Has anyone else had a Mr (not so) nice guy manager

[minibreak39573]

I am finding it really hard to explain why I think my manager is a basically a sexist p. I know saying that doesn't make me sound great either.

I have worked under him for the last 12 months but worked for the company 7 years. I use to enjoy the role and I really like the company I work for and don't want to feel I have to leave because of him.

Trying to explain his behaviour is hard. He is Mr nice guy so friendly to everyone especially those on pay grades above him. Talks about his wife all the time as if he is a saint to her. He does everything around the house apparently.

Here's my observations-
Only employs young 'sweet' girls/women, makes comments like he wants us all to be nice then we can all have a nice relationship, if we don't agree we make it hard for our selves. His mask slips when he messes up he has to find someone to blame. He definitely has favourites (basically those who tell him how great he is). He only wants positivity which can be extremely toxic when things are going wrong/someone is struggling as we can't speak up.

For a while I thought it was just me, however, there has been a couple of complaints made against him by women in my company. His manager was apparently shocked how can such a nice guy be misunderstood.

Has anyone else worked under someone similar? Can you explain what it is/how I explain it if I ever needed to?

The oil and gas industry is full of ageing lothario management that surround themselves with young women. It's sickening to see.

Absolutely! And they do not react well if they realise you see through their persona.

Unless you want to move on, or take the time and effort to convince him that he is simply too good and too talented not to pursue promotion to a different office, my advice is to simply smile, be polite, be very careful what you say and who you say it to, and document absolutely everything. Never delete any emails from him. Mine rose upwards so I no longer have to deal with him, but you have my sympathy.

This is a really difficult situation, you need evidence of 'proper' issues which are clear and either affect the business or would constitute bullying/harassment /discrimination.

Only employing nice young ladies is evidence of nothing.
Encouraging a positive and constructive team is poor management but not evidence of BHD.

What behaviour do you need to challenge? What happens when you challenge it? This will probably be evidence.

If you just dislike him because he's slimy (and you are right to!) it's not really a work issue, they will only care if he's impacting business or may cause an employment tribunal.