Tell me it gets easier

[newmum2be94]

I want to give up today. I want to throw in the towel. I want somebody to swoop in and tell me to go and take a hot bath and read a book and have a hot drink and wear nice clothes and put on make up while they look after my kids.

I have two boys, my eldest has just turned 3 and my youngest 7 months. My fiancé works full time to provide for us, my in-laws live 167 miles away, my parents work full time both day and night shifts.

I'm potty training my 3 year old and recently he's been doing great until he hasn't, he started having accidents everywhere and today I reached give up mode when he poo'd on his bedroom rug then stepped in it.

Raising two children, cleaning and maintaining the household, food shops, errands, wedding planning (getting married in November this year) etc. I am so drained, exhausted. Some days I dread getting out of bed to do it all over again. I have a doctors appointment on Thursday but as I have no childcare I have to take my children with me.

Can somebody please tell me it gets easier? That I'm doing a good job? That I can do this??

What's your fiancé doing when he's at home?

Is he expecting you to do ALL the domestic stuff or pitching in properly?

That's part of being a parent,not going to sugar coat anything unfortunately.

It does get better I promise. And it doesn’t matter or make u a bad mother when ur struggling. The ages u have are hard ages. But. When they are a bit older u get the more chatty , being able to do things side

in regards to toilet training one day it will just click. Until that time accidents will happen. I have toilet trained hundreds of children. And then when I did my own he went in his pants and on the floor all the time.

You are in the hard yards, you really are.

Yes, it will get better.
Yes, you will sleep again.
Yes, you will find time for gym/knitting/ whatever you like to do.
Yes, they will entertain themselves together while you surf MN or have a hot cuppa (but only for 10 mins).

Don't worry about the potty training. Give yourselves a break & try again in a few weeks. They won't do it until they're really ready, he's done great on the first try.

It does get easier, I promise. It might not seem like it.

I remember a mantra from lockdown: "everyone's fed, no one's dead"

I don't mean that literally - but tomorrow is a new day.

Would you be able to stretch to a cleaner? Maybe a day at nursery for your oldest?

I feel your pain I have 13 year old 7, 6 and 1 and half year old and I have days like this where I am so stressed out when your trying to clean up and do everything if I was you I'd just put a nappy on your 3 year old or pants even, give him something to amuse him for a bit maybe a bowl of snack he can sit and watch the tv whilst you just get yourself together put baby in his bouncer and just take 10-20 minutes for yourself, x

When he gets in front work he'll play with our children while I cook dinner, then he does their bedtimes and then cleans up the kitchen. After he goes for a run or workout. On the weekends he'll get up with the children so I can get some extra sleep but in terms of house work/errands/ taking the children out he won't do it unless I ask him

I know, but sometimes a little encouragement for the hard days goes a long way

Thank you for this. I feel no shame in admitting I have days where I doubt my abilities as a mum so a little boost like this goes a long way.

It gets better and when they grow up they buy you gin for Mother's Day!

Arrange to split the evenings so you get a run or workout too. Or whatever else you want to do.

Thank you. It really does feel like the days never end but then I try to remind myself that I got through the baby stage with my 3 year old, yes there are still challenges but he talks so much, he feeds himself, he tells me what he needs, he likes to (almost) dress himself etc. It's easy to forget all the process you've made as a parent when you're having a tough day.

and I feel getting up getting kids dressed and doing your own hair and make up makes you feel so much better and have more energy I tend to have days where I'm just in my lounge clothes cleaning up all day but I know when I take that time to get myself ready I feel so much better, and don't focus all day on getting the house clean it's much easier to clean up for the hour or 2 after you've put the kids to bed other wise your just drained just tell yourself to chill out now and then on the sofa remember your not in a rush for anybody today I left the house work for half an hour made a cup of tea and watched eastEnders on catch up and it felt good! Instead of running around all day

Yes, it does get easier and it will be easier to carve out bits of time for you to put make up on or wear nice clothes. Even if you only get to play with make up once the children in bed at first, your time is coming.

I also took from the poop incident, at least it wasn't on carpet so you can chuck the rug if its unsalvageable. That's a win in my eyes. I was in absolute despair when toilet training. I had to get new carpets in the end.