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Please tell me your nursery hating baby now loves it?

13 replies

riffraffroff · 07/09/2023 21:10

Really struggling with my 11mo going to nursery. They've had two settling in sessions and at both I've turned up to collect and DC has been hysterical. Apparently they're "fine" - playing, eating and then it goes downhill after a few hours and no one can console. DC is a boob monster, won't take a bottle and tends to need two short naps. The baby room only do one large nap and although I've sent in milk (which was refused) I was hoping they would just have water and feed before and after.

I know this is probably normal but it's so hard to see DC in such a state, I feel really guilty but I have to go back to work. I wonder if a childminder would be better.

OP posts:
Broodywuz · 07/09/2023 21:20

I could of written your post OP, it was so hard! DD was also boob obsessed and wouldn't take a bottle. She wouldn't sleep at all at nursery so evenings after pick up were absolutely miserable with her being so over tired. Slowly she just learned to deal with it but did cry every drop off for about a year. From around 2.5 i think she started to enjoy nursery and loves it now. Honestly if I knew how long it was going to take her to settle I would of looked into a child minder

DuploTrain · 07/09/2023 21:26

It is incredibly early days. And lots of kids do settle fine.

However my DS is 2.5 and he’s been at nursery for just over a year. He’s not upset and he seems to have an okay time, but we’ve decided to move him to a childminder.

I think that homely environment and developing a bond with one adult and a small group of children will be better for my DS. In the year he’s been at nursery he’s had 4 different key workers and he doesn’t really talk at all there (he talks lots at home).

I do wish we’d considered a childminder from the beginning looking back. Obviously it depends on the childminder - I visited one who I wouldn’t have preferred over nursery, but the one we’ve gone for seems amazing.

DuploTrain · 07/09/2023 21:27

Just to add to my very long post, there’s no harm contacting and visiting a few childminders to get a feel for different settings.

Interested in this thread?

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riffraffroff · 07/09/2023 21:28

Broodywuz · 07/09/2023 21:20

I could of written your post OP, it was so hard! DD was also boob obsessed and wouldn't take a bottle. She wouldn't sleep at all at nursery so evenings after pick up were absolutely miserable with her being so over tired. Slowly she just learned to deal with it but did cry every drop off for about a year. From around 2.5 i think she started to enjoy nursery and loves it now. Honestly if I knew how long it was going to take her to settle I would of looked into a child minder

Oh Christ, a year! I couldn't cope. I'm in tears after today. I just have a gut feeling it's not right for DC.

OP posts:
thecatwiththesilveryfur · 07/09/2023 21:29

Mine was the clingiest child imaginable. She was surgically attached to me for at least the first uear of her life, and when she started nursery she kept getting sent home because she was inconsolable.

She ADORES it now. Scampers in herself, barely bothers to say goodbye!

Dc will be fine, OP. Have faith :)

riffraffroff · 07/09/2023 21:33

DuploTrain · 07/09/2023 21:27

Just to add to my very long post, there’s no harm contacting and visiting a few childminders to get a feel for different settings.

I'm struggling to find many locally. A lot have closed over lockdown, or have very limited space. I might try contacting a few to understand options.

OP posts:
riffraffroff · 08/09/2023 11:29

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 07/09/2023 21:29

Mine was the clingiest child imaginable. She was surgically attached to me for at least the first uear of her life, and when she started nursery she kept getting sent home because she was inconsolable.

She ADORES it now. Scampers in herself, barely bothers to say goodbye!

Dc will be fine, OP. Have faith :)

How long did it take @tthecatwiththesilveryfur

OP posts:
Regenbogen22 · 08/09/2023 11:34

@riffraffroff she's only had 2 sessions so far, of course she's not settled yet. Give her/him time.

I'm not in the UK and here a month is the usual length of a settling in period and even after a month not all little ones are fully settled. It's totally normal.

BarnacleBeasley · 08/09/2023 11:36

Took me weeks of settling in sessions before DS would settle (aged 8-ish months) - we were supposed to do 1 hour together, 1 hour left on his own, 2 hours, then start sending him in for half days. We ended up stuck at the 'leave him for 1 hour' stage with two attempts a week for a couple of months. I had to hang around near the nursery with my phone in my hand as there was no time to go anywhere else. He ignored his milk at nursery too even though he would take a bottle at home. Anyway, he got there in the end and he's now 2 and loves it. Once he started going full time a few months later he also refused 2x naps because he wouldn't sleep unless the other children were, so we just switched his routine at home to match.

Oldermum84 · 08/09/2023 11:37

DS took weeks and weeks to settle in. Then tolerated it. Then loved it and still does! It will be ok x

thecatwiththesilveryfur · 08/09/2023 12:31

riffraffroff · 08/09/2023 11:29

How long did it take @tthecatwiththesilveryfur

Honestly, not long at all. She did a couple of weeks of short hours to get settled, then I went back to work and she started to do full days - perhaps a month, all in? But she genuinely loves it now, and they do all kinds of things with her I could never do.

Alexandra1991 · 08/09/2023 12:38

Our DD started at 14 months, it took a couple of months for her to properly settle in and now at almost 20 months she absolutely loves it.

LuHolyoake · 08/09/2023 13:07

My DD was super clingy and took a few weeks to settle. Then she developed a relationship with one particular member of staff and that really helped. It was still tricky if that member of staff wasn't in for any reason for a few months, then she was happy with whoever, until it was time to change rooms and the process started again!

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