How is your family organised? Looking for tips

[ForthegracegoI]

So another back-to-school, another attempt to get family life organised. I was a SAHM for ten years, and had all the time in the world to organise our lives. Now I'm working 32 hours a week, with two teen DSs and a more-than-full-time DH (teacher) I've been struggling with ... everything.

My biggest problems (I think) are that no one except me has a consistent daily / weekly timetable, and maybe I'm trying to stick to unrealistically high standards that I got used to previously. I used to batch cook, cook everything from scratch etc but am increasingly reaching for processed foods / sauces just to get dinner on the table after work. I also feel like I don't have time for my kids in the same way - they are teens and obviously want a bit more privacy, but it feels like most of our conversations these days are just shouted instructions ('remember to call! There's ham in the fridge for a sandwich! Dad'll pick you up at 10! I'll be home at 6!") and not a lot else. Eating real food (as much as possible) and sitting down for at least one meal a day together is a priority for us. Unf I don't have a regular 'big shop' day, maybe I need to enforce that. I tend to shop locally go to the market, but it does take more time.

Schedules: I work 5 days (3 full in office, 2 half from home). DH is in and out all the time: he's a teacher and we live in France where teachers don't have to stay in school unless they are actually teaching. So some days he is home all day, on others he's out for 8am start and not back until 6pm. He frequently works into the evening at home (le plus ça change right?). Ditto DS1 who's in high school - he comes and goes as he likes, his timetable changes week about, he has a busy social life. DS2 is in middle school - again every day is different start / finish time, he's home for lunch 2 days a week, and is on a week A / week B timetable. So no two days are the same, never mind the weeks. 🙄

None of us do organised sport / clubs / activities except DS1 who has a gym membership and organises himself to fit that in. DH and I cycle to work, but I really need to fit something else in for me - yoga, gym, whatever.

So if you are a super-organised, busy family with schedules all over the place , tell me how you do it! What tools do you use? We already use Google shared calendars, which are great for appointments but don't help me get an overall picture. I haven't been putting our working / school hours in because it's so variable each week, it would take ages. We resorted to a paper plan, one per week, printed out and stuck on the fridge, created after DH and I had a pow-wow on a Sunday afternoon for the week ahead. But it didn't stick as a habit. Probably we need to get back to doing that.

I remember this when my kids were teenagers - overnight, family meals became impossible to schedule. I think it's easiest to think of meals that can be batch cooked and cooked/heated in portions, so everyone eats the same thing. Lasagne, shepherdess pie, fish cakes are staples here. I still do this - put a portion of lasagne in a small pyrex dish and top with grated cheese, so it can be finished off in the airfryer.

Big bowl of undressed salad to go with cheese toasties that can be made in minutes or pizza that has been half cooked and then, again, can be finished in airfryer. I am for something not frozen in every meal, so even egg and chips seems OK with salad. But sometimes, it has to be something batch cooked, frozen and defrosted with frozen veg for latecomers.

We always used a paper household organiser with a column for each person. Breakfast and supper I sat down with the kids, DH was never home. Sunday was the day we all had lunch together. Kids were organised and self reliant. We treasured summer holidays together and the odd weekend break at the coast.

@Rocknrollstar

Yep I think the paper organiser, with each person having their own column, is the way to go. I'm going to clear all the crap off the front of the fridge and turn it into a 'family organisation station' a la Pinterest (though it won't look as good). And a dedicated weekly session to plan everything, from schedules to meals to anything unusual that's coming up.

Why isn’t dh doing a share of cooking?

@Cynderella I'm glad to hear it's not just me! A batch-cooked meal from the freezer, plus salad or frozen veg is pretty much all I am aiming for now, I can't even seem to get that going consistently through the week.

When do you cook? I probably need to dedicated a half-day each weekend to this though I'm finding it hard to motivate myself. Actually I just realised I'm finding it harder since my old 'kitchen' IPad died, and I can't watch tv while I cook - that used to be a really carrot to get me in the kitchen for a while, being able to watch my own programmes uninterrupted for a while.

@BitOutOfPractice because he works far longer hours than I do. He's a teacher, so on his 'long days' he's out of the house from 7am to 6pm. Then he works most evenings plus at least 1 or 2 half days at the weekend.

He doesn't have time to get into the nitty-gritty of meal planning, shopping, etc. If it's there and I tell him, he'll happily cook. And tbh I don't find the actual cooking part to be the problem - it's the planning, shopping, storing and preparing. We should probably meal plan more - if it's written on the fridge and the ingredients are there, he'll do it.

He does plenty of housework / laundry, that's where our division of labour is.

I cook on Saturday or Sunday most week - husband (retired) does all the cooking/reheating during the week. So, today, I will make a batch of fish cakes and some vegetable ones (bit like B's Eye crispy fingers). I'll whizz enough breadcrumbs to have some to freeze. Tomorrow, is pizza, and I'll make some individual ones plus a double batch of sauce, so I have that ready for lasagnes next weekend. That sort of thing.

My daughter bought us an Alexa Show for Christmas a couple of years ago - that lives in the kitchen.

I completely agree about the thinking and buying being hardest (becsuse that’s the bit I do 😂). And YY meal planning is 100% the biggest thing we do to be organised. Takes about 50% of the stress out if it I’d say. We also eat better when we meal plan.

I have 2 teenagers and one preteen. I work long hours in busy professional role.

Dh is self employed and works long hours too.

I have no real advice except get the children to be as independent as possible and learn to relax within chaos. 🙂

We are totally not organised …
we try it doesn’t happen it just makes us all stressed so we now just go with it.
I guess where youngest is now at secondary it’s easier done than with little ones.

I can’t say I’ve ever been organised.
school used to ring “child a hasn’t got the right shoes on come & collect them “ a couple times a week soon learnt I wouldn’t be coming back down the m25 from work for something so minor.

the kids soon learn if they forget something I’m not running home so it’s best to remember it.

as long as their fed , got to their sports clubs and the dogs walked their happy.

Give yourself a break x

Similar family setup here, although I'm the one working long days.

You need to standardise as much as you can.

So my standard things are:

Shopping delivered every 5-7 days
We mainly eat the same things as each other
Dishwasher on every night
Sunday meeting for me and DH
Daily super-early dog walk for me and DH

I meal plan to an extent... usually buy enough to make 3 fresh meals over 5-6 days, with other options for reheating, quick throw-together meals too. Then DH and I go day to day.

If you have a family planner make sure it's a fortnightly arrangement so you can always see this week and 'next week' At a glance.

We REALLY keep on top of laundry.

I keep running shopping list and a running home admin list.

We're a bit slovenly at cleaning

We work shift work here full time with a teen an 2 dogs and an allotment plus big garden . It takes great skill🤯
I have a shopping delivery every Sunday whether I’m on an early or late shift, I work the time around it.
I plan meals for the whole week and for the nights I’m not here, DH has super easy meal to put together for them as he cannot cook !
Everybody knows the dogs need walking as soon as home an feeding at 5.30pm.Aside from that the house is cleaned by whomever has the first day off after Sunday.
sounds very anal but with a variety of early /middle/late shifts by each of us, we have to be.
I’ve found tiredness gets the better of me more often now in peri so I’ve had to lower my standards and allow myself some downtime.massive calendar and am always one eye on week ahead with appointments etc.
Will definitely get harder now it’s Gcse year too.