Tips for helping me get my sh't together

[Peterpiperpickedapec]

I need some tips to help me get a grip of my life. I have two young children, work full time in quite a high pressured job with a long commute, my house is a state, my body is a state, my marriage is a state. I feel like a lousy mother and wife. I need something to change but I don't know how to get my sh't together or even where to start. I'm guessing small steps are key but struggling to find the motivation to wash my face and brush my teeth right now. At the end of the day I just collapse into bed and then start all over again the next day.

I'm considering getting a fortnightly cleaner but we aren't completely flush with cash at the moment. Any other tips?!

I'm not sure if this is the right suggestion to make but have you thought about changing jobs to something less pressured and closer to home?

Speaking from my own experience of working full time with little ones, I did it for so long before I had to reduce my hours. And I worked from home mostly! Making a shift from 37 to 30 hours made a world of difference.
Though I appreciate, this may not be an option...

What I personally realised though was that I couldn't 'make' more time; there is a finite amount of hours in the day and I was fed up of missing out on important things!

I'm sure you're a great mum and wife (and not lousy at all!) by the way.

Does you husband pull his weight?

A few things that have helped me, beside a partner who does at least 50% of everything.

Meal plan & weekly online shop.

Fortnightly cleaner, she does 2hrs a fortnight at £15 an hour, she just started but I wish I'd got her sooner.

Family wall planner to keep track of everything.

Shared Google docs for things like budgets, Xmas & birthday shopping lists, holiday packing.

Start the day early, get some peace to yourself before the day starts, prepare as much as possible the night before, put laundry on a timer ready to hang in the morning, lunch boxes, uniforms, what you want to wear to work, batch cook at weekends, meal plan, online grocery shopping I do on my commute to work. Do a proper clean once a week and a little job every day as you go to keep on top of things. I give the bathroom a quick tidy after my shower, wipe down the shower and sink and put some bleach in the loo. Mid week I will whizz the hoover around while waiting for dinner to cook. Depends on your circumstances but you certainly need to share the load too if you can.

Thanks all.

It’s my dream to find a fully remote job as I definitely think the long commute and long work hours are contributing to my misery. Problem is I earn almost double what my husband does so I don’t know what we’d do without my income with nursery fees etc. I’ve also worked so hard to get where I am at work and think do I really want to throw that away (Stockholm Syndrome 😂)

My husband isn’t entirely useless, he does the cooking and nursery runs etc (but mainly because I’m out of the house from 7.30am-7pm so he doesn’t have a choice) but our relationship has definitely deteriorated as we both feel under appreciated, knackered and miserable. My youngest daughter is also a terrible sleeper so I’m the one who is up with her at least once a night.

Everything just feels like such a battle right now and I don’t know how to change it. My mind is completely overwhelmed and don’t ever feel relaxed or rested.