3 year old won't eat proper meals

[Galaxy2846]

Hi all

During lunch and dinner dd will only eat the fruit/couple of spoons of green peas. She will not eat the main thing i.e. Pasta, Chicken, Rice, Sandwich. She will take one bite and hold it in her mouth. The other day it took her 2 hours to eat half a sandwich

We have tried to make it exciting but again, she's only interested in the fruit. She does eat a couple of bites of cheese, and a yoghurt and that's it

I'm so worried because this is something that happens every few months and lasts a week or 2, and each time we contact HV but the advice is to keep offering. This time it's lasted the whole summer and the advice was to get her weighed and go from there

In the meantime I don't know what to do. We give her a multivitamin, we keep offering her food but she doesn't want it.

Yesterday for lunch she had 1 apple, 2 bites of cheese, 1 yoghurt tube and that's it. Today she's had half an apple, didn't touch the chicken

Any advice on how we can manage this?

What's her snacking like? With my kids there is one morning snack, 1 afternoon one and that's it. Any more than that and they're not hungry enough for their meals and it would be bad for their teeth.

Would she be more receptive eating on a picnic blanket In the living room?

Is she underweight? If not I wouldn't worry too much as she's obviously getting the calories she needs.

I used to put the meal down and give it about 20 minutes then just take the plate away if they were messing around with it.

They grew out of it. I don't believe in making a big issue out of food as I think it contributes to eating disorders later on in life but thats just my thoughts, not scientific evidence lol.

Would she eat beans as she likes peas etc? That way you may be able to give chickpeas, broad beans, edamame beans etc (may not want baked beans as sounds like has a preference towards dry fruit/salad)

That would assist with the protein and if you can get her started with something like that you can begin to make a salad with it with small cut meat or something in time also. If eating any cereal in the morning that will give fibre and carbs - having it dry isn't the end of the world either mine has dry cereal and a cup of milk

She's slightly underweight and the HV put it down to genetics as she just has a small frame. We are taking her to get weighed next week

We will try the picnic blanket and make it as fun as we can. I think the fact that she's already underweight is worrying us even more

She has weetabix in the morning without issues as she likes it completely mashed so just swallows it

Then she has a banana as a snack

Then round to lunch, where as mentioned she will just pick up the fruit/cucumber/carrots and ignore the main food

Ill be honest with lunch, we have tried to sit there as long as we can and it has taken up to 2 hours which has left no time for other snacks so then its just dinner after that where the same thing happens again

HV advised not to offer anything else including snacks till the next mealtime. We are at a loss

I have a (just) 4 year old who often seems to survive on air. Like a PP, we have a time limit for meals because otherwise it just becomes stressful. My main goal is reduce the stress/anxiety/need for control around eating. I put food in front of DS and he eats what he wants. He's pretty slim but perfectly healthy.

Is it that she prefers small picky foods rather than a big "main" it that makes sense?

Would she eat fish fingers or chicken cut up or maybe cheese on toast cut into small bite size squares?

I don't have any other advice but hope you find a solution soon x

Are you giving all of the food together? Or giving the sandwich, waiting, then offering fruit/ yoghurt etc?

When she is going thru that phase I would forget about meals and just offer a range of small things on a plate roughly of some nutritional value. I have a 12 year old who still eats like that. I just call it a buffet and let it go. He has sensory issues around food though.

Hi OP

My wee one can be funny with food, but she's just under 2 so still quite young yet. It's swings and roundabouts really - on Saturday at tea time, she had pasta bolognese and nearly finished it all (just left a couple of spoonfulls of mince) then Sunday tea time, she only had about 5 spoonfuls (if that) of homemade soup with bread soaked in it (she'd had a full bowl of it the day before for her lunch as well!)
I spoke with my auntie and uncle recently and they said my cousin used to be like this - they were really concerned that she wasn't eating much, but was generally happy in herself. They took her to the doctor and the doctor just said she would eat when she's hungry and not to stress about it too much. She was (and still is) absolutely fine - now in her 40s.

My DS is now almost 6 but has always been a terrible eater, but much better in the last year since starting school. I‘m sure he spent the first 4 years eating chicken dippers, smiley faces and plain pasta. But I remember it being so frustrating and it was a battle I was never going to win. Some kids like to experiment with food early on, others take a lot longer.

If you are worried about her weight, could you give her weetabix at other mealtimes - at least then she is getting the calories? Sorry to not have better advice but as a mum to a fussy eater, it does get better xx

So we have a bento box that has 3 compartments, it stacks on top of each other. We put the main bit on the top, then fruit in the middle, and then the yoghurt/drink in the last one

We try to tell her to finish the 1st bit before going onto the 2nd bit but now she just opens it all up so all the food is there together and she picks what she wants

I think we will do the same with the time limit now because I do feel we are not helping the situation because she can tell we are worried/stressed

Unless she's underweight / there's medical concern, I'd really not worry. Just offering a range of small bits, I wouldn't divide things up or try to give different 'courses'. Are you all eating together? If not, I would, and really take the pressure off her by having discussions, playing games etc. She'll sense if you're there stressing and focusing on her not eating.

Thank you all for your suggestions. We will make up the dinner of smaller more healthier things rather than focus on the main thing as that is what she will eat and yes maybe even offer weetabix at other times so she's getting something atleast

@Peony654 you're right, we need to distract with other conversations as right now it's "please chew your food, come on" every few mins which probably doesn't help

We don't eat together at the moment, we will start to do that too. Feeling a little more hopeful reading suggestions too

Thank you all x

Could be worth following SR Nutrition on Instagram - she has a specific blog/posts about fussy eating, and how to encourage children to try more. The key (as far as I understand it) is exposure - little bits of different food, if they don't eat much, don't stress (too much) - appetites at this age go up and down faster than a yo-yo.

Eating together, role modelling works wonders with us - and not paying attention or focussing on specific foods on the plate e.g. "why not try your broccoli?" - we have general conversations about our day and let our 3 year old pick and choose. He's an absolute gannet though.

We also have a Tripp Trapp, and find that if we allow a bit of flexibility around sitting at the table, so letting him wander off and inevitably he comes back gives him this sense of independence around food/meal times.

I think I read that you multiply their age by 3 minutes, that's how long they can feasibly sit for before getting bored and don't eat any more or in our case get extremely stroppy.

Mine was like this until around 3, especially with dinner. He'd eat a big breakfast, smaller lunch and then almost nothing for dinner, and definitely not 'proper' food (pasta, rice, potato dish etc). He's grown out of it now at 4.5, though it does still wax and wane and some days all he'll eat is Weetabix and cucumber.

I remember the first time I put a plate of noodles in front of him and he actually ate them! I was trying to not make a big deal of it but inwardly rejoicing 😁

What does she drink in a day? A friends child still drank a lot of milk at that age and had very little interest in food but was getting enough calories through milk. They had to cut back the milk to enable them to be more hungry to eat more.

Could you look at picture books whilst sitting at the table do the focus isn’t only on food for you both?

Sorry if this is a repeat - I've not read all replies.

I have a three year old. She has no morning snack, and then in the afternoon I will give a piece of fruit.

At dinner, we found she was overfaced if there was too much on her plate, so now we give her a plate with the "protein" on and nothing else, and then once she's had a good go at that, we then say "oh there's some potatoes" and offer that. We've found she eats a lot more meat and other stuff when there's only one thing on her plate at a time.

I would also say that don't worry about what order she eats things in.. let her pick at what takes her fancy second by second. She might well be over-faced as pps have suggested.

Fir my much older pre-teen i have to supplement his food with chocolate complan which i make into milkshakes. You are not at that stage yet but it is worth if you continue being worried as she gets older to run that by a paediatric dietician.

Definitely don't make it a battle
Lots of bits to Puck at.
Be really enthusiastic yourself but try not to give her attention eg oh my this chicken is delicious.
Table t or TV if necessary. Distracted