids a house and we are engaged going on 8 years!

SeedyM · 11/09/2023 15:57

Had been childless after 15 years of trying. Read an article in the Guardian, about a woman who had successfully gone to a donor egg clinic in Czechia. Pregnant with twins 4 months later. Completely changed our lives as we had written off the possibility of ever having a family.

toadasoda · 11/09/2023 16:11

Imnothavingthis · 11/09/2023 14:40

I had an abusive childhood, and by 17 was living in a hostel, with mental health problems, no A levels, self harm, drinking and drugs etc. You wouldn’t think someone like me would get anywhere in life. I had a crystal clear moment after a group therapy session when I broke down in tears in a corridor outside, that this wasn’t going to be the way my story ended, that I wasn’t going to let my life be like this. I got a council flat, eventually got on an Access Course, got into the local uni, graduated with a First, got onto a Civil Service grad scheme, moved to London, met my now-husband, had lots of interesting roles, worked with ministers and CEOs, went on a diplomatic posting overseas, had two lovely children and am now settled in a big detached house in a naice part of the country. All stemming from that moment in the corridor all those years ago.

Edited

What an inspirational post!! I don't think it was just that epiphany moment for you, it sounds like you worked your ass off for years and kept your focus going. I hope you give yourself the credit you deserve now! It just goes to show how an abusive childhood can rob a person, you obviously had all that potential in you and it could so easily have slipped by.

widebrimmedhat · 11/09/2023 17:26

Met a woman on my travels and told her my name was a shorter, cooler sounding nickname for what I was usually called. She told me it wasn't, that that name was all hard edges and my role in life was to bring healing, not pain. It started me thinking about who I wanted to be, a journey which eventually resulted in me going into healthcare.