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How likely that this is true?

30 replies

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 08:47

Not really any of my business but I am involved on the perifory.

So man, 53 was invited by woman 41 to be plus one at a midweek wedding 5 hours from home, involving 2 nights in a hotel. Both these people are good friends of mine, I know them separately, they know each other through me. He was "chosen" as plus on because frankly at our ages there aren't that many single friends who will take 3 days off work to go to the wedding of someone they don't know.

Anyway, they were just friends, it's all very platonic. It looks like they had a lovely time, she looked beautiful at the wedding, he scrubbed up well too, they did the tourist thing while they were away. She's told me he was a perfect gentleman the whole time.

However, I've also spent a weekend with him on a "platonic" basis. We were away as a group with odd number of m/f and as the only people without partners at home, we shared a room. He was indeed lovely and respectful, but it wasn't strictly platonic!

He and I have put that to bed ages ago and if they are getting together I'd be thrilled for them. However, I know she has had a thing for another man in our group and if she's moved on from that, I'd be quite interested in him 😆 So did they have a perfect coupley weekend on a strictly platonic basis?

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 08/09/2023 08:49

Have you been interested in him all along or has this just sparked a bit of jealousy?

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 08:51

He's (the other man not the wedding one) is a very eligible man who I've just considered off limits because I knew she liked him. I'm not saying he is or will be the love of my life but he's definitely an attractive proposition.

OP posts:
continentallentil · 08/09/2023 08:52

How come you’ve only decided you’re interested in him after they had a weekend away?!

Anyway just ask her - whether they shagged or not, if she’s not interested in anything further you can see if he is

Interested in this thread?

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MyFetch · 08/09/2023 08:53

It sounds as you haven’t ‘put it to bed’ if this is on your mind to the extent that you’ve started an internet thread!

How on earth would we know? You know both people! You and he shared a room when you went away, so unless there were no other rooms, presumably you were open to sex? I’m assuming this time they booked separate rooms, though, of course, this doesn’t mean they didn’t sleep together.

I think I’d be asking why you were so invested.

continentallentil · 08/09/2023 08:54

Oh I see - I thought you were talking about wedding guy.

I don’t think she can hold someone off limits just because she’s interested in them - how come she gets first dibs/what if he isn’t interested in her ??

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 08:54

continentallentil · 08/09/2023 08:52

How come you’ve only decided you’re interested in him after they had a weekend away?!

Anyway just ask her - whether they shagged or not, if she’s not interested in anything further you can see if he is

I'm not interested in the wedding man, been there done that, remained good friends but won't be doing it again.

It's the other man, who may now be "free" if she's moved on. I've always been "interested" but knowing she was too, I considered him off limits.

OP posts:
MyFetch · 08/09/2023 08:54

continentallentil · 08/09/2023 08:54

Oh I see - I thought you were talking about wedding guy.

I don’t think she can hold someone off limits just because she’s interested in them - how come she gets first dibs/what if he isn’t interested in her ??

Yes, this. If you like the other guy, ask him out.

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 08/09/2023 08:56

How come your mate gets first dibs on the non-wedding-guy YOU like? Fuck that. She can make her move if she wants, as can you.

As for the wedding couple, hard to say whether it has been platonic. It would be nice if they had actually fallen head over heels in love 🙂

PicturesOfDogs · 08/09/2023 08:57

So you’re interested in a different man (man B) who you thought she liked?
But think she may have got up to extra curriculars with this other bloke (man A) at a wedding?

Realistically, she could still like man B and shag man A.
If you like man B, feel him out. I wouldn’t consider a man off limits, if someone I knew liked him, unless it was a very close friend.

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 08:58

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 08/09/2023 08:56

How come your mate gets first dibs on the non-wedding-guy YOU like? Fuck that. She can make her move if she wants, as can you.

As for the wedding couple, hard to say whether it has been platonic. It would be nice if they had actually fallen head over heels in love 🙂

Well because they've had a weird kind of flirtship with neither making it happen for ages 😆 And because her friendship is way more important than either of these men.

OP posts:
Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:07

MyFetch · 08/09/2023 08:53

It sounds as you haven’t ‘put it to bed’ if this is on your mind to the extent that you’ve started an internet thread!

How on earth would we know? You know both people! You and he shared a room when you went away, so unless there were no other rooms, presumably you were open to sex? I’m assuming this time they booked separate rooms, though, of course, this doesn’t mean they didn’t sleep together.

I think I’d be asking why you were so invested.

We go away as a group quite frequently. If you have seperate rooms for odd numbers of different sex people the costs go up a lot. Fwiw we didn't have sex but it wasn't platonic. 😆 It was a fun carefree weekend with two people who don't have any ties.

They shared a room for the same reason. I know lots of people will struggle with that, insisting on their own space unless they're with a DP but when you don't have a serious OH you build a different life, it's quite normal for us. In our group I wouldn't share with a married man out of respect for his wife, but I'd share with most of the single ones if needed.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 08/09/2023 09:09

I can't understand who you're talking about! Which man is it you are interested in now?

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:11

determinedtomakethiswork · 08/09/2023 09:09

I can't understand who you're talking about! Which man is it you are interested in now?

I've read the OP back several times and think it's perfectly clear. Obviously it's not 😆

Wedding man is of no interest to me now, was once, but I won't be doing that again.

There's another man wedding woman has been interested in for a long time and I'm wondering if she's moved on now. He's the one.

OP posts:
Fizzadora · 08/09/2023 09:16

Well of course you could ask her!

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:18

Fizzadora · 08/09/2023 09:16

Well of course you could ask her!

I did ask her. It was all platonic and he was a perfect gentleman.... word for word what I told everyone after our weekend away 😆

OP posts:
guzzleandstuff · 08/09/2023 09:27

No don't ask about her wedding weekend!! Ask your friend "Are you interested in X, because I rather fancy him and don't want to take it further if you and he are either in or beginning a relationship" (Or words to that effect)

No need for any of the other stuff which is just confusing.

If she says "Yes, I fancy the pants off him and I think he might feel the same..." - you back off and tell her good luck. Or you say "All's fair in love and war" and up your game!

If she says "No - nothing came of it and I rather fancy Mr Wedding Man now" - then you say "Oh good!" and start your campaign.

minou123 · 08/09/2023 09:34

As I understand it, we have 2 eligible bachelors; Steve and Derek.

You and Steve have knocked boots in the past, But youve been there, done that, got the t-shirt, so to speak.

Your friend has just gone to a wedding with Steve. We are unclear if any hanky panky occurred.

In the meantime, your friend has been flirting with Derek.

You potentially want to flirt with Derek, but you thought he was off limits.

You want to know if it is likely your friend send Steve have more than a platonic friendship, so you can start flirting wuth Derek, is that right?

😁

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:39

minou123 · 08/09/2023 09:34

As I understand it, we have 2 eligible bachelors; Steve and Derek.

You and Steve have knocked boots in the past, But youve been there, done that, got the t-shirt, so to speak.

Your friend has just gone to a wedding with Steve. We are unclear if any hanky panky occurred.

In the meantime, your friend has been flirting with Derek.

You potentially want to flirt with Derek, but you thought he was off limits.

You want to know if it is likely your friend send Steve have more than a platonic friendship, so you can start flirting wuth Derek, is that right?

😁

Yes, thank you!

OP posts:
DrivingCadillacsInOurDreams · 08/09/2023 09:41

So just ask her if she still likes Derek!

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 08/09/2023 09:49

Yep agreed. Ask if she likes Sexy Derek (preferably throw in some trash talk about him) and big up Previously Sexy Steve and boom you're all happy.

Btw your friendship group sounds great!

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:58

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 08/09/2023 09:49

Yep agreed. Ask if she likes Sexy Derek (preferably throw in some trash talk about him) and big up Previously Sexy Steve and boom you're all happy.

Btw your friendship group sounds great!

Yes it really is and has seen me through some very difficult times. Which is why I'm careful not to mess it up.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/09/2023 09:59

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 09:18

I did ask her. It was all platonic and he was a perfect gentleman.... word for word what I told everyone after our weekend away 😆

So, she could well be thinking exactly the same about you as you are now thinking about her 😂😂

Janieforever · 08/09/2023 10:12

Even if she fooled around with wedding guy doesn’t mean she’s not interested in eligible guy.

why not ask her about eligible guy

whats weird though is you don’t say if eligible guy is remotely interested in you.

Parrotcup · 08/09/2023 10:13

Janieforever · 08/09/2023 10:12

Even if she fooled around with wedding guy doesn’t mean she’s not interested in eligible guy.

why not ask her about eligible guy

whats weird though is you don’t say if eligible guy is remotely interested in you.

I've no idea

OP posts:
minou123 · 08/09/2023 10:14

WhatWouldMrMannersSay · 08/09/2023 09:49

Yep agreed. Ask if she likes Sexy Derek (preferably throw in some trash talk about him) and big up Previously Sexy Steve and boom you're all happy.

Btw your friendship group sounds great!

Btw your friendship group sounds great

It does, doesn't it.

I want to be part of your friendship group @Parrotcup .
Sexy Steve and Delicious Derek sound great. 😋