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Hating child (2nd try)

19 replies

Hating11 · 03/09/2023 22:47

My 2 children go to their dad's every other weekend. They are age 7&8. They often spend time with their nephew who is 11. Recently the 11 year old nephew has been bullying my 7 &8 year old. My childrens dad Said hes going to tell the nephews mum. (His daughter) (My ex is the nephews grandad)

My children's father and his mum. ( the children's nan/great nan. And the nephews dad grandad. We're going on about how they hate the 11 year old. They say that he's a nasty shit. And he's very fake. They love him because hes their grandchild/great grandchild. But they don't like him.

In the past there have been family fall outs and its always his adult daughter that's the problem. He slags her of to me what she's done sounds awful. But he tells half a story making her seem really bad. Later on bits slip out that were left of, that other members of the family had said. So he's made her seem really bad when actually other people had a part to play.

I just don't understand why somone would want to make their adult child seem like a bad person when they are not. And say they hate their grandchild.

Note: I have written this already this evening. People could not understand what I was trying to say. I'm not sure if this is any better. I have asked for the other thread to be removed.

OP posts:
CoopAndWheels · 03/09/2023 23:10

It sounds like a family you are well out of tbh.
If he speaks like that about his own DD & Grandson, imagine what he is saying about your joint DC & you!

TheShellBeach · 03/09/2023 23:15

How can two children aged 7 and 8 have a nephew aged 11?

TheShellBeach · 03/09/2023 23:19

I don't really understand what you're saying either, TBH.

Hellocatshome · 03/09/2023 23:20

TheShellBeach · 03/09/2023 23:15

How can two children aged 7 and 8 have a nephew aged 11?

Very easily if there is a large age gap between siblings.

Hating11 · 03/09/2023 23:51

CoopAndWheels · 03/09/2023 23:10

It sounds like a family you are well out of tbh.
If he speaks like that about his own DD & Grandson, imagine what he is saying about your joint DC & you!

Indeed . He thinks I'm dumb 🤣

OP posts:
Hating11 · 03/09/2023 23:52

TheShellBeach · 03/09/2023 23:19

I don't really understand what you're saying either, TBH.

That's OK. I have found if hard to word.

OP posts:
noctiscaelum · 04/09/2023 00:08

It's quite confusing. So what's the problem you want to talk about/focus on? Is it about your children disliking a 11 years old? Or the fact that your ex and his mum speaking badly about their dd/dgd?

Hating11 · 04/09/2023 00:18

noctiscaelum · 04/09/2023 00:08

It's quite confusing. So what's the problem you want to talk about/focus on? Is it about your children disliking a 11 years old? Or the fact that your ex and his mum speaking badly about their dd/dgd?

My children don't dislike the 11 year old.

It's more to do with the ex and his mum speaking badly about the 11 year old and the adult daughter/gdg. I blunt terms its not my business and nothing I can do. I just think it's odd.

OP posts:
Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 04/09/2023 00:19

There isn’t much you can do as the kids are with their dad.

Hating11 · 04/09/2023 00:24

Somewhereovertherainbowweighapie · 04/09/2023 00:19

There isn’t much you can do as the kids are with their dad.

I'm.not really worried about the kids. I just wrote it as a back ground type thing. To explain why the adults are saying horrible things about the 11 year old.

OP posts:
Gowlett · 04/09/2023 00:25

My DH family is like this. It’s a toxic soap opera. I stay well out of it. But I hate when DH brings this sort of behaviour into our home…

TheShellBeach · 04/09/2023 00:26

So are you worried about your children hearing unpleasant things about the slightly older child?

Hating11 · 04/09/2023 00:29

TheShellBeach · 04/09/2023 00:26

So are you worried about your children hearing unpleasant things about the slightly older child?

No . It does not matter. I give up 🤣. Its me not you . I tried earlier and messed it up then to .

OP posts:
Hating11 · 04/09/2023 00:35

Gowlett · 04/09/2023 00:25

My DH family is like this. It’s a toxic soap opera. I stay well out of it. But I hate when DH brings this sort of behaviour into our home…

To be honest my own family has its dramas. I just don't understand why you would set your own daughter up to make her look bad. ( by saying half a story) or say you hate a child just feel a bit bad for them.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 04/09/2023 01:38

So what's the problem?

GarlicGrace · 04/09/2023 05:47

I had to read it twice, but you did explain it.

The 11-year-old is her children's nephew because he's the child of their half-sister, who's obviously much older.

Op's ex-husband is the father of OP's children. The nephew's mother is also his child.

Ex-husband, his daughter and his parents are all really horrible about the 11-year-old nephew. They say they love him but dislike him, he's a nasty little shit, etc. It's not very surprising that he bullies the younger kids, his self-esteem must be through the floor.

OP says they also talk about her step-daughter (nephew's mother) this way. OP has noticed that the stories making her step-daughter look bad are never complete. She gets other bits of the story from different family members, and it turns out she wasn't so bad after all.

I agree, @Hating11, families like this create rolling problems for themselves and damage their children. I can sort of see how it passes down the generations: if your own family badmouth you all your life, you'll probably feel the only way to make yourself feel better is to put the others down in return!

It's pretty sad - and, I bet, very wearing. Glad you & your kids aren't living in the middle of that mess any more.

Legocrayola · 04/09/2023 05:56

I get it. It's the fact that your ex is slagging off his own child and grandchildren to you. So you know he is a nasty shit who is probably saying the same to other people about you and your kids.

My ex MIL is like this. Just avoid as much as possible.

Hating11 · 04/09/2023 07:43

GarlicGrace · 04/09/2023 05:47

I had to read it twice, but you did explain it.

The 11-year-old is her children's nephew because he's the child of their half-sister, who's obviously much older.

Op's ex-husband is the father of OP's children. The nephew's mother is also his child.

Ex-husband, his daughter and his parents are all really horrible about the 11-year-old nephew. They say they love him but dislike him, he's a nasty little shit, etc. It's not very surprising that he bullies the younger kids, his self-esteem must be through the floor.

OP says they also talk about her step-daughter (nephew's mother) this way. OP has noticed that the stories making her step-daughter look bad are never complete. She gets other bits of the story from different family members, and it turns out she wasn't so bad after all.

I agree, @Hating11, families like this create rolling problems for themselves and damage their children. I can sort of see how it passes down the generations: if your own family badmouth you all your life, you'll probably feel the only way to make yourself feel better is to put the others down in return!

It's pretty sad - and, I bet, very wearing. Glad you & your kids aren't living in the middle of that mess any more.

Yes you get it. Apart from wexwete never married thank god 😅 also its him that tells me half story's then adds more later. I don't think the 11 year old knows any of this its not said to him or infront of him.

OP posts:
Hating11 · 04/09/2023 07:46

Legocrayola · 04/09/2023 05:56

I get it. It's the fact that your ex is slagging off his own child and grandchildren to you. So you know he is a nasty shit who is probably saying the same to other people about you and your kids.

My ex MIL is like this. Just avoid as much as possible.

Yes absolutely. And I know for a fact he does it about me and my own kids 🤣. I pretend not to know.

OP posts:
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