New sex survey - what does it suggest?

AInightingale · 2023-09-09T11:06:04+00:00

Read about this today when scrolling through newspapers. [[https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-12495651/The-average-Britons-SEX-LIFE-does-compare.html Revealed: How women are having less sex as they hit their early 50s | Daily Mail Online]] The findings are interesting. It seems to suggest that younger women have more sex than men, it evens out in mid-life (30s-40s), then that older men have far more sex than women. Sorry if this seems prurient, but I wonder how, and where marriage and 'sex work' fit into all this? Are there loads of older men hooked up with younger wives, girlfriends, or paying for it? The findings for the oldest group of men I did find surprising (unless they are fibbing, of course). What does it suggest to you?

forcedtogetheatpumps · 09/09/2023 13:04

Older women may be divorced and not interested in hooking up again or are married to older men who can't have sex anymore due to ill health or low testosterone.

CalistoNoSolo · 09/09/2023 16:45

Are the findings interesting? Alot of it is pretty self evident just from reading the relationships board on here. It does back up the idea that older women who think their husbands are happy in a sexless relationship are fooling themselves though.

Original poster

AInightingale · 09/09/2023 20:05

That's what I thought @CalistoNoSolo. I found it interesting as it seemed to indicate a lot of cheating and possibly buying of sex amongst older men.

OP posts:

lljkk · 09/09/2023 20:18

Why wouldn't they be fibbing...

MoxieFox · 09/09/2023 20:24

One common side effect of menopause is no desire for sex. Average age of menopause is 51. I think the cause of the early 50s dip is due to biology.

I also think that both sexes are likely to lie about frequency of sex due to misogyny and toxic masculinity. Women will lie by reducing their number of sexual encounters and men will lie by increasing their number of sexual encounters.

EBearhug · 09/09/2023 20:40

I'm having more sex at 51 than I've had at any point in my life. But there are always outliers. I have a few friends whose relationships have broken down in the last couple of years, at an age when children are off to uni. And one has been widowed.

Right now, it only really appeals if it's in a pool of cold water, in which case, I'm anyone's.

CalistoNoSolo · 09/09/2023 20:56

MoxieFox · 09/09/2023 20:24

One common side effect of menopause is no desire for sex. Average age of menopause is 51. I think the cause of the early 50s dip is due to biology.

I also think that both sexes are likely to lie about frequency of sex due to misogyny and toxic masculinity. Women will lie by reducing their number of sexual encounters and men will lie by increasing their number of sexual encounters.

I have a strong desire for sex as a 50+ (nearly) menopausal woman. That could be HRT, a relatively new (8yo) relationship or my natural sex drive. I always wonder, on threads like this, whether it's me being an outlier, or its circumstances for the women that state they don't want/need sex. By which I mean, is that a naturally low sex drive, or is it 40 years of crap sex? Is it years of their husband making them feel unattractive? Is it years of not feeling attracted to their husband? There are so many variables, and very little actual research into female sexuality as we age.

SaleOfTwoTitties · 09/09/2023 20:58

I saw it and thought it was a load of bollocks. The figures for the men don't really change. Unless, perhaps all these older men are having sex with each other?

Original poster

AInightingale · 09/09/2023 21:01

I was surprised at the over 75 stat, I must say. Almost as high as for men 25 years younger. Are they cracking out the Viagra or something? The women must be considerably younger. I don't think there are that many gay men to account for the difference.

OP posts:

BigPussyEnergy · 09/09/2023 21:04

CalistoNoSolo · 09/09/2023 20:56

I have a strong desire for sex as a 50+ (nearly) menopausal woman. That could be HRT, a relatively new (8yo) relationship or my natural sex drive. I always wonder, on threads like this, whether it's me being an outlier, or its circumstances for the women that state they don't want/need sex. By which I mean, is that a naturally low sex drive, or is it 40 years of crap sex? Is it years of their husband making them feel unattractive? Is it years of not feeling attracted to their husband? There are so many variables, and very little actual research into female sexuality as we age.

Show quote history

Yes. I had a reasonably active sex life in my 20s, but after kids I thought I wasn’t that bothered about sex. However, when I divorced my XH my sex drive miraculously came back and I spent the next 9 years having loads of great sex with my then DP.

Since being single again at 49 (and on HRT) my sex drive has never been higher, I have a FWB who’s 10 years younger than me, and I’m considering adding another into the mix as the pickings for a relationship are slim to none!

BigPussyEnergy · 09/09/2023 21:05

SaleOfTwoTitties · 09/09/2023 20:58

I saw it and thought it was a load of bollocks. The figures for the men don't really change. Unless, perhaps all these older men are having sex with each other?

😂

CalistoNoSolo · 09/09/2023 21:39

BigPussyEnergy · 09/09/2023 21:04

Yes. I had a reasonably active sex life in my 20s, but after kids I thought I wasn’t that bothered about sex. However, when I divorced my XH my sex drive miraculously came back and I spent the next 9 years having loads of great sex with my then DP.

Since being single again at 49 (and on HRT) my sex drive has never been higher, I have a FWB who’s 10 years younger than me, and I’m considering adding another into the mix as the pickings for a relationship are slim to none!

Show quote history

You definitely should have at least two younger lovers x

MoxieFox · 09/09/2023 21:54

CalistoNoSolo · 09/09/2023 20:56

I have a strong desire for sex as a 50+ (nearly) menopausal woman. That could be HRT, a relatively new (8yo) relationship or my natural sex drive. I always wonder, on threads like this, whether it's me being an outlier, or its circumstances for the women that state they don't want/need sex. By which I mean, is that a naturally low sex drive, or is it 40 years of crap sex? Is it years of their husband making them feel unattractive? Is it years of not feeling attracted to their husband? There are so many variables, and very little actual research into female sexuality as we age.

Show quote history

It’s probably the HRT as low sex drive is one of the peri & menopausal side effects it is meant to resolve.

MoxieFox · 09/09/2023 21:56

BigPussyEnergy · 09/09/2023 21:04

Yes. I had a reasonably active sex life in my 20s, but after kids I thought I wasn’t that bothered about sex. However, when I divorced my XH my sex drive miraculously came back and I spent the next 9 years having loads of great sex with my then DP.

Since being single again at 49 (and on HRT) my sex drive has never been higher, I have a FWB who’s 10 years younger than me, and I’m considering adding another into the mix as the pickings for a relationship are slim to none!

Show quote history

Yes HRT will do that. It’s not really talked about as the focus is on using it for debilitating symptoms, because there is still stigma about women wanting sex.

Bunnyhair · 09/09/2023 22:14

God. I’m not far off 50, perimenopausal, with a young child and ageing parents. It is not what I’d call a sexy time of life. Any time I’m not doing laundry or wiping someone’s bum I’m confronting the inevitability of death.

Hats off to all you carefree midlife shaggers!

EBearhug · 10/09/2023 12:50

It’s probably the HRT as low sex drive is one of the peri & menopausal side effects it is meant to resolve.

It could be. But it might not be - 51 and no HRT to date.