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Original poster

What age is old and elderly?

140 replies

peasandpetals · 29/08/2023 14:43

Just curious.
What age do you class as old?
As elderly?
Are they the same thing?
I ask as I'm unable to gauge what I am.
I'd love to know your age and your assessment.
Just a bit of fun.

OP posts:
Iwasafool · 29/08/2023 17:09

Problesolving · 29/08/2023 15:32

I always think of old as an age, although as I get older this number gets bigger! Elderly I have always thought of a more of a reflection of someone’s health and mobility.

I think that sums it up well.

User174398521 · 29/08/2023 17:12

Elderly about 85+
Old about 70+

A lot of my favourite artists are between 70 and 82 and I wouldn't call them elderly but they are old.

I'm nearly old

enchantedsquirrelwood · 29/08/2023 17:15

I always laugh that the Saga age is 50 (maybe 55?) I guess they are catering to wealthy early retirees.

I think over 80 is elderly, but that doesn't mean that someone is infirm or doesn't have a full life - it's just more likely that age will start to catch up with you then - and 80 is a long time to have lived.

I think middle age begins when you need reading glasses. I needed to put some on to thread a needle today ;)

It's more of an attitude than an age though. DH says his paternal grandparents seemed old when he went to visit them - blankets over knees, complaining about draughts etc and they were in their 60s. His maternal grandparents were both healthy until they both had strokes in their early 90s.

Iwasafool · 29/08/2023 17:17

I slipped and broke a bone, not due to age but due to a dodgy bit of carpet on a step. Physio was clear that if I was one of the teenagers in the football team he trained I would have finished physio several weeks earlier than I did but that I had finished earlier than estimated for someone my age, 68 at the time.

I suppose all sorts of age markers will vary.

Cornettoninja · 29/08/2023 17:17

Cynicaltheorist · 29/08/2023 16:53

I was involved in an accident in which I was knocked over by someone else while playing tennis and ended up in A&E because of concerns about concussion. I got the full 'How many falls have you had in the last six months, Barbara?' set of questions. I volunteered to stand on one leg for two minutes if that would set their minds at rest (I've done yoga and pilates for the last 15 years). I know they've got to do it but hell, when HCPs are in their 30s it can leave you wondering if they think anyone over 60 is old.

Medically speaking though 60+ is when you start seeing a lot more going wrong with bodily functions in the population. Spotting and supporting early before it becomes a huge irreversible problem prolongs good health.

I once worked with a dermatologist who took great delight in telling me that skin is only designed to last 30 years at peak performance. Everything after is down hill. Grin

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 17:27

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Timeturnerplease · 29/08/2023 17:29

My dad has just turned 70 and is looking forward to his advanced off piste skiing holiday this winter, plus his cycling trip from St Malo to Nice. He and his lady friend are currently somewhere up a scaffold, painting the brickwork on his extension because he didn’t want to ‘waste money’ paying the contractors to do it. Last week I found him repeatedly diving to the bottom of his pool to try and locate lost tiles, then hanging under the diving board to tighten it.

If that’s what old looks like then I’ll be happy to get there!

My mum, however, is 62 and has a list of ailments as long as her arm. Maybe old is a state of mind, and elderly is your body catching up with you?

Katmai · 29/08/2023 17:34

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I do not want to be called 'cis' any more than I want to be called 'old' thanks all the same. I will not tolerate being labelled as 'old' just because you say so.

I will be the judge of when to start calling myself old. I don't need you or anyone else to make that judgement on my behalf.

Applesaarenttheonlyfruit · 29/08/2023 17:35

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I don’t think I’m pretending to be young, but I’m not going to accept that my advancing years will stop me doing stuff. I’ve loved going up an age category for my running as I’m now regional level without getting any faster.

blacksax · 29/08/2023 17:39

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How very patronising.

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 17:39

Sure Katmai. You can say that you’re not old at 80 or whatever because you’re happy to deny biological reality and you don’t “feel” old. And I’m entitled to think that, despite your inner belief, that you are old.

BarelyLiterate · 29/08/2023 17:40

Depends on the person, their personality & their health. Some people are old at 60, with various debilitating aliments, many caused by lifestyle factors, eg obesity, diabetes, smoking.
Others are active & fit as fiddles in their 80s, getting out & about, participating in society, busy with their hobbies, exercising etc.

Katmai · 29/08/2023 17:44

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 17:39

Sure Katmai. You can say that you’re not old at 80 or whatever because you’re happy to deny biological reality and you don’t “feel” old. And I’m entitled to think that, despite your inner belief, that you are old.

But I'm not 80. I've some way to go yet. And I'll damn well decide when to think about leaving middle age behind and start being 'old'. I will not accept somebody looking at a calendar and taking that decision for me.

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 17:48

How so Blacksax? Being old is a neutral statement about how many years you’ve been alive for and is not a judgement about your physical prowess as many people seem to think. The “I’m not old because I can do x,y and z” is a very ageist statement. We all get older - it’s a fact of life and pretending that someone over 70 is not old because they don’t feel old is as daft as a man feeling like a woman because he feels feminine.

Dandelion7 · 29/08/2023 17:52

I've had a patient who was 103. I didn't believe her! I wouldn't class her as elderly at all, she was fit as a fiddle. Does seem it's a state of mind. My grandparents were elderly and retired in their 50s! Old, I'd say usually 80+, but again, state of mind/health dependent.

sadaboutmycat · 29/08/2023 17:53

I'm 60 and got guessed at 42 at an event this weekend! So am I middle aged? Dunno.
It's all in the mind IMO.

blacksax · 29/08/2023 17:53

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 17:48

How so Blacksax? Being old is a neutral statement about how many years you’ve been alive for and is not a judgement about your physical prowess as many people seem to think. The “I’m not old because I can do x,y and z” is a very ageist statement. We all get older - it’s a fact of life and pretending that someone over 70 is not old because they don’t feel old is as daft as a man feeling like a woman because he feels feminine.

You don't get it, do you?

How would you like someone to look at you and go 'Oh, look at that fat lady over there'? It might be true, you might be somewhat overweight, but you probably wouldn't appreciate being labelled as fat by some random stranger. Especially, if as far as you are concerned, you are not quite large enough to be called fat.

sadaboutmycat · 29/08/2023 17:54

notprincehamlet · 29/08/2023 15:19

Old is probably more of a state of mind and very individual
In Only Murders in the Building, when discussing how to talk with young people, the 'olds' Oliver and Charles say that Mabel (who is 29) has 'old lady energy'. Made me laugh.
As you were.

Utterly off topic, but is it good?? I have toyed with watching it but not committed yet!
My 12hp Dgd has Old Lady Energy- loves a cuppa and a scone and a read of her book!

Katmai · 29/08/2023 17:55

We aren't denying biology and saying there's no such thing as 'old'.

We are saying that we find being called 'old' offensive if we do not yet consider ourselves to be old.

Marchmount · 29/08/2023 18:06

Just because you ( and I don’t mean you personally as I don’t know how old you are) don’t consider yourself old doesn’t change reality.

I can think of myself as slim but that doesn’t mean that I actually am. We’re talking in generalities and people on mumsnet take it really personally. It’d be like a thread about being fat and a 25 stone person said that 25 stone isn’t fat because they personally don’t feel fat.

Being old shouldn’t be used as an insult - it’s a neutral term to describe a phase in someone’s life. Like being a child.

Dymaxion · 29/08/2023 18:11

If you fall over for any reason and someone describes it as 'having a fall' ?

Honestly though there is age and there is frailty, being old doesn't mean you will be frail.

notprincehamlet · 29/08/2023 18:12

Utterly off topic, but is it good??
It's just brilliant @sadaboutmycat - the plot is wonderfully cheesy and the characters (and cast) are fabulous. Definitely worth a look!

DrCoconut · 29/08/2023 18:13

I saw one of those "weren't the old days great" things on Facebook a couple of weeks ago claiming that people who grew up in the 80s are among the elderly Confused Outside of health issues which no one can help, it's definitely a mindset. Some people seem to relish being "old" and others are off doing all sorts.

Empresstea · 29/08/2023 18:22

Hbh17 · 29/08/2023 15:36

I'm 58 and very happy to describe myself as old, because that is what I am. I have already lived the vast majority of my life, and could kick the bucket at any time.
But "elderly" implies frailty and losing one's faculties (rightly or wrongly), so I don't think that applies to me yet.

Jeez speak for yourself! I'm 58 and am an ultra runner in my spare time! Feel fit, happy and so young in my mind, unimaginable to call oneself old at 58! 😵‍💫