I'm getting married next year and I'm really struggling with my family's lack of interest in the wedding/my life in general. I've lived in the UK on and off since 2009 and permanently since 2017. My parents have visited a handful of times. My sister has never shown an interest in visiting at all. Finances are not an issue. I am constantly guilt tripped about how I need to come home, I need to see my sister's new house, etc. Again, no one has seen my house and my sister has never visited me. (I went home this year for the first time since the pandemic. I was very excited to see DS's house. It is beautiful and I told her so).
My sister showed initial interest in coming but now that her plus one is potentially not able to make it she wants to come for only 2-3 days. I'm disappointed because I wanted to do some specific activities with her and also show her my life here (the wedding is in my fiance's hometown several hours away from where I live so she won't have time to visit). To top it off, now my father, who hasn't visited me since 2019 and only met my fiance once, is also only going to stay for a few days because my 35 year old sister "can't travel alone". Given transatlantic flights aren't cheap he probably won't visit again anytime soon so it really cuts short my time with him.
I politely asked my parents if there was a reason why my sister wanted to cut her visit short, thinking that if she was worried about being on her we could plan some things to do together. My father told me "we will not discuss your sister when she is not here". I expressed that I was a little bit hurt that I am expected to be interested and excited about the milestones in other people's lives (and I am) yet it is perfectly fine if that is not reciprocated. My parents did not acknowledge this and only said I should "ask my sister how she is doing more" despite the fact that I talk to her very regularly.
For background there is very much a scapegoat/golden child dynamic in our house. Growing up my DM and DS would bully me and my DF has always had a major blindspot for DS. He once found a lot of alcohol under her bed when she was underage and was adamant she was holding it for a friend because "his daughter" wouldn't do that. This is one of many examples.
Their whole attitude is such a contrast to DP's family. His father is apparently telling everyone at their local pub about the wedding, his friends and family are staying two nights at the hotel despite living nearby and his aunt is even getting her own makeup artist in to get her ready for her favourite nephew's wedding. I was helping DM book her hotel room for the wedding and she was so surprised at how nice the venue was despite me sending her photos and other information for the last six months. Clearly she never looked at anything I shared.
Any tips for dealing with the disappointment and navigating these family dynamics?