Six year old has become really whiny and over reacts to every.little.thing. Any parenting book / approaches recommended.

[GrabbyGabby]

Have 2 kids, 8y.o and 6 y.o.

For context, 8 y.o. Has ADHD and ASD, we have a low demand approach to parenting with her to minimise violent meltdowns, which has been working really well for her.

6 y.o., as far as we know is NT. She is v bright (was reading pretty fluently when she started reception). She has always been a bit whingy, but recently this has cranked up to 11. Everything is a drama. She says really unkind things when she is in a temper. She has started having massive tantrums over very small things.

I am struggling to know how to work with her. Low demand is not the right parenting approach for her, but more traditional approaches (consequences, rewards etc) are so very different to low demand that I am sure from her perspective it just doesn't feel fair.

Any recommendations on books/parenting approaches?

You're spectacularly missing the emotional impact on a child of seeing their older sibling being treated completely different to them whilst they are dismissed and mocked as being whiny.

You've heard on the Stately Homes thread on here? Where people detail how a sibling is treated as the Golden Child whereas they were the scapegoat, held to higher standards, dismissed, belittled and always came second? You're at risk of setting up a similar dynamic. It doesn't matter to the younger child that the older one has ASD/ADHD - the younger one could well have them in a less pronounced form (or not) - it's the disparity that the younger child will feel.

A 6yo telling you why pi is such an important number 🤔 that IS unusual OP

I never could bear whining. Used to tell my kids that unless they talked properly, I couldn’t hear them. So just ignored any whining talk.
A friend’s dd only ever whined - never talked properly. How she stood it I don’t know. Dreadful habit for kids to get.