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Moving abroad... where?

75 replies

Fatmamslim · 30/08/2023 08:05

We are considering relocating abroad for a few years. Honestly I haven't done any thinking or research beyond these initial thoughts because I can't quite pin where, and I know each location will require its own heavy research. Honestly we just need a change.

I'd like to maybe do Finland, Or new Zealand maybe. Somewhere known for good quality of life, good health care and education.

We are a family of 4. One preteen and one under10. The preteen is holding us back in exploring further because moving during senior school years feels hugely disruptive, but if we wait for him to be finished the younger one will have started and I don't think we'll ever go...

Has anyone here move abroad.. did you end up staying? Did you come back? What was hardest about it all?

OP posts:
DarkWingDuck · 31/08/2023 11:16

I think you can overthink these things. Many people have listed all the practicalities you should think of but I often find that if you come from that approach you would never make any big decisions in life. Plus thinking about all those things can turn you into an obsessive wreck (which I assume is what you want to avoid).

Pick somewhere beautiful and just make it happen. Make mistakes, do things wrong and find your adventure. You will mess your kids up whatever…. Better that it be through adventure and action that boredom and inaction- in my opinion.

pilates · 31/08/2023 11:24

Are you sure you’re not on a holiday high op? It just seems a bit pie in the sky and not very well thought out but I admire your sense of adventure. I imagine you will get resistance from your older child.

Sourcherriesarebest · 31/08/2023 11:43

The first thing I would do is organise your lives so that you can do two weeks away somewhere at Easter and then the whole summer holidays there as well. That would give you something to look forward to and plan and the chance to experience a couple of months away with no commitment at all.

I don’t know if you’ve lived away before but culture shock and homesickness can be huge - not necessarily just for you, but for any of you.

Does your trade DH have the kind of skills where he could effectively renovate a whole house? There are tons of places in Europe where they are actually keen enough to have people come and do up abandoned homes. Totally different thing from hoovering up a local’s home in an overpopulated holiday town in my opinion.

Citygirlrurallife · 31/08/2023 11:51

I think digital nomad visa for a family gap year adventure sounds right up your street and actually for something like that your D.C. are a great age - old enough to gain something from it, young enough to not affect them educationally. Have an adventure for a year (my brother just went through the digital nomad requirements for Antigua) then come back ready to knuckle through the secondary school years.

we just came back from a decade in the states (D.C. 13 and 10 when we moved which I think was a little old but covid got in the way) and it just became same shit different bucket to be honest, properly moving abroad isn’t the big adventure it’s cracked up to be, you just carry on living your life

catnipevergreen · 31/08/2023 11:58

Your first step is to make sure you can get a job and a secured visa for you all to go there. Also do you what your children's to go to locks schools or international schools ? If international you'll need to factor in these costs. Then also costs of visa paperwork, initial set up costs etc. We've lived abroad for almost ten years now. We don't have any intentions of coming back to the UK for the foreseeable future.

Simonjt · 31/08/2023 17:42

We’ve just done this, well, I moved out on Saturday.

You need to think seriously about the types of visa available to you, our move has only been possible as my husband and children are citizens of the country we’ve moved to. If we weren’t despite being high earners with careers that transfer well, it would have been very hard to get a visa.

Education is a biggy, we just rushed our move so our son could start his new school on the first day of the year, so that means they moved out a while ago, while I’m still in the UK. I wouldn’t move a child after midway through year 9, as a result we have decided if we move back to the UK it is either then, or when our oldest is an adult as our daughter would only be very early secondary age.

Language, my husband and our children are all fluent in Sweden, well, the toddler isn’t, and I’m not too shoddy either, so language won’t limit us where work is concerned.

Housing, can you buy, or will you have to rent and then uproot the family just as you’ve settled in to buy somewhere? Will you keep and rent out your UK home, or sell it?

TomPinch · 31/08/2023 19:40

mbosnz,

My impression is that NZ schools really suffered during the 2008-2017 National government and have not recovered since.

NewLifeHappyLife · 31/08/2023 19:57

Simonjt · 31/08/2023 17:42

We’ve just done this, well, I moved out on Saturday.

You need to think seriously about the types of visa available to you, our move has only been possible as my husband and children are citizens of the country we’ve moved to. If we weren’t despite being high earners with careers that transfer well, it would have been very hard to get a visa.

Education is a biggy, we just rushed our move so our son could start his new school on the first day of the year, so that means they moved out a while ago, while I’m still in the UK. I wouldn’t move a child after midway through year 9, as a result we have decided if we move back to the UK it is either then, or when our oldest is an adult as our daughter would only be very early secondary age.

Language, my husband and our children are all fluent in Sweden, well, the toddler isn’t, and I’m not too shoddy either, so language won’t limit us where work is concerned.

Housing, can you buy, or will you have to rent and then uproot the family just as you’ve settled in to buy somewhere? Will you keep and rent out your UK home, or sell it?

Oh you are in Sweden? I am very envious and would love to know more of your new life (not to derail the OP thread though).

This thread has led to me and DH discussing the idea of a family gap year etc. Plus looking at nomad visas. So thank you OP for the thread... Smile

user1471447924 · 31/08/2023 20:02

If anyone in your family has any medical conditions (including mental health) or disabilities you can rule NZ or Australia out straight away, you won’t be allowed a visa.

marcopront · 31/08/2023 20:02

@DarkWingDuck

Pick somewhere beautiful and just make it happen.

How do you make getting a visa happen?

DarkWingDuck · 31/08/2023 20:17

OP has a remote job so a nomad visa could be an option, but anyone could do any number of things to increase their likelihood of getting a visa for somewhere.

gogomoto · 31/08/2023 20:24

I've looked into nomad visas, generally you need double the local average income and to have private healthcare, sometimes privately school and partners generally can't work unless digital nomads too. Portugal looked promising - though a lot depends on your company

Simonjt · 31/08/2023 21:30

NewLifeHappyLife · 31/08/2023 19:57

Oh you are in Sweden? I am very envious and would love to know more of your new life (not to derail the OP thread though).

This thread has led to me and DH discussing the idea of a family gap year etc. Plus looking at nomad visas. So thank you OP for the thread... Smile

Yes we are 😊

6monthsto50 · 31/08/2023 21:38

I don’t regret living abroad when my child was 3 to 9 years it was a great experience. I don’t regret moving back to the UK either. If you have an itch and can scratch it I would say go for it.

Crikeyalmighty · 31/08/2023 21:48

@marcopront exactly- all fine and dandy if you don't need to work(or at least not legally) - and you can't do more than 3 months anywhere (in the case of the EU - it's the whole area) without visas so would have to keep moving on. It's really not just a case of thinking 'oh I fancy going there- let's go' -

simonell · 31/08/2023 22:31

Gibraltar?

Sleepepeeepe · 31/08/2023 23:17

We did a family gap year if anyone has any questions! That’s why I suggested it upthread.

Our children were younger (six and under) and it was expensive, but genuinely magical. Lots of logistical difficult things (what to do with housing in the uk, how to manage work, education, etc) and coming back was quite awful.

But I would do it again in a heartbeat - if we could afford it!

bert3400 · 31/08/2023 23:27

I haven't read the whole thread ...sorry its late and I'm off to Ibiza at 5am 🥳

You really need to work out what you want from you new life living abroad and whether you meet the visa criteria.

We moved to Spain 3.5 years ago. We work remotely and have a very good income (essential) . Our DS was 11 - going into yr7 . We picked the area due to schools ... international schools - this should be your first priority when you have narrowed down your country

minipie · 31/08/2023 23:48

DH and I have similar feelings to you OP but instead of uprooting the DC we are vaguely planning to retire abroad or semi abroad (might have smaller places both here and abroad) once they are adults. I may be able to acquire an EU passport but if not we will use golden visa or retirement visa schemes. It’s a long way off, our kids are even younger than yours, and who knows if it will ever come to pass but it keeps me happy to tinker away at the future plan.

I can guarantee our kids would be a hard no to any idea of moving now. One doesn’t do well with any kind of change and they both love their current school, friends etc - oh and they have zero language skills!

Fooksticks · 31/08/2023 23:54

Dh and I moved to the UK pre DC. Stayed for 10 years, had both DC there. We we're quite settled, or so I thought, and couldn't see how we'd move away.

But we got an opportunity to move to my home country (Aus) when DC were nearly 8 and 3.

Dd1 moved schools twice in Aus and was then put up a grade but she has coped fine. Most DC really are ok with change!

Quality of life for us here is so much better. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.

junbean · 01/09/2023 04:39

You should pinpoint your “whys”. What are you looking for exactly? I’m planning a move overseas and I narrowed down my list by reasons. I’m in the US so I’m looking at countries with little wildfire risk, no gun violence, and nice temps. That really, really narrowed it down. I’m a research nut so I have been looking up the temperature in different places, especially with the heatwaves this summer. I went to youtube and found info from channels in the places I was considering. I looked up visa requirements, all the legal stuff. I think I found the perfect place, but we’re going to Airbnb for awhile in different areas to see how it feels in person before I commit. I wouldn’t worry about kids and language- they pick it up so fast. I have lots of friends who moved to another country with kids and they fit in very quickly. It’s so much easier to learn when young too. So if I were you, I’d decide what my non-negotiable needs are, and then start narrowing it down from there. Try to think of problems you might face, like civil rights, religion, food, dress, friendliness, etc. Think outside the box too, maybe slow travel across several countries would work better. Youtube is amazing for this kind of research.

Layinwait · 01/09/2023 11:38

Pick somewhere beautiful and just make it happen.

@DarkWingDuck you can’t be serious in that suggestion when there are tween and teen children involved. Surely?

Crikeyalmighty · 01/09/2023 11:43

@junbean are you American? If so US is on priority immigration list for plenty of countries, Uk is not

mbosnz · 01/09/2023 11:52

Funnily enough, I had kids in NZ schools from 2008 to 2017! Running the full gammet of primary, intermediate, and Secondary.

National (as with their equivalent of the Tories over here), is not particularly school or teacher friendly.

And of course, we had a series of natural disasters, particularly in Christchurch, which severely impacted schools, and was used as an opportunity by National to close and amalgamate schools not in their favoured areas.

However, schools in my experience (I was on the Board of Trustees at one of them), and in my kids experience (who have also experienced secondary comp' over here, is that the facilities are nowhere near as run down, poorly equipped, and limited in space and playing fields.

Personally, because my kids are academically inclined, they have thrived under the very challenging and demanding UK curriculum. However, both they and we have observed a complete lack of regard for the students as human beings, particularly with health challenges, either mental or physical. That pressure is applied by the DofE and Ofstead, with the school's forced to push it down to the students and their parents.

Culturally, in NZ, schools tend to be a lot more laid back, with a lot more emphasis on things other than academics, such as sport, cultural opportunities, such as kapa haka, etc.

Which is not to say that like the UK, schools and kids aren't teeming with mental and physical health issues in NZ, far too often unaddressed.

There is also institutional racism in schools, which exacerbates a very bad tail of poor performance academically, for Maori and Pasifika students, which in turn, skews international educational performance.

meatbaseddessert · 01/09/2023 12:25

Trixie239 · 31/08/2023 09:55

If you want good quality education/health, do NOT go to NZ. Lowest levels of literacy and numeracy in the OECD, and if you need healthcare you're looking at a 2 week wait to see a gp or a minimum of 16+ hours waiting in a&e. Go to a Scandinavian country if those are your priorities.

Whut? I've been able to see a GP the same day (within a couple of hours actually) in NZ every time I've needed to in the past 7 years of living in NZ.

Definitely not my experience in 20 years in London.

No idea about schools as I don't have kids but most people and children here seem to be able to function. In fact they seem to able function better. They spend a lot of time doing community work, outdoor sports and play, beach exploring, growing food...

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