Being managed out after sick leave? Can't sleep

[NameChangedToProtectInnocentSmoothie]

Hi,
I'm worried as details will make this very outing, but I've been off work for 8 weeks after breaking down - basically ill due to stress/burnout from lots of things (purposely vague, sorry!)

Dr agreed going back part time initially, in my case I normally work long hours over two days (about 2/3 of fulltime hours) so this was set at going back one day a week.

Due to the nature of the job I am not trusted to work a full day, and employer has put other conditions on which hours I do. So I'm being put on the timetable for 5 hours over 2 days. I'm gutted that I'm expected to have even less income than sick pay for a few weeks (not sure how long yet). Plus I'm not back the week my sick note runs out, so I miss a week's pay altogether. I can manage this by using savings but it's getting to me. Worse though is that I'm so anxious about everything (hence the time of posting this - woken up and can't sleep!) that it will more difficult to be in two days because I'm going to be sleep deprived from worry, and once is ok but twice much harder. This might sound ott but because of the reasons I have been off work it's actually quite a sensible knowing of myself and awareness not to drive myself over the edge again.

Worse, something important is happening on the week I'm supposed to be back, I can't easily change this, I've already waited forever. If I was working one (full) day as I expected this wouldn't be a problem but I've been put into work at precisely the worst times possible, including a day I'd never normally work (not official, but a colleague always does this particular shift for reasons). This may sound petty but I'm so tired of sacrificing everything else in my life to the alter of this job.

The nature of the job makes some of these things more understandable but I'm finding it so hard to work out what to do.

The other thing is that my absence is being treated as something unprofessional and irresponsible. Also other things I have apparently been doing wrong have come up now so I'm being told I've been unprofessional for months and months even though the other things weren't mentioned before. I'm finding it really hard being made to feel inadequate when I've been ill and trying my best. I sort of wish I'd just got a longer sick note to cover the next couple of weeks (Dr is onboard and aware of some of the unusual aspects of my job situation) but I was trying to get back as soon as I was able as I feel guilty for being off. So finding it hard to be told I'm letting the team down etc by being off when I really am doing my best.

Luckily I have been able to speak to a friend who is also an employer in my field, so get the picture from the other side, but she is even more strongly of the same mindset as me.

Basically a lot is telling me that I can't continue in this job, and my boss doesn't seem to want me to, and seems to be putting difficult conditions on it (knows about thing next week for eg.) This includes that I have a disability that was very much part of why I've ended up off work (but boss seems convinced their idea of why I've been off - a mixture of mental health and being irresponsible - is the right one and is proceeding on that basis, any adjustments that would help me I'm too scared to suggest or boss just cant understand why it would help.)

Even as I'm writing this... I can't do this job, can I? So I wish they would just fire me. I hate feeling like I'm being pushed into a corner like this, forced to resign. If I'm not wanted there they should fire me, not make it impossible to do my job and treat illness as misconduct!

For context - I have autism. Late diagnosed, can do body language etc but need processing time for big things. So even the nature of being put on the spot to agree to things in my back to work meeting was really hard.

I think I need a hand hold. Just, arghhhh.
Thanks for reading.

A handhold from me. Your situation sounds very difficult. I'm sorry.

If you can't work you need to resign they can't keep paying you forever for no or little work

I would look for a new job, it sounds like a horrible environment but it also sounds like you are unable to do the role unsupervised

I would ask for a fit note for a little longer and in the mean time look for another job. Mental health is horrible to deal with, i have bipolar and an anxiety disorder. I’m lucky my employers are fantastic. Allow me to take time off when needed, checking to make sure I’m not over whelmed etc. There are good supportive employers out there!

I'm not asking them to. But if they think I'm not suitable to work there, why not fire me instead of making my job harder so I have to leave?

This is what's so difficult. I assumed I would be returning to my usual role, on half hours (one day) for a few weeks, then back to normal. That's not what's happening, it's different.

It does feel like a horrible atmosphere now, yes. I'm so anxious about it all. The weird thing is it didn't used to be horrible. I loved this job. I actually feel weird as if I joined a cult, thought it was wonderful, and have now realised I was mistaken after the cult leader has decided I'm wavering in my devotion so must double down or be cast out. I know that sounds mad but that's how it feels!

Unfortunately I can't get the sick note for longer, as I attended a back to work meeting. Afterwards I was told I'd be paid for the meeting so it's basically reset the clock on sick note. So this week I have one hour's work recorded.

I am looking for another job but I am shocked it has come to this. I don't understand the punishing attitude, surely either fire me or welcome me back, not this thing of making it so difficult/anxiety ridden that I'm forced to resign. (I've been there less than two years so could fire me easily.)

It's not straightforward mental health that has been the issue. It's autism combined with difficult things going on that mean I was too overwhelmed for too long and burnt out. I've recovered from the burnout but this is now causing me so much anxiety it's draining my energy so much and making me terrified I'm going to accidentally get something wrong.

It would look much better for a new employer if you decided to leave rather than having to say that you were fired

They're doing so much here that's breaking the law! I've been in your shoes, and what they're doing is blatant discrimination. I would suggest speaking to ACAS and doing a bit of research on neurodiversity in the work place, then raising a grievance, going to your manager's manager. If you have a speak up line, you could go that route.

Be very clear of what the discrimination is; bullet point and date each occasion.

List what should have been done to support you back into work - have you been referred to occupational health, as this should have been done whilst you're off sick. List the reasonable adjustments that would support you.

You do have protection here under the Equality Act 2010.

I imagine they will start formal capability proceedings soon. So I'd look for something else. Good luck.

Could you use accrued al to offset some of the reduced hours?

That's a good idea.

@Mabelface

I'm not sure they are breaking the law. The nature of the job means it's probably exempt from loads of that stuff. Or perhaps that's why I'm not being fired? Perhaps legally that would be dodgy so they have to get rid of me by making me leave.

I've been asked about reasonable adjustments but the big things that would make a difference are timetable related so I'm not sure what's reasonable and too intimidated to say in the meeting because I was being treated like a naughty child.

There's an expectation that this job should come absolutely first in life before anything else.

Reasonable adjustments can only be refused if that refusal would stand up in court in front of a judge. I really would urge you to look into your rights here as you have a protected characteristic. I would agree that they're pushing you to resign as they can't sack you. What they're forgetting though is constructive dismissal, if you've had to leave due to discrimination. You'd have to go through the grievance procedure first. Please do speak to ACAS.