Cheating | Mumsnet

RexWillKillYou · 31/08/2023 06:26

Nope

Ffswtf · 31/08/2023 06:43

Possibly

Amberflowers · 31/08/2023 06:49

The better question would be “Did you take a cheater back?” It’s easy to say no to the theory but the reality of infidelity can be complicated.

I’d add that even with that question you’re not going to get a true range of responses because it’s easier to be proud of leaving than proud of staying (to clarify I’m not saying its easier to leave than to stay just that I think it’s easier to share one than the other).

booksandbrews · 31/08/2023 07:00

Amberflowers · 31/08/2023 06:49

The better question would be “Did you take a cheater back?” It’s easy to say no to the theory but the reality of infidelity can be complicated.

I’d add that even with that question you’re not going to get a true range of responses because it’s easier to be proud of leaving than proud of staying (to clarify I’m not saying its easier to leave than to stay just that I think it’s easier to share one than the other).

100% this. There’s absolutely no point asking people what they would hypothetically do because the reality could be entirely different. And yes, you won’t get a fair range of responses.

Happycow · 31/08/2023 07:06

After the first time, yes because i loved him so deeply.

After the second time, yes because i couldnt imagine my life without him.

After the third time, when id lived for years with the possibility of it happening again always there in the background nagging at me, and with our 2nd baby in my arms, no. He was out of the door then, for good.

GreyCarpet · 31/08/2023 07:09

No, I didn't and I wouldn't again.

It's a hard line for me and I'm worth more than that.

I don't think there's any virtue in staying with someone who doesn't respect you

Pidgythe2nd · 31/08/2023 07:12

My brother did the first time.

their lives became even more entwined with another child, mortgage etc.
She did it again and again and again…. Then he left.
Painful to leave but he’s so much happier now. He should never have gone back the first time but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Happycow · 31/08/2023 07:17

And following @greycarpet s comment, i should add that the period of time between the cheating episodes will be overshadowed by your self-esteem taking a significant hit, a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach everytime something 'out of routine' happens, and many hours laying awake in bed wondering.

These things dont happen daily, but often enough to be a firm feature in your life. Until it does happen again, which it will. And you need to either accept it AGAIN, meaning the above feelings will still be there, but amplified. Or you leave, now that the day you have thought about in an abstract way for so long has arrived.

RexWillKillYou · 31/08/2023 07:33

Amberflowers · 31/08/2023 06:49

The better question would be “Did you take a cheater back?” It’s easy to say no to the theory but the reality of infidelity can be complicated.

I’d add that even with that question you’re not going to get a true range of responses because it’s easier to be proud of leaving than proud of staying (to clarify I’m not saying its easier to leave than to stay just that I think it’s easier to share one than the other).

OK. I didn’t… I hypothetically would, but the disgusting egregious behaviour meant I couldn’t live with myself whilst I was living with him.

Waterweir · 31/08/2023 07:45

This is MN. Women are told to LTB. If a woman on here cheats, so many posters blame the man for being responsible for her cheating.
This was a recent thread. One poster did a rough count and noted that 75% of the posters told the cheating wife not to tell her husband but just to forget that it happened.

I’ve done a terrible thing www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/4875564-ive-done-a-terrible-thing

TheLoudLeader · 11/02/2024 18:59

Done it before twice and ended in heartbreak - so No !

There is absolutely no reason to cheat. And if anyone tries to defend the reason why they did it that’s even worse !