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Original poster

To ask if theres any way I can make this work? EHCP intervention and extra-curricular

26 replies

EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 18:47

DC is 9, starting Year 5. Has an EHCP.

I’ve just received the intervention timetable for the EHCP and one activity falls after school (like it always has) think like therapy of some sort; speech, physio, OT etc. DC stays at school for this and comes out at about 4.30.

This year it falls on the same night as DCs only extracurricular.

Technically DC can do both as there’s 45 minutes between the therapy ending and activity starting but it’ll be tight as activity is 15 minute drive away if traffic is ok and we want to arrive bang on time, DC would rather be early so I usually leave with 20-25 minutes before it starts and sit outside for 5-10 mins. So that only leaves us 20 minutes at most to get home from school, eat and change.

Activity finishes at 7.15 so home by 7.30-7.45 and DC needs to be in bed no later than 8.15 due to their conditions so eating right before going to sleep isn’t a great combination - ADHD is one of their conditions, the bedtime routine alone takes 45 minutes without having to eat (takes 30-40 minutes if I rush them which I shouldn’t do, or up to 2 hours if I don’t) so that pushes bedtime to after 10pm.

To make it even more complicated DC won’t eat any of the hot meal options at school that day and I work that day so needs to be something quick (I’m a single parent no help from anyone in the week). So I don’t even have that as an option, and have to send a packed lunch that day.

I’m loathed to take them out of the group as DC loves it and absolutely hates school so I don’t want them resenting school anymore, but it doesn’t run any other night (think like a towns only scout/gg/army cadet group and all the ages run one after the other or concurrently on the same night). And there’s no spaces at groups further away plus it’d be taking DC away from their friends they’ve made at this group and they only see at this group so could end up with them quitting anyway.

This is DCs only other activity as well so I do not want them to stop, but they cannot not have the EHCP intervention, because if they don’t, we lose the funding. I am desperately trying to change the night but may not be able to as it’s NHS and council funded so it’s up to them when they run it.

I have requested to wfh on that day, but not sure it’ll be approved.

Any ideas how I can make this work? I will literally take anything at this point.

I've been mulling this over since Friday when I had the meeting with school about it and I cannot think how to make it work. I said to the Senco "Oh no thats (activity) night" and senco replied "We'll have to make it work" but they mean I will have to make it work.

OP posts:
YouHoooo · 03/09/2023 18:51

Don’t worry about going home, change in the car/ at the activity and eat a hot meal while waiting outside the activity.

A thermos full of stew/ pasta / almost anything would work. Call it an evening picnic and make a bit of an adventure.

I can see why it’s important to get him to do both, so I’d be as creative as you can. Good luck!

Tuxedomom · 03/09/2023 18:51

Easiest compromise is to have a packed lunch type dinner and DC either changes at school or on arrival at activity and eat packed meal in waiting time at car, don't go home. Time to decompress. One day a week of 2 packed meals won't hurt.

Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 18:54

Don't go home, DC gets changed in the car or in venue toilets/ changing room.
If your at work can you take a soup and heat it up and put it in a food flask (I actually think it would still be hot from the morning too). Or make something like potato salad etc that can go to work with you and go in the fridge or other packed lunch type food.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

9 year olds Families General education Primary education
Overthebow · 03/09/2023 18:59

Just give him a packed lunch to eat in the car/when he gets there. He doesn’t need a hot meal everyday, he’ll be fine for a day. You could give different options to what he had a lunch, like pasta salad or a wrap.

Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:03

Eating takes ages though due to the ADHD so we may not have enough time.

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 19:16

@EHCPIntervention why not give it a go though? See how he gets on, if you do snacky type things then he can eat it on the way back. Unless he's very underweight etc one day with a light meal won't do him any harm. Or he has half a meal before the activity and another small meal Cereal or toast before bed it can't add that much onto the evening, or give him milk, nutritious smoothie to up the calories if he needs it.

Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 19:19

Also have a conversation with the group organiser, explain the issue and just tell them you might be a bit late due to his therapy. I doubt they'll have any issue with it especially if its not a sport so doesn't need a warm up.

Soontobe60 · 03/09/2023 19:24

TBH it sounds exhausting. A full day at school, a therapy session immediately after then a club after that. Something’s got to give here.

Booblessandbeautiful · 03/09/2023 19:27

EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:03

Eating takes ages though due to the ADHD so we may not have enough time.

Then they go into activity without having finished meal - you are making a big deal of this! Lots of us manage similar clashes regularly for all the junior school years

Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:29

Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 19:16

@EHCPIntervention why not give it a go though? See how he gets on, if you do snacky type things then he can eat it on the way back. Unless he's very underweight etc one day with a light meal won't do him any harm. Or he has half a meal before the activity and another small meal Cereal or toast before bed it can't add that much onto the evening, or give him milk, nutritious smoothie to up the calories if he needs it.

@Singleandproud You're right I just worried it'd be too much but I can try it and see and re-evaluate after a few weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:29

Booblessandbeautiful · 03/09/2023 19:27

Then they go into activity without having finished meal - you are making a big deal of this! Lots of us manage similar clashes regularly for all the junior school years

Show quote history

@Booblessandbeautiful You're right I just panicked.

Will give it ago and re-evaluate in a few weeks.

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:31

Soontobe60 · 03/09/2023 19:24

TBH it sounds exhausting. A full day at school, a therapy session immediately after then a club after that. Something’s got to give here.

@Soontobe60 But what? I can't give up the therapy and making DC give up the club could make them resent going to school and make them school refuse. We've had it before so it's a very real possibility.

OP posts:
BlueBlubbaWhale · 03/09/2023 19:31

Why is his EHCP provision outside school times? It shouldn't be. Ask them to move it.

JohnLapsleyParlabane · 03/09/2023 19:34

We do almost the same thing. It freaked me out planning it. So I really do understand and synpathise. A packed dinner in the car does work. I planned it with my child, she was able to understand it as 'this will be our Thursday routine'. My child eats some things whilst traveling, then something else when parked. Then change for activity. Then more eating on the journey home. The planning is the hardest part, now we're a year in.

Pixie2015 · 03/09/2023 19:34

Like others say things like this are common and if he wants to go to club will be a motivating factor. Change when get there have pack lunch in car can go a day without hot meal. Give high calorie pack lunch so if doesn’t eat all due to time will still have energy

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 19:38

My question is why is it after school?

My ds secondary tried to do all this interventions after school hours so he couldn't go home when other students did - only those who were kept behind on detention.

The judge told the school that was not acceptable!

If you're happy with it ask for it to be changed to another day. Especially if his extra curricula is just as important for his development and skills

Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 19:45

Why is it after school?

I have asked this before, and been told it's to do with the availability of the therapist and is not chosen by school. DC has to be kept because school have to legally deliver the intervention. I am going to ring said therapist tomorrow and see if we can change night but not holding out much hope.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 19:58

The judge in my tribunal hinted its was disability discrimination.

As I say just hinted.

But he asked why they thought it acceptable to keep a pupil with a disability after school when everyone else could with go home or choose and enrichment activity unless kept behind in detention as punishment.

He then said especially because a pupil with a disability will already be in's the day much harder.

If the therapist is delivering physio or whatever after school then he doesn't need it to access a lesson that day. Therefore it doesn't matter when he gets it. So the therapist could come to your home and deliver it any other time - even if that's 5pm on a more convenient day.

Fwiw I did all ds physio and OT myself at home and all educational interventions such as spelling and English and emotional literacy was delivered at school.

That was my choice so he didn't have to drop too many subjects and his physical disability isn't an educational need - as in spasticity in his legs doesn't effect his ability to learn maths!

But all his interventions related to his autism were educational needs.

I would really push this and perhaps contact ipsea or sossen for advice

Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 19:59

Don't forget to pack yourself some food and do your self a hot drink too as I was ravenous on days DD swam as I literally picked her up from my parents and took her straight to training when I finished work and didn't get home till 8:30-9pm and if I was on early lunch at work had that at 11:30.

Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 20:01

Singleandproud · 03/09/2023 19:59

Don't forget to pack yourself some food and do your self a hot drink too as I was ravenous on days DD swam as I literally picked her up from my parents and took her straight to training when I finished work and didn't get home till 8:30-9pm and if I was on early lunch at work had that at 11:30.

@Singleandproud Thank you for the tip will definitely pack myself something or save some money to go to the nearby cafe.

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCPIntervention · 03/09/2023 20:01

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 19:58

The judge in my tribunal hinted its was disability discrimination.

As I say just hinted.

But he asked why they thought it acceptable to keep a pupil with a disability after school when everyone else could with go home or choose and enrichment activity unless kept behind in detention as punishment.

He then said especially because a pupil with a disability will already be in's the day much harder.

If the therapist is delivering physio or whatever after school then he doesn't need it to access a lesson that day. Therefore it doesn't matter when he gets it. So the therapist could come to your home and deliver it any other time - even if that's 5pm on a more convenient day.

Fwiw I did all ds physio and OT myself at home and all educational interventions such as spelling and English and emotional literacy was delivered at school.

That was my choice so he didn't have to drop too many subjects and his physical disability isn't an educational need - as in spasticity in his legs doesn't effect his ability to learn maths!

But all his interventions related to his autism were educational needs.

I would really push this and perhaps contact ipsea or sossen for advice

@itsgettingweird They don't do home visits or clinics, it's in school or not at all I've asked before.

OP posts:
BlueBlubbaWhale · 03/09/2023 20:02

The local authority are the ones with the legal responsibility to deliver the provision and if the nhs therapist can't do it in school time they need to find an independent one who can.

slopsan · 03/09/2023 20:04

Look at this as a good way of teaching flexibility. If he wants to go to club, he'll need to eat in the car or when he gets home. Don't withdraw him unless it proves too difficult after a half term of trying it out.

itsgettingweird · 03/09/2023 20:05

They don't do home visits or clinics, it's in school or not at all I've asked before.

You get told all sorts. Doesn't make it true.

I would honestly ask the special educational specialists for advice.

Needing interventions for a disability should not prevent him from accessing the same opportunities as his peers and that includes after school extra curriculas.

And if this therapist can't do school hours or home visits they need to find one that does!

Jellycatspyjamas · 03/09/2023 20:17

Could you send him to school with something hot in a flask? My DS has ADHD and takes pasta in a flask for lunch every day (limited diet), you could then do a packed lunch type thing for dinner in the car.