If a spouse murders the other spouse who gets the children?

[frogswimming]

It seems so wrong if they go to live with the murderer's parents. How is it decided?

There would probably be placed in care to begin with until assessments of family members took place.

Why? The parents are not murderers.

What are you planning...?

😉

Family of the spouse that has been murdered.

Interesting.

I imagine social services would step in and look at options for family fostering, whether that be one or more grandparents, aunts, uncles etc. Why would that be unfair?

You surely aren't saying that a parent is to blame for their adult offspring's decision to murder someone? People kill for lots of reasons like being under the influence of drugs or in joint enterprise with someone else. Nothing to do with the parents.

What if they were murdered in self defence because they were abusive arseholes?

I put it in writing that my sibling should look after DC should anything happen to us. It doesn’t matter now they are young adults but If I happened to have murdered DH when DC were younger that would have still been the case afaic.
DH’s siblings wouldn’t have offered & PIL were a lot older than my DM.

Whichever members of the child's extended family are best able to care for them.

True. It's my emotional response to cases in the news. Partly that it could damage the child emotionally to live with their parent's murderer's family. Partly that it seems unfair to the murdered person.

I was thinking of these murders:

www.thesun.ie/news/8067746/who-rachel-oreilly-what-happened/amp/

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12389867/amp/My-dad-killed-Bond-actress-mum-tried-frame-innocent-man-fought-inheritance-horse-therapy-kept-spiralling.html

WHY are you asking @frogswimming ???

No, the grandparents would not be "responsible" for their adult offspring murdering their spouse but it is likely to be psychologically damaging for a child to be forced to live with the parents of their own parent's murderer. How would the narrative of the murder be framed?

metro.co.uk/2023/03/13/caroline-crouch-killer-husbands-family-loses-bid-for-custody-of-girl-18431674/amp/

I think it’s an odd way to see it ‘the parents murderers family’, it’s just their (the child’s) family surely? It’s still their grandad and grandma and if social services deemed them the best option to live with, then that’s that really. I don’t know about the examples posted, I’ve not read the links.

Having one parent murder another would be traumatic for any child. One dead and the other serving life. At that point, being with family who love & care for them would be all that matters.

The child will just see gran & grandad, who they have known all their lives, surely.

I think the difficulty would come in the relationship between the two sets of grand parents.

Family of the victim would probably be best if the family was safe.

My friend cared for then later legally adopted his two nieces when his sister was murdered about ten years ago. Bloody awful situation but the kids are thriving now. In England if it matters.

We adopted out children.

The ones we discussed before the ones we actually adopted needed to be adopted out of the area that they lived because one parent had killed the other (and a sibling) and it wasnt felt appropriate to place them with family members or within the same county.

I know a situation of where this tragically occurred. I will be vague obviously.
Social care assessed who was most suitable. The maternal grandparents ended up caring for the children. The father had been violent (although few details were known to the extended family) he and murdered his wife in one particularly violent attack. The man’s family stood by him during the court case etc. The children were teens and knew what was occurring. It was horrific.

I know a family where this happened abs the children lived with the mums (who was murdered) sister, the dad tried to get access to them when he was released 7 years later and the children who were teenagers then had to really fight to not have to see him min.

There won’t be one size fits all answer to this. It will be handled on a case by case basis.

https://www.rochdaleonline.co.uk/news-features/2/news-headlines/3752/heywood-man-sentenced-to-22-years-for-murdering-his-wife
Not quite the same but reminded me of the above.
Couple C and D were friends. Mrs C and Mr D have an affair and end up together. Mr C and Mrs D then end up together. Mr D murders Mrs C and attacks various other parties.
Involved in this were 3 children: 2 from one relationship, one from the other. Who then ended up as a blended family. They were all lovely children and I hope that all went well for them but it couldn't be the easiest situation.

I know of a situation where the children have been brought up by the murderer’s parents. I don’t know how the arrangement has come about and there are grandparents on both sides. They seem like nice people.

Happened to a friend sadly. Kids are with her (victim) parents.

This.

In the situation I know, the victims brother and his wife now care for the children.