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Original poster

Would you be happy with this? School related dilemma

20 replies

Bday2day · 04/09/2023 19:00

My dd has planned to walk to secondary school with her primary friends. They are all girls 11 yr olds.
Now last minute one of the friends has asked if her boyfriend can walk along too. He's two years older and I've never met him. Didn't even know this friend had an older boyfriend!

Would you be happy with this?

Dd doesn't want to walk with him but also doesn't want to walk alone.

Not sure what to do about it.

OP posts:

Doggymummar · 04/09/2023 19:01

Why not? What's the concern?

Whattheflipflap · 04/09/2023 19:01

Your DD just needs to chose if she walks with these two, or other friends or alone

i imagine the young couple have decided they’re certainly walking otgetger

Whattheflipflap · 04/09/2023 19:03

I certainly wouldn’t have an issue- I also wouldn’t be doing anything

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YouHoooo · 04/09/2023 19:07

I wouldn’t have an issue, but I’d also make sure DD knows it’s ok to tell friend she wants to walk alone or with others.

I’d also assume that the 11yo (!) romance will be over well before half term.

redskytonights · 04/09/2023 19:09

You do realise any number of random people will potentially join them as they walk along; there will be a last minute diversion via Sophie's house and a few of them will try to go to the local shop to sneak in chocolate.

It doesn't really matter if you like it or not, you don't really have any control over who your daughter walks to school with. If your daughter doesn't like it then she can find other walkers/split the group/go on her own.

Tessabelle74 · 04/09/2023 19:39

He's 13 not 45, what's the problem?

MasterCherry · 04/09/2023 19:41

All of the above.

SpanishSummer · 04/09/2023 19:44

No problem and once they are walking without you, you have no say who is out and about at the same time. She will also be walking about the school with older children you know?

MoorlandWanderer · 04/09/2023 19:45

Would I be happy with it? Yes, totally fine, but your daughter isn’t happy with it and that’s the only thing you need to know. I’d be talking to her about it and giving her a safe space to vent about out why she’s not happy and then encourage to sort this out with her friends - she can talk to them all and sort a plan.

PuttingDownRoots · 04/09/2023 19:46

I have absolutely no idea who DD walks to school with... it varies daily!

You naturally know less about their lives as they gett older.

QuillBill · 04/09/2023 19:48

You can't stop other children joining in with a group walking to school so what's the point of stopping this boy beforehand. Nobody is going to say 'I see you are walking along there, can I walk along here also'.

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 04/09/2023 19:49

Tessabelle74 · 04/09/2023 19:39

He's 13 not 45, what's the problem?

This 😂 I'm confused as to what the issue is?

Leovaldie · 04/09/2023 19:49

Not sure what the concern is...does your dd not like him? In our school they tend to start walking in twos but pick up people along the way and arrive at school in a big group

itsgettingweird · 04/09/2023 19:52

What's her issue with it?

Because there are kids 11-16/18 in secondary schools. There's kids if all ages walking together to and around school.

She may be feeling anxious and wants security of her friend and just needs a bit of a handhold and reassurance?

DowntonCrabby · 04/09/2023 19:55

What’s DD’s concern? Upsetting the dynamic of the established group?

This is a key time for group and friendship changes, it doesn’t sound as though DD will be the only one walking with the couple and they may naturally split into the couple/ the others.

It’s difficult to know whether this is simply DD’s concern- easily managed as this is really very normal, or some of your concern too OP.

Freddiefox · 04/09/2023 20:05

Not sure what to do about it.

what are your options?

LifeIsShitJustNow · 04/09/2023 20:25

You do nothing.
It’s her friend who has a bf, not her. And she isn’t walking with just said friend but as a group with other girls.

Ask her what she wants to do and let her know that whatever she does is ok. It’s also ok for her to change her mind!

Just now her friends from primary will look an essential boy to start that new year and new school. Very soon she’ll have made new friends anyway. And she might it might not want to keep strong link with her primary school friends. Up to her to decide what works for her.

LifeIsShitJustNow · 04/09/2023 20:28

Btw it is always a shock when they start secondary school and you dont know the parents.
However, you need to realise this will be the norm rather than the exception from now on.
And it’s ok.

Original poster

Bday2day · 04/09/2023 20:38

Okay so I see there's nothing I should do about this. Just have to go along with it.

OP posts:

GreyCarpet · 04/09/2023 20:50

I don't think anyone really understands why you need to do anything about it or what you think you could or should do?

What's your daughters reason for not wanting him to walk with them?

Perhaps if you explain, people will be able to suggest a way of helping your daughter feel comfortable with it so she doesn't miss out on walking to school with her friends.

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