Am I overreacting..?

[DianaBarry5]

So I have 2 old friends who are both 9 years younger than me. We have known each other for almost 30 years and get on well although don't see each other much really.

Anyway, I have recently celebrated a BIG birthday which I have been a bit meh about. A few months ago we met up and one of the friends made some 'jokes' about my age. Ha ha we laughed it off.

Last weekend, I got no sleep one night due to a hospital stay with my daughter. The other friend asked to meet for a coffee , I was busy but said I'd text her later to see if we could fit it in. However I fell asleep so messaged the group chat to say that. The other friend immediately messaged saying 'nana nap'. I replied saying yes I love them.

Ten minutes later, she messaged saying had she offended me. I said not at all. But it got me thinking that she has always seemed obsessed with my age even when we first met, down to some embarrassing moments asking people to guess my age.

It's starting to annoy me but I'm quite prepared to be told I'm overthinking it?

I’m wondering why your friend messaged to ask if she had offended you with the “nana nap” comment? Do you think she was intentionally trying to hurt you? It certainly appears that way to me.
I think I would wait to see if she does similar in the future and then address it. You are not overreacting, she is just being a bit weird - but you think after all these years of friendship she’d got over the fact there is an age gap!

I knew someone like this. She was hugely sensitive about her own age and was struggling to come to terms with getting older, so it made her feel better about herself to put someone else in the role of the ‘old person’, although she’d furiously deny it if it was ever brought up.

If it was a new thing and she’s otherwise lovely, I’d just laugh it off and say that it happens to all of us. If it’s getting to be a bit pointed, I’d ask her what the obsession with my age was all of a sudden.

Exactly! As the other friend also replied saying she also loves a nap...why then ask if I was offended! She does have form for falling out with people and our friendship of 3 is her longest and only. When we met up in the run up to my recent birthday and she made a joke of it, I said say ha ha ha I'm not really in the mood to joke about it. Thanks for your reply

Nagado, the thing is it's not really a new thing as when I started thinking about it, it went back to when we first met all those years ago asking randoms to guess my age....

I would suspect someone told her they thought it was rude so she wanted to check with you.

Wouldn't read anything further into it.

I wouldn't read anything at all into nana nap. It was when I started thinking about the many other things over the years I started wondering why is she so bothered about it! We appear to look the same age or similar so it just started to baffle me slightly.

Well, if you look the same age as her and she's so much younger, then she's probably sensitive about that and trying to put you in your place. It's not nice at all.

I had hoped everyone would say I was overthinking...but I do think there's more to it now.

I'm resurrecting this post as I met up with the 2 friends for a coffee yesterday. I was last there, they were waiting for me, after the quick hellos, the other friend complimented a bag I was carrying, quick as a flash the age obsessed one asked 'oh did you get it for your {my age} birthday? It caught me so unawares as I dont think I've ever put an age in a question like that before and I just ignored her and told the other friend I'd bought it on holiday.....I feel I missed a chance to confront her and am annoyed with myself!

Just be prepared for it next time. A little remark such as "won't be long at all before you're xx age". Show her it's not bothering you and she should shut up!

For what it's worth, me and my friend who are both in our 30s use the phrase "nana nap". They're the best naps!!! 🤣

It sounds as if you are sensitive about your age, for this to bother you.

If I were celebrating my 60th or 50th (or when I did) I'm not (or wasn't) sad or embarrassed about my birthday, so I wouldn't think anyone was being nasty or unkind to refer to my birthday, as I felt it was a great reason to get out and have lots of celebrations.
I also love a nana nap and have done since I first had dc1, so I don't relate that to age, just the fact I am a person who needs my sleep and will make up for it during the day if I've not got enough sleep at night.

So for it to be bothering you like this, then I wonder if it has hit a nerve?

Yes I said upthread I was sensitive about it which she knew however the digs kept coming. Unless it's an i8th or a 21st I dont think I've ever mentioned age. Regarding the nana nap, yes it's a think people say about naps but the face she then messaged to ask if I was offended was the point that actually she was trying to make digs when I'd already laughed or off

If you're overthinking it, you're not the only one. Many people do it certainly.

You probably look great in your age, that stood out to me from the whole text.