Erratic but not disorganised ‐anyone else?

[EveSix]

I've recently noticed a weird aspect of my behaviour, and I'm not sure if it's always been like this or if it's a more recent development which I'm only noticing in myself because an aspect of my work is causing me to pay closer attention to young people's behaviour and organisational skills in general.

Basically, I'm all over the place. I always have a lot on and always get it done, but my way of going about it is so erratic. An avid list writer, I rarely just work through the list in a linear fashion, but sort of work it like a game of Tetris with multiple jobs running concurrently, putting things on momentary pause to quickly do something else as it seems to 'fit' ‐I may be passing by, or see a 30 second gap in which I could squeeze in X, before returning to previous tasks. It doesn't feel like purposeful multi-tasking, but more knee-jerk and 'in the moment'. It works fine, but if an outsider saw me, I doubt my thinking would make much sense (although it makes sense to me and feels a bit like a 'flow state').

I don't think it would be much slower if I just did one thing at a time, but at the moment, my brain is just rolling with impulse, free-styling all over any sense of linear continuum. It feels as if, with so much to do all if the time, I've quitly cracked and lost the discipline of ordering in favour of just responding. I've wondered whether it is perimenopausal, but I'm not feeling brain-fogged but pretty dynamic, just chaotic.

Anyone else erratically skating through their lives, multi-tasking the hell out of their days in a really disorderly way? Were you always like it or has it arisen with ageing and responding to being way too busy?

I do the same. It feels chaotic but I feel as long as I am doing something useful at any given time, the order doesn't really matter. Some of it comes from procrastination - jumping to a little 'filler' task to delay something less attractive. But the filler task also needs to get done, so it doesn't really matter.

Yes this is me all over. I know I procastinate but I get things done eventually so just roll with it

This describes my working pattern perfectly. I've often thought despite getting good grades and a degree that I might have ADHD. It presents differently in women so it can be masked by decent school performance. I'm too old to bother with a diagnosis now, I suppose in some ways one might be useful as it would stop my boss from being a complete prick about it. But on the other hand I'm too unhealthy with too many comorbidities for medication to be an option so what's the point.

Yes, Saverage, those little filler tasks fit in everywhere. If my colleagues knew I respond to work WhatsApps on the loo...
I think I do procrastinate a bit, but like you suggest, it's more like prioritising according to preference 😁 ‐quite a few life admin tasks at the moment involve slightly confrontational advocacy, so get put off. But even ''un-loaded' tasks of equal mundaneness get chopped up: it's going to take a moment for the sink to run for the washing up, so I'll start folding the laundry ‐why can't I seem to just take a 20 second breather, run the dish water, wash up and then crack on with the laundry?
It's the need to 'do' every minute I've noticed which surprises me. I don't think I was always like this. Over a decade of fragmented intention-to-action, and interrupted train of thought raising young children may have contributed.

Oldraver, just rolling with it seems to be the way!

Interfactual, someone said ‐in 'jest'‐ to me during a work training that they thought I had ADHD, and it really surprised me for the reasons you describe. Neurodiversity runs strong in our family, so it might be, but I've never considered it. Interesting.

Sounds a lot like my approach and I’m awaiting diagnosis for ADHD and autism.

Yep this is me. An old manager described me as chaotically organised.
I just thought that’s what everyone did!

Rummikub, 'chaotically organised' ‐that's great! That's me all over. Like you, I've never really reflected on whether other people do it differently until recently. People say 'list' and sure, I've got one, it's just that, if you were to track the number of times I engaged with each of the tasks and in what order, back and forth, the list would quickly reveal a massive scribble of re-visits, moving on, starting something else, going back, re-engaging, revisiting a previous task. It's a bit nuts.

"Chaotically organised" is brilliant. I spluttered in recognition! I've always looked at lists of ADHD symptoms and dismissed the possibility as I do actually get stuff done, and don't miss deadlines or important tasks. But the way I do get things done is bonkers - exactly how you describe. With occasional bouts of total hyperfocus in which everything else goes to the dogs. I also have a very neurodiverse family, and the older I get the more I feel my brain is not quite standard issue. I've been successful professionally but never held down what you'd call a conventional job.

Strawberry, may I ask what the first indication was that led you to think along the lines of ADHD and autism? No need to disclose, of course.

I notice that as soon as there is a natural pause or hands‐free moment in whatever I'm currently working on, however brief, my impulse is to do something to fill the gap; waiting for the iron to heat up (literally seconds) ‐quickly order a school cardigan for DD. Filling up the car ‐reschedule after school club. Blowing up a camping mat ‐assemble camping table with hands.

I do find interruption hard to come back from if I'm doing something cerebral; if I'm concentrating on something which requires what to me feels like 'immersion', such as drafting a policy document or a complex risk assessment, and I get interrupted or distracted, it's a massive effort to 'get in the zone' again.

My ex used to complain about how I’d tidy up
or organise my stuff.

I kind of wish id looked into adhd years ago. Now I’m on a wait list.

Yes, that’s exactly how I am, but I have autism and adhd.

I'm fascinated by this.

How are you all with mess?

I'm absolutely fine with some types of mess whereas other kinds drive me potty.
Clothes on the floor? No worries. I'll walk right through them.
Dishes waiting by the sink? I'd climb over a body to get to them! If DP doesn't rinse properly or, God forbid, leaves a speck of grease or similar, I can't stand it.
Ditto sticky surfaces.
But an unkempt garden or a cluttered desk or table top is fine.
Mad for laundry and a clean bathroom, but don't seem to notice dust and find the sound of the hoover really overwhelming.
Bizarre.

Exactly the same with mess! Shoes and bags etc left in the kitchen drive me nuts, the idea of leaving the washing up overnight makes me shudder. In fact the whole downstairs of our house is fairly pristine. Our bedroom is a disaster zone with 3 loads of clean washing piled up on the floor for days on end.

Clothes on the floor? No worries. I'll walk right through them.
Nope. I hate them. They need to be picked up immediately or I will combust.

Dishes waiting by the sink? I'd climb over a body to get to them!
I'm getting better with this (as long as I can't actually see them) but by better I mean that they have to be done within an hour rather than immediately. I could never leave the house (or go to bed) without all the dishes being done though.

Ditto sticky surfaces.
Disgusting. Must be cleaned immediately.

But an unkempt garden or a cluttered desk or table top is fine.
Nope. Gardens must be looked after (unless deliberately wild). Clutter is acceptable IF it is organised piles rather than randomly abandoned.

Mad for laundry and a clean bathroom, but don't seem to notice dust and find the sound of the hoover really overwhelming.
Bathroom is always clean. Laundry always done. All bedding and towels are white and the best quality I can find. I hate dust. If I see anything with dust on, it is cleaned immediately. The clutter above cannot be dusty. Hoover is fine for me (but I can't abide the noise of children, or indeed people really 😂). I just want everyone to be quiet.

Note: I have a confirmed ADHD diagnosis but I think all of the above relates more to my upbringing rather than my ADHD.