You have the most friends when you’re the worst version of yourself?

[whatwasi]

I recently heard this and think it’s probably true.

I had a really good friend, we were both single and on similar salaries. Then over time she’s got a new job with a huge pay rise and a boyfriend and she’s changed and I feel like now she looks down on me.

When you’re the worst version of you then you moan about how bad your life is and it makes people feel better and smug about their own.

I'm not sure about that, I avoid negative moany people.
I definitely had more friends when I was a worse version of myself, younger, out drinking, partying a lot, being a bit obnoxious, lack of any responsibility etc. Loads of people around all the time not sure in hindsight they were actual friends though.

I don’t mean “moany” but to a friend you would confide your problems to.

Not in my experience. When I was the worst version of myself I lost all of my friends.

Erm..that's really interesting. I think it depends on the kind of friendship. It's certainly true that I had more friends when I was less self aware and volatile when I was younger...but then I lost them precisely for that reason. I now have a small handful of loyal friends (one bestie and the others more acquaintances really) and I think it's because they are not tied to that old version of me.

There might be something in your statement, but I guess it depends on what people are looking for from their friends.

No. I suppose it depends on what you mean by worst version, but generally when people are going through terrible times, which are destroying them internally, especially if protracted, they are not easy to be with are quite likely to take offense easily and see threat quickly, and are more likely to lose friends than gain them.

Though I think from your post that you probably have not been through anything really bad, and so your idea of ‘worst self’ is fairly mild and normal.

Hmm I'd say this is true for some people. I mare a lot of friends at uni when I was very much a party girl and there wasn't much I wouldn't do to get a laugh from people.

But I also know people who have loads of very wholesome, clean living type friends and run with that sort of crowd, so I think it just depends on the person.

I do often think though that sometimes the people who are the most fun to be with can end up being the worst people. It isn't a rule but I've found it to be true quite often