Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Wide awake thinking about boredom

14 replies

YukoandHiro · 04/09/2023 03:56

Is anyone else just quite bored with everything?

In my 20s and early 30s I had so much going on in my life - interesting friends, great career, loads happening socially, travel etc . I had a couple of health issues but even despite that I always had interesting stuff happening.

Now I am married with two kids (although DH was around for a chunk of my earlier life too, so the change is kids..) and I'm self employed so work from home and honestly I just feel like i'm just wading though the days

DC are still v young so i'm busy, not idle, always exhausted. I do see friends when I can but it tends to be for coffee or a quiet dinner, nothing spontaneous or anywhere new.

I often lie in bed (poor sleep at the moment - I think perimenopause too) at night thinking back over great memories and wondering when I'll ever have a busy life like that again. Don't get me wrong I wouldn't want to be out clubbing anymore, but I just had such a vibrant life full and now it all feel as bit .... I dunno, just flat.

Relationship with DH is good albeit he thrives more on predictability than I do...

OP posts:
Original poster
YukoandHiro · 04/09/2023 03:56

I do think wfh doesn't help as I don't meet lots of new people...

OP posts:
Catsmere · 04/09/2023 04:05

I think I'm less often bored now than I used to be. I'm my mother's carer, which is tedious and irritating, but also means there are appointments almost every day of the week, so the time is broken up. I also drive, which I only learned to do in my late 50s, so I have a lot more independence that way than when I was using trains and trams to get anywhere. If I want to go out for a couple of hours I can do it.

lljkk · 04/09/2023 04:08

yeah, wfh means same same same.

Go out & meet people & challenge yourself, OP. Prove to yourself you can do new things & scary things & stuff you find difficult.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Menopause Women's health
Original poster
YukoandHiro · 04/09/2023 07:04

I do think wfh is a big part of it. It means the days all meld into one. And I spend more time at home during weekends than I used to too because of young DC

OP posts:
RhubarbFairy · 04/09/2023 07:16

It gets less like this as the DC get older. You start to get some of your freedoms back as they can either join you, or you can get out and do things for you. My example is joining a running club. I ran when the DC were small but couldn't join the club I wanted to as I would have needed to be out of the door before bedtime. At the time, DH worked in the office, and I would have been throwing the DC at him as soon as he walked through the door. He's brilliant, but I wouldn't like that, so I wouldn't do it to him. Now that the DC are older, I just go out. DH is at home, and they're still up when I get back (and able to get themselves ready for bed).

Can you book a weekend away with a friend? I did that when the DC were 2 and 4. DH was supportive of me doing it before then, but I didn't want to leave them for that long. I went abroad and have done it several times since. I highly recommend it. It's incredibly restorative.

ThreeRingCircus · 04/09/2023 08:05

WFH is a killer for this, everything feels so samey as you end up staying in your house a lot more than usual. I go into the office a couple of days a week and like the social side of that and the change of scenery. If you're self employed could you look at a co-working space? Or could you work from a café for a bit?

It does get easier as DC get older. Mine are 6 and 4 now and it's getting simpler. E.g. they're happy watching a film with DH so I can go to the gym, or they can entertain themselves more so I can research something or do some reading.

Having a goal or a hobby also helps. I started lifting weights and liked the challenge of that. Seeing improvements and noticing that I'm getting stronger and can lift heavier weights has been a good challenge for me and gives me a sense of accomplishment.

Also I took up gardening as a hobby. It's nothing earth shattering, and the hobby could be whatever you like but I find I'm never bored as now I'm always looking forwards. Either working in the garden, planting things or researching what to plant next year. I'm continually learning and that stops me getting bored.

ThreeRingCircus · 04/09/2023 08:06

I also totally agree with a PP about getting away for a weekend. My friend and I go on a spa weekend break twice a year and it's lovely to just reset and catch up.

skinnytobe · 04/09/2023 08:21

Do something for you! Don't just be a wife/mum/worker.

My DC are much older now but I remember this feeling well.

I've got my life back. Out most weekends watching live music. Holidays away with the girls. Or with DP without the kids. We holiday with the teens too of course but it's nice to have some of me back!

Jazzyjulia · 04/09/2023 08:24

I am completely the same OP. WFH and have a 6 year old. Husband works away in a really exciting business (festivals) and works crazy hours. It’s exhausting but there’s no doubt his job is exciting. Whereas here I am, day after day bored out of my brain and I don’t know what to do to change it as I’m effectively single parenting too.
Im dreading the return to school this week as I think I might be quite depressed once Groundhog Day starts up again, but your post and the replies have jolted me into thinking about hobbies/ other interests.
Thanks for posting, good luck and know you’re not alone!

MadamWhiteleigh · 04/09/2023 08:25

I think for you, it’s the combination of your kids still being young and WFH. Lots of routine, lots of time in the house.

Your kids will grow so that will change naturally but also maybe look at your job and see if you can change something there.

Adelaide66 · 04/09/2023 09:24

I do sympathise. Walking groups are a way of socialising and seeing new surroundings.
I have a UK weekend away with two friends every year. One of them enjoys organising which is what , dear OP you need at the moment. Try and live for today.xx

Original poster
YukoandHiro · 04/09/2023 15:28

MadamWhiteleigh · 04/09/2023 08:25

I think for you, it’s the combination of your kids still being young and WFH. Lots of routine, lots of time in the house.

Your kids will grow so that will change naturally but also maybe look at your job and see if you can change something there.

Actually I really love my job but I chose to do it independently after kids as the contracted roles in my industry are 10-12 hours a day and very rarely part time, so pretty much incompatible with primary school aged children. I may go back "in house" after the children grow.

But yes the constant routines, always the same things even on weekends, is knackering psychologically if you're someone (me) who thrives on novelty.

OP posts:
Original poster
YukoandHiro · 04/09/2023 15:29

Jazzyjulia · 04/09/2023 08:24

I am completely the same OP. WFH and have a 6 year old. Husband works away in a really exciting business (festivals) and works crazy hours. It’s exhausting but there’s no doubt his job is exciting. Whereas here I am, day after day bored out of my brain and I don’t know what to do to change it as I’m effectively single parenting too.
Im dreading the return to school this week as I think I might be quite depressed once Groundhog Day starts up again, but your post and the replies have jolted me into thinking about hobbies/ other interests.
Thanks for posting, good luck and know you’re not alone!

Really feel for you. I have a 6yo and a 3yo and a DH who works shifts so often doing all the evening/bedtime stuff solo, which adds to the feeling or relentlessness. Any evening out requires weeks of planning around his rota 😩

OP posts:
Perihelion · 04/09/2023 15:56

It's the young children sucking the energy from you.
I now have a 17 year old, we were both a festival last weekend... different ones 😂

New posts on this thread. Refresh page