Did you have an assisted place in a private school in the 80s and 90s?

[OnTheSofaAllNight]

What was your experience? Would you want the government to bring them back?

I went to a very academic private grammar school thanks to Thatcher's assisted place scheme but I was on free school meals. I had a horrible experience at the school for 7 years mainly because I was always trying to hide my very bleak, poor, family circumstances. The school was very cold towards its pupils and I always felt if you were not middle class, white and straight you had a very difficult time fitting in. I also learnt about unfairness very quickly, how privileged some people are simply because they are born into the right family.

But my education definitely gave me a leg up. I was the first person in my family to do A Levels and go to university. I live a very comfortable existence now and my kids have everything I didn't.

So if you had an assisted place, how do you feel about them now?

I chose not to send my kids down the private route and yes, I'd probably ban private schools in an ideal world. I just wish I could have gone to the local comp with kids from a more diverse range of financial circumstances and gotten a really good education there (but I know private schools give you a leg up even if you don't get stellar exam results).

I had a place at a private so-called selective RC school because there wasn’t a grammar school for catholic girls in my borough.

The teaching was fairly rigorous and I did well but a lot in the Catholic school weren’t that academic, tbh. A lot were there for religious reasons and the selection process wasn’t too exacting. Some left with only a handful of O Levels. Others went to top universities, in the early 1980s, when not many did. So it was almost comprehensive really.

I didn't but my older brothers did.

I know the younger of the 2 got very anxious initially about the academic side. I remember him having crippling stomach pains. IIRC he was taken to a&e a couple of times as my parents thought it might be appendicitis, but anything physical was ruled out and it was put down as psychosomatic and he was under CAMHS for a while for therapy (the other brother said meds as well but I'm not sure about that. He was always very intelligent and there was nothing wrong with his work.

The school was extremely strict. It was an RC school and at the time corporal punishment was still allowed at least when they started and the Brothers (ie the religious Brothers who ran the school, not mine!) weren't scared to use it, though I dont think my brothers did as they were always well behaved. However years later it came out that as well as physical abuse there was a lot of sexual abuse. My brothers always denied this had happened to them but I think because of whispers going round believe 100% it happened to others.

Academically they achieved fantastic results, both went to redbrick universities (one Durham, one Oxford) at a time when not many working class kids did.

By the time me and my sister were due to start secondary school, it had been stopped so we went to the local (RC) comprehensive. My mum in particular was gutted we weren't going to get a similar education. Personally, I was delighted and wanted to go to the comprehensive.

I don't have kids but I certainly wouldn't want any sons of mine going to that school at that time, not knowing what I do now about the abuse they had and the misery my brother initially endured. However both have done very well academically out of it. The one who was in therapy for instance is working in finance and earning ££££ . I'm an NHS nurse with a much less impressive academic background earning far less! Though tbh I'm not as academic and a bit lazy!