If you have adult children....

[CurlewKate]

....when does a girlfriend/boyfriend become a partner that you expect to be around long term?

2 grown up DSs

Eldest 30 yes permanent partner
Youngest 20 - they say they're engaged but I give it another 12m

DD1 when they moved in together

DD2 within about 6 months, but they won't be able to live together for another 2 years.

Interesting question , my ds had a gf from age 14-21 obviously at age 14 we didn't expect it to last 7 years ! My other son moved in with his gf when he was 19 so I expected that to be long term seeing as he had moved in with her , they are still together 11 years later . If my child was to move in with someone I would expect that to be a serious committed relationship.

I don’t think this is any of my business really.

We go out as a family and the children naturally bring along BF/GF I don’t have a crystal ball but their friends and partners are welcome any time.

Im not sure what you mean by long term? Even short term you should shortly include them?

DS1 25 though can't live together yet. DS 2 24 and moved in together at 25. I sincerely hope these are their life partners as they are lovely women who seem to love my sons.
With eldest there were a few broken hearts. I knew they were not the one but he thought they were.

In my case, when they had a baby within 2 months of meeting her 😭.

Son didn't tell me. It's been 18 months of shit.

Sorry! Why don't you look back on your own relationship for answers? There's no definition. Are you talking about 18 year olds sharing a bed in your home,?

I've always included girlfriends on Christmas cards, gifts, sent them a birthday card if I knew, but that certainly wasn't a key to our door!

It's tricky, isn't it? Dd went through a series of grim relationships, so we were always a bit on eggshells. But she now has a flat and a dog and a lovely partner and I feel I can breathe easy now. Ds had a string of girlfriends, but now he's just started living with his girlfriend but still in a flat share with other people. They seem very happy and solid.
Why am I asking? I don't know, really. I suppose it's about them becoming members of the family. Automatically expecting them both. Alternate Christmases. That sort of thing. I suppose as well-particularly since DD's disastrous experiences -when I can relax about them as much as possible, and assume, as far as you ever can, that they are safe and happy and settled.

In my case when he came to stay for the 4 week lockdown....and is still here (that's outed me as The Klingon is a standing joke within the family and friends and work colleagues).
They're saving for a deposit, but Covid impacted their generation so badly I'm really keen that they have some fun, travel etc as well. I'm hoping they'll be gone by 25 though.