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Original poster

Suicidal friend

6 replies

FunnysInLaJardin · 29/08/2023 22:43

How do I deal with this? A woman at work is in the midst of having one of many breakdowns since I have known her in the last couple of years and I don’t know how to deal with it.

She is lovely and we get along really well but I’m not sure I can cope with her mental health episodes.

I want to be a good friend, but it’s so difficult.

FWIW my sister was suicidal on many occasions and I didn’t know how to deal with that either

OP posts:
Gooseysgirl · 29/08/2023 23:26

Papyrus are excellent - have a look on their website!

CalistoNoSolo · 30/08/2023 04:48

No.practical advice but best wishes to you and your friend xx

rubydoobydoo · 30/08/2023 04:57

Does she have any professional support and is a regular thing or is she struggling particularly at the moment?

There are 24 hour mental health crisis lines you can direct her to but I think it depends where in the country you live.

Fraaahnces · 30/08/2023 05:01

I’m going with the oxygen mask on a plane theory. You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first. Sometimes the only thing you can do is to refer them to professionals, advise HR that it’s affecting YOUR MH and work quality, or call the police if you think she’s genuine.

AngelaoftheNorth · 30/08/2023 07:06

Fraaahnces · 30/08/2023 05:01

I’m going with the oxygen mask on a plane theory. You can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first. Sometimes the only thing you can do is to refer them to professionals, advise HR that it’s affecting YOUR MH and work quality, or call the police if you think she’s genuine.

Even as someone who has at times felt suicidal herself and leaned (far too) heavily on friends, I'd very much endorse this. Supporting suicidal people is very, very stressful, draining, painful... and unless you yourself are coping and have the support you need, you won't be sufficient help to her.

Do not be afraid to set your limits (eg no phone calls or messages after 9pm, don't talk to me about your traumatic/triggering-to-me life event, if you call me from the bridge I will dial 999 immediately) and be calm and consistent about sticking to them.

And please, look for the support or help or advice you need for yourself.

Original poster
FunnysInLaJardin · 30/08/2023 10:02

Thanks all for your help.

I do think I need to take a step back for my own sake. She has plenty of support and has been to the doctors etc.

DH is recovering from a very difficult period mental health wise, which I have been supporting him with. Now he is on an even keel, I don't think I have the energy to support another person

OP posts:
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