What would someone with normal boundaries do here?

[AnIndianWoman]

My child has been invited to a party (last minute) where it’s obvious he was only brought in after others declined - the mum didn’t even bother to hide the mid-Aug rsvp date. The children are really close - describe each other as best friends - and while my DH gets on well with the Dad, the Mum has made it clear several times that I’m not her type of person (ie ignoring me at other parties etc) so I think the late invitation might have been sent deliberately in the hope we’d be too busy to come.

What would you do here? DS is 3.5 and the girl is his friend and so I’m tempted to accept. DH thinks the late invitation was rude and thinks I shouldn’t - but if I left it up to him DS wouldn’t go to any non-family parties!

Does your ds want to go to his friend's party? If yes, I'd accept. If no, or you already have plans, don't.

Honestly, it's a 3 year old's party. I couldn't get worked up about when the invitation came or who is friends with whose parent. It's quite standard to invite the children that the child says they want to invite. If there end up being spaces available, then lovely to extend the invitation further. Parties are expensive and you can't always invite everyone. I'm not personally friends with most of my dc's friends' parents. They aren't my type of people/we don't have much in common/I don't really go out of my way to speak to them. But if my dc like their dc and want to spend time with them, we do our best to accommodate that. I couldn't get arsy over a toddler's birthday invite. There are much bigger fish to fry.

All other issues aside, if your dc wants to go, then say yes and take them. You can bring a book and sit in the corner and read if you don't want to make small talk with anyone.

This may come as a surprise, but almost no one likes children's parties. They are boring and tedious and they only get good when it's a drop and run situation and it's basically 2 hours of free childcare. Honestly, they really aren't a joy. But it's the sort of thing that you have to do as a parent - both of you! - to raise happy, social children.

I do think you (and particulaely DH) are overthinking this. Analysing the dates and constructing a narrative alongside your perception of whether she likes you or not and what it means if you go or not as though you need to stand a stand against not being important enough in just isn't necessary and is a waste of time and energy on unnecessary posturing.

The DC are good friends, it's a kids party; if you're able to attend then why wouldn't you. Not everyone has to really like us or want to socialise with us over others, that doesn't make it a slight on your person.

Rather odd perspective from your DH about no non family parties for your DC though. If this is the case and he won't ever be taking his child to any, what does it even have to do with him would be my thoughts. He doesn't seem to have helped matters chiming in.

If your son will enjoy the party and if you can be bothered to take him then I'd go to it. There may be some nice parents there to chat to.