How do YOU not worry about the future/unknown?

[SeekingAnswers12]

Just want to know how you personally deal with times in your life where you don't know what the outcome will be? E.g. awaiting results regarding health, or not knowing how something will turn out in a years time

If you are able to live in the present moment, how did you learn to do that or have you always been that way?

That's amazing @Notsandwiches I wonder sometimes if I'm the same but maybe not quite to the same degree, always achy joints and fatigue. I've been focusing on positive affirmations a lot and just started yoga so hopefully I'll see a similar result, your story gives me hope!

I remind myself that in 100 years time almost no-one will remember me and what I am going through now will be forgotten and I will be long dead. Nobody will care about my current health issues or my distressing court case or my relationship problems.

In 200 years time only the most notable people will be remembered and only for their most notable achievements or misdeeds.

This is both humbling and liberating.

It helps me that I have lived with a mother who was a pathalogical worrier. The number of times I have found her incoherent with panic and grief, having convinced herself that I’ve been murdered / kidnapped / involved / got an incurable illness / been in an accident, etc etc … for honestly no reason whatsoever.

Having witnessed the unnecessary suffering and phenomenal waste of energy, emotion and time caused by worry and anxiety, I make no time or space for it in my life. In fact I have replaced the word and I will only ever express ‘concern’ … never worry (silly perhaps, but it works for me.)

We are 100% definitely going to die. So are our friends. So are our families. And our colleagues. And in 200 years nobody will give a monkey’s jump about us, our work, and quite possibly humanity will have died out anyway. All we have is the time left to us. We don’t know how much there is, or which moment will be our last, but I’m damned if I’m going to spoil and waste precious moments by allowing my imagination to stress me out.

Ha cross post @PencilsInSpace !

I have had Multiple Sclerosis for about 5 years. I went through the trauma for what if/when. About 6 months later I thought sod that a rarely think about it now (even though I've been through many relapses!).

If I can’t control it then I don’t give it any headspace

It's the things you don't worry about that ends up being what gets you. So there is no point in worrying. I worried about arranging childcare for the summer, could I afford unpaid leave, would it be approved. Then my mum suddenly died and I ended up taking the entire summer off on sick leave anyway. Might as well have not wasted my time with all that worrying.

Honestly I just ignore it. If I can't change it it's not for me to worry about. And I say that with many things to worry over. My favourite aunt has been diagnosed with cancer - we are waiting to find out if it's terminal or requires many major surgeries and chemo.

A friend recently decided that she was done with me. I was a drunk dick and in her words 'disgusting' (it wasn't particularly bad but she's going through some stuff).

I've dealt with sibling suicide attempts, parental drug addiction, my father calling me a 'spoiled bitch' for telling his step son that I didn't owe him my earned money to advance his life.

At the end of the day if I can't do anything why worry? It will only fuck my life up. Of course it sometimes twists my guts. But life is good...

I work through it with candlelit yoga, aggressive reformer Pilates, the best fiancé in the world and the fierce and unforgiving love of my sister. I need nothing else.

DH taught me not to invite trouble. If you can do nothing about it - then put it to one side until it needs dealing with . Catastrophizing normally gets you no where - easy to say - harder to do

I am a planner so will want to know whether the outcome is something I can influence. If I can, then I get busy. But if not, I can sort of put it out of my mind until the deadline looms, then might get increasingly edgy 2-3 days before (like my ds' GCSE results).

I am a worrier and come from a long line of world class worriers 😂 I do worry less now though, since I was diagnosed with MS,I take each day as it comes, don’t look too far ahead, just get through the day the best I can. Stress is very bad for my condition.

Worrying about something can’t affect the outcome.
That’s what concerns me the most.
😉😁😁😁

@Watchthedoormat this is really good advice!

Always remember this, 'Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere'.

Wow thank you all for sharing, i've read all the replies and it's been really interesting to see how different people cope. Some great tips/advice on the thread! Thank you all!