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Unreasonable behaviour on my son's birthday

2 replies

Totallybananas · 04/09/2023 10:04

Would love some advice. Daughter moved in her much older boyfriend after splitting up with his wife. It was acrimonious and to save himself, made out I had not been a good friend to his mates, ruining the friendship. They eventually decided to forgive him for his behaviour.

Problem is, their son was great friends with my 8 year old in the same class and the only thing he asked for, for his birthday was to do something with his friend.

Instead of saying no, they said they had things to do over the next 4 days, then maybe after the 4 days. I then messaged them twice and got blanked.

I understand that adults might have opinions, but hurting an 8 year old by setting expectations then letting him down because of the trouble your mate has caused between us just seems wrong.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking they should have just said, no, we're not friends anymore instead of upsetting an 8 year old in his Birthday so I didn't set expectations that they could do something together?

OP posts:
Heyhoherewegoagain · 04/09/2023 10:07

whilst their behaviour has been poor in not replying to messages etc, I think the onus was on you to manage your son’s expectations

Sirzy · 04/09/2023 10:11

I’m not quite following the chain of events leading up to it.

but irrespective of rights or wrongs the onus is on you to manage expectations for your son, so when they weren’t available you should have just told him that and arranged something else. If a later meet up came off that’s just a bonus.

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