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Original poster

TVs in kids rooms

15 replies

icekandy · 10/09/2023 10:05

Kids are 11 and 8 and they don't have tv's in their rooms.

Their friends have TVs and games consoles in their rooms. Some friends have 3 consoles per family to stop the fighting.

We have a very small room we use as a "snug" that has a TV and the playstation. The kids have come to an arrangement on how they share it. The youngest uses it to only watch TV and play on the switch/tablet at the same time. The eldest uses it for playstation and plays online with his school friends.

The eldest thinks it's unfair as he can't play playstation and the youngest is only using it for the TV. We sometimes let the youngest watch tv in the living room or in our bedroom. We refuse to let him watch youtube on the living room TV but he can watch it in the snug.

It's currently the youngest's turn for the snug and the eldest is on the couch whinging at me and trying to come up with new arrangements so he can get into the snug for the playstation.

I'm swithering whether to get a TV for one of their rooms but I feel its getting ridiculous. I'm fed up with the whole thing tbh.

OP posts:
Carlessly · 10/09/2023 10:19

"DS, if you're too young to understand the concept of sharing, then you're too young to be using the PlayStation."

"If you're bored, I can help. You can do [insert chore]?"

LlynTegid · 10/09/2023 10:23

No is a complete sentence to such a suggestion.

SoftKittyBazinga · 10/09/2023 10:39

My two have TVs in their rooms but neither have ever had an issue sharing when they didn’t and didn’t whinge and moan for them.

TBH it works for us. We still eat together, have family games together etc but as we all want to watch different things most of the time having an option of TV elsewhere works here.

I’d be reluctant to get one for a child off the back of bad behaviour though. Something like that requires trust and a sensible attitude. It should be earned.

Original poster
icekandy · 10/09/2023 10:39

The whining, wheedling, and attempted coercion is wearing thin!

The eldest is constantly trying to push things or move the goalposts. It's very tiring.

I understand he's testing boundaries and I need to ensure I'm instilling no means no into him but bloody hell it's never ending.

He's started manipulating his little brother now and making out things benefit him when it's all for his own end.

He's a good kid and easier to manage than his brother and I know it's all part of him growing up but who can be bothered on a Sunday morning?? 😂

OP posts:
twistyizzy · 10/09/2023 10:43

We don't allow TV in any bedroom (including our own) and I never will allow it. Ipad allowed in bedroom up until 8pm but handed back to us at 8pm but it has a 3 hour limit on it per day anyway.

littleripper · 10/09/2023 10:45

We have 1 TV in the main room and they didn't get consoles until they saved up and bought them. The whole thing is ridiculous. I work with teenagers and a majority are now in and out of sleep all night on consoles, phones and tablets. Its horrendous.

hittingtheshelves · 10/09/2023 10:47

When posters say 'well, mine don't moan' is completely unhelpful (and totally unrealistic!).
Say no and stick to your guns. If they can't share, remove it from them until they say they will. You are in change, not your children.

Original poster
icekandy · 10/09/2023 11:03

We have a TV in our room because it was a spare one and we had nowhere else to put it. Neither me nor my husband uses it although our youngest does on occasion when we want to watch something downstairs.

They bought the console themselves with money they saved up from birthdays/christmas and by selling some of the things they no longer used.

I'm not always consistent with my parenting for various reasons but do try to stick to the boundaries. Some days though I just don't have the energy.

OP posts:
juicelooseabootthishoose · 10/09/2023 11:09

We have one tv downstairs. Kids are free to use this as adults only watch tv once kids are in bed.

There is another one set up in a spare room for use with console.

This seems adequate. In addition one has a phone and the other has an ipad. They have plenty of choice without anything in their rooms.
Neither have even asked and they are both quite a bit older then yours.

I prefer them to be in the family space and not
Shut away and they seem to like this too. Id be reluctant to lose that interaction with them so young.

twistyizzy · 10/09/2023 11:09

@icekandy I get the need for an easy day sometimes but I always feel that I would rather have the battle early on and stick to my guns if it is something I feel strongly about. Access to TV/screens is something I feel strongly about so it is a non-negotiable. Plus I never ever give in to whinging and whining so DD doesn't even really bother now 😄. She knows it will only end up in a sanction for her rather than getting what she wants.
I would personally say to the eldest that he loses all access to console + TV until he can learn to share properly.

LlynTegid · 10/09/2023 11:58

Whining should be met with consequences. Stuck to 100% absolutely no backing down.

Set out your stall now and you will save a load of grief when they are teenagers.

CaramelicedLatte · 10/09/2023 16:09

You seem to be choosing the wrong battles here. The whining is irritating, but so is not being able to play what you want because your sibling is watching TV when they could be doing so on the other TV, but Mum & Dad say they can't watch on that one because... ?

Our DC do have televisions in their bedrooms, but one never uses it. You have the space and resource for them both to be doing what they want without bedroom TVs though, yet you're choosing to make it a conflict for the sake of it.

Of course, you can put your foot down and just say no to your DC - your house/kids/rules, but I don't blame them for being frustrated at the situation.

yoshiblue · 10/09/2023 18:05

My DS is nearly 10, no chance he's having a TV or console in his room. He's built a good evening routine around playing Lego and reading a book so I'll want that to continue as long as possible.

Games consoles in particular are for downstairs in my book.

BudO · 10/09/2023 18:28

Why youtube in the snug but not in the lounge? Surely that would help solve a problem. Would you not consider watching tv in your room? You have enough screens you just need to shuffle people around.

TVs in bedrooms are hard to remove once they have them and once you hit the teen years they will be in their rooms a lot more. We have not allowed phones/TVs in bedrooms but had rules about gaming, attitude and behaviour. Mine are now 20 and 17. Their computers are downstairs still.

Remmy123 · 10/09/2023 21:20

Yes we have tv and x box in bedroom and life is much better no fighting over tv etc

we are sensible with it

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