Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Help me make my daughter’s dreams come true!!

144 replies

Dungeonsandwagons · 01/09/2023 23:25

My 8yr old is desperate to go to some far flung places, top of her list are America, Central America and Japan. I’m a single mum and I would LOVE to take her travelling and have adventures together. Currently we’ve only done European countries and I’m not dissing Spain etc but it’s not culturally massively different. She really wants to see something different.

However, I don’t have a never ending budget. Also as it’s me and her alone I don’t want to rough it too much / need to be aware of safety. Are there any tips on taking some more adventurous trips that satisfy her desire to see something different but that might not cost the earth?

any help appreciated!!!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
PinkRoses1245 · 02/09/2023 08:23

I wouldn’t bother with America if she specifically wants to go somewhere ‘different’. I’d agree with others about North Africa, and also consider Jordan - not too far to fly and one of my favourite places I’ve visited. Also look at Turkey, Bosnia, Serbia, other countries in that region. And Georgia! Those places should be cheaper to get there and whilst you’re there; than Japan or US.

Horriblewoman · 02/09/2023 08:26

Costa Rica was incredible and felt very safe as a lone female.

KenAdams · 02/09/2023 08:33

Iceland. Flights are reasonable and although everyone bangs on about it being expensive there are ways to make it affordable quite easily.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

PostOpOp · 02/09/2023 08:34

That travel blog is nice but there are two adults, one of whom is male. It's a reality that that impacts where they can go, even if only reducing some stress around it.

Far flung places/off the beaten track places are great, I've enjoyed my fair share, but it's a whole other ball game going as a single parent with a child/children. The sorts of things you have to think about are massively different.

If I go backpacking around Asia with my kids next summer holidays and I get a bad stomach bug, the diet where you're seeing stars and can't get off the toilet, who will be occupying and feeding my kids? If I'm alone, it's wretched, but at least I can just get in with being ill. If I was still with their dad and he was there, he could go out and get me supplies and take the kids somewhere. As a single parent, my kids are stuck in the (basic) hotel room with me. That's an entirely different situation.

People think travelling around is some nice pastime and it is, but if you're a single parent the responsibilities are absolutely massive in comparison to doing it alone in younger days, or with a second adult.

Ylvamoon · 02/09/2023 08:36

I would firmly stay within Europe, if that is all you can afford.

There are so many different places, cities, landscapes and people. All you need to do is change the way you travel!
Look for places away from the obvious tourist traps and you'll meet people and see places that are very different from the UK.

Also, let her have dreams it will enrich her life!
It took me over 30 years to travel to a place of my childhood dreams... I treasure this experience more than if I'd gone there as a 10, 11 or 12 year old!

mewkins · 02/09/2023 08:36

I like this thread too - thank you op. I also want to take my kids on some adventures and am on a budget! We watch Race across the world and I would love to take them across Canada (I did a shorter version when younger and loved it) so that's my plan and I'll take a good few years to save for it.
On a shoestring maybe look at home exchanges so that the main expense will be flights.

And closer to home you could make destinations more adventurous by setting budgets and modes of transport etc.

AnnaBegins · 02/09/2023 09:14

I would say go for it if you can afford it! Definitely recommend central and eastern Europe, somewhere like Slovakia or Romania is cheap to fly to and cheap cost of living whilst there, even accommodation. And it feels very different culturally.

Further afield, what about Scandinavia? Much closer than the Americas so flights are cheaper, and it's easy to travel as everyone speaks English.

I would also think Morocco is manageable, but I would go with Essaouira on the coast as there's much less hassling of tourists and the architecture is absolutely beautiful.

Random additional recommendation is Oman. It's amazing for kids, they love kids. Very safe, lovely people, feels exotic but isn't that far to fly. Not that expensive to eat out and food is quite simple so easy for kids. There's lots of exciting forts to explore, hot springs, camels, souks...

Riverlee · 02/09/2023 09:18

Nearer home, how about the Scottish isles. May not be ‘exotic’, but everyone who goes are impressed by them.

Also, Portmerion in North Wales is a bit different.

Meadowfly · 02/09/2023 09:23

I backpack with my dcs - they love it! But, having traveled in Asia / s. America myself, I wouldn’t consider further flung destinations till mid teens (which they now are). Several reasons;

  1. They need to be old enough to appreciate and remember it - just a waste otherwise!
  2. risk of me being ill / having an accident and them being alone. In Europe a family member could get to them and help quickly.
  3. their physical strength and resilience- need to carry bags, deal with getting on/off busy transport/ be uncomfortable. It’s exhausting at times! + you will get ill at some point and have bad days.
  4. there’s loads of amazing stuff to do in Europe
  5. they are learning independence and how to navigate cities/ transport
  6. safety- I don’t feel so vulnerable in Europe . Attitudes to women from men are not the same outside Europe. And of course COST! Mine also dream of Japan etc, I tell them to look up the price of flights etc!
  • is far too young to have your ‘dreams fulfilled’ - got to have some long term aims not just immediate gratification!! You are the adult, just tell her you hope to go further afield when she’s older!
RhymesWithTangerine · 02/09/2023 09:25

What is your budget?

VikingsandDragons · 02/09/2023 13:14

It strikes me all the places she wants to go are very expensive when there, not just to get to, which is something to consider. Is she open to other destinations?

I'd recommend you sign up to Jack's Flight Club, they do impartial and reliable alerts on good flight deals and sales. It's usually about £50 a year but if you want to pm me I have a code to get it to £35 plus a free month. Be open on where you go rather than looking for a specific place if possible, so we've been to Vancouver for under £250 per person, South Africa for £350, Bali for £420 (thoroughly recommend Bali for both culture, friendliness, accessibility but also it's insanely cheap, you can get a very nice hotel there for under £30 a night and realistically about £10 a night in the city. You can hire a driver for the day for about £25, I had plenty of meals out for under £2), New York for £180, Iceland for £45, Ireland for £8, Barcelona for £18, Morocco for £42, Singapore for £410 etc. Once you have flights head to trivago to see what accomodation is about as it's a screenscraper for all the big booking sites and it is worth considering the cost once you're there (so Vancouver was a great deal on flights but Jesus it was expensive to stay there, whereas Bali was more on flights but I spent less than £150 a week on all excursions and food and went out and about every single day on that, so once the flights were paid I could stay there nearly two weeks for what one days hotel, food and transport cost in Canada). Consider what you actually need in accomodation, so if you're going somewhere new and cultured to explore and just need it as a base to lay your head it's pointless getting the all singing and all dancing complex when the clean and friendly but with fewer facilities place will do fine. I'd also consider signing up to the Travelzoo top 20 email, because they sometimes have some exceptional last minute package type deals but they're rarely in school holidays.

Our kids have done long and short haul holidays this way since toddlers, and while I appreciate some think it's a waste before teens I think they got a lot out of it, they remember things they saw at age 3 or 4 nearly a decade later, some experiences have given them a much greater appreciation of the inequalities in the world (when we were sent to the 'expensive hospital for white people' in south africa when we thought our son had a broken arm, we had an assigned nurse, all xrays done and given to us on a disk, painkillers, no wait, a consultant checked in 3 times in 4 hours, and at the end we were presented with a bill for under £100. My eldest had a lot of questions at the time aged 5, but then used that experience for a school assignment at 11 and got a writing award for it) and some just really meant something to them like seeing their favourite animals in the wild, trying a special new food or odd things like the time we stumbled on a classical concert on the water where all the audience were in canoes!

If you have some disposible income then it's possible to travel and get a lot out of it with your daughter if you can put the time into finding a deal.

Meadowfly · 02/09/2023 13:58

Viking - were you doing this as a single parent though? It is so, so different doing it on your own with dcs and no other adult!

Dungeonsandwagons · 02/09/2023 21:05

Can you afford flights to these places? Or are you looking for cheaper but exciting destinations

probably the latter at this point 😞

OP posts:
Dungeonsandwagons · 02/09/2023 21:38

Thanks for all the Marrakesh tips, especially the accommodation recommendation, it’s a good idea.

I would remind you that she’s 8 and that you’re the adult here?! What an odd comment. She’s not demanding we go or harassing me. She’d just love to and I want to show her more of the world. I love spending time with her and showing her new places and cultures.

OP posts:
saveforthat · 02/09/2023 21:43

Lamelie · 02/09/2023 07:07

Marrakesh is fine. Very civilised and safe.

Yes, I was just coming on to say this. You could be attacked anywhere of course but I have never felt unsafe in Marrakech

SisterMichaelsHabit · 02/09/2023 21:46

partypompoms · 02/09/2023 07:03

What about WOOFING. You get put up for free bed and board but you do have to work whilst you are there. It could me milking goats, picking fruit.

We went to Greece and did the jobs above for 6 hours a day, five out of seven days. Lots of spare time and and totally immersed in a different culture.

The daughter is EIGHT! What are you proposing here, that organic farms worldwide will employ child labour, or that OP leaves her small child for 6-8 hours a day while she picks fruit for months on end instead of sending her child to school?

frisseaze · 02/09/2023 21:47

She's 8 years old. Tell her she needs to save up if she wants nice things - same as most of us. Honestly I would not be listening to an eight year old's "wants".

Dungeonsandwagons · 02/09/2023 21:48

Jordan is a great idea, and somewhere I’ve never been. Also Iceland, but I thought it was expensive.

To the person that said ‘change the way you travel in Europe’ this is good advice. I guess what holds me back is being a single parent and anxiety about coping. I probably need to get over that.

to those that asked about budget I don’t have anything specific in mind but I have decent disposable income for holidays. Not luxury but not backpacking!

OP posts:
Dungeonsandwagons · 02/09/2023 21:50

Honestly I would not be listening to an eight year old's "wants".

That’s sad. However, I do listen to my daughters dreams and hopes and if I can make them work I will. I’m not talking about going bankrupt to ‘satisfy her demands’ just asking for some travel tips. Good god!

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 02/09/2023 21:52

Have you considered Turkey OP? I don't usually recommend it but if you want something culturally different from Christianised nations but safe and not too expensive, Turkey could fit the bill! I'm not thinking one of their cheap beach holidays (beach hols are largely the same worldwide IMO) but a city break to Istanbul will have a lot of new experiences, different food, and lots of cultural things to do with interesting ruins and architecture.

If you haven't already been, I also recommend Rome and Athens for the sheer amount of stuff to see and do even though they're in Europe, you can't move for cultural stuff from a bygone world with a different outlook from Christianity.

Daveismyhero · 02/09/2023 22:05

RexWillKillYou · 02/09/2023 07:00

There is no way ai would encourage two females to go alone to Marrakech.

Why not? I've just returned from there and felt a lot safer there than I have in many places in the UK and America. The locals were polite and extremely respectful, I went to all of the major souks and never felt hassled. There are laws advocating for women's rights (look up the policies on argon oil) and they don't follow you if you don't want to buy their product. Every single interaction I had went like so;
Them "do you want to buy my product"
Me "no thank you"
Them "ok have a nice day"
I'd say it's an excellent and educational.place ro visit, I'd highly recommend it

Meadowfly · 02/09/2023 22:07

In your OP you said ‘travelling’ which implies multi-destination holidays / public transport / basic hotels etc (aka backpacking, even if you have a wheely suitcase). That is a very different thing to going to a place and spending a week in a hotel. Both great but quite different, the later being easier as a lone parent, but probably more expensive. I think this is why you’ve had some negative responses. Which is it you want to do? What does your daughter enjoy - museums, galleries, wildlife, mountains, walking, beaches …?

GarlicGrace · 02/09/2023 22:20

I'm with those saying you haven't done Europe if you think it's under-stimulating.

Has she been to Pompeii & Herculaneum, for instance?

Did you know you can get a ferry from the Roman city of Brindisi to the Greek port of Patras, from where you can catch a bus along the mountainous cliffs of Corinth to Athens? When I did this, dolphins accompanied our ferry and we went up the mountains to join a bunch of farmers roasting a goat.

Have you ever spent time up in the Alps or any other high mountains, with the people who live up there in ways largely unchanged for centuries. Learn to milk goats. Visit Basque country and stay underground. Join in Portuguese festivals that the whole town attends in traditional costume, dance traditional dances with them.

There's so much more. Head to the lands North-East of Greece and find increasingly unchanged ways of life, unfamiliar foods, astonishing histories. Go South a bit more to Turkey - Istanbul's essential, but what about the massive hinterlands too? It's a cradle of civilisation. So is Jordan.

The North African countries already mentioned, of course. And why not go North, to the Baltics, Russia and Finland? I'm gobsmacked that you imagine Europe & nearby regions to be samey and familiar!

Swipe left for the next trending thread