Are there others who feel their lives ( or their way of being) is just not the same since lockdown?

[BigButtons]

I am a key worker so worked during all lockdowns. But something has changed in me. I have not got that desire back to actually go and do things other than the mundane stuff.
I imagined simply going back to normal once everything reopened- but, in reality, I just haven’t.
I have had a lot of stress these last 2 years, mum died after long illness - other family issues and bought a house this month.
i feel like my world has closed in and I have lost all confident and get up and go.
many one else struggling?
my partner is also flat as a pancake and I do feel I am pulled down by his lethargy.
I need to kick myself up the arse.

I think wfh has been disastrous for many - there's no need to get properly dressed, travel in to work etc, so the separation of work and home has become too blurred. There's no escape from work when it's taking place in your spare room! Also a lot of businesses are effectively ending their working day by around 4.30, so everything feels too dead by tea time. Plus some places are still using Covid and the aftermath as a reason to provide a lesser service. It's like the country has just given up. Even going to a restaurant, everyone is closing up by 10.30!

It is hard to feel motivated a lot if the time - there's a sense that people are just going through the motions and cba with anything.

I feel my world has become smaller. Socially I don’t feel the need to reach out as much and just keep to the same people which has made me a bad friend to friends I see less frequently. I feel a lot more flat. Also had major problems within my extended family which we won’t ever get over which is incredibly sad, so I’m not sure if that’s also had an impact. I feel very bruised at the moment and hope that becoming more normal again happens soon.

i also feel that covid and lockdowns changed me. Myself and husband run business together and have been happy to dutifully pay our taxes for decades. Lockdown shut our business and there was no income support from gvt. I felt so abandoned and betrayed. We Diversified and worked ourselves to exhaustion to keep afloat while all our staff were safely furloughed. When they came back, they had really changed and basically cba to make any effort whatsoever at work That hurt.

Ds has special needs and school gave him absolutely zero support. Even when I told them he was talking about suicide no response.
We all had covid. Dh was worryingly sick but fortunately recovered. I was left with hearing loss and tinnitus. Ds sense of taste was affected and he couldn’t eat any proper food for almost a year he lived on protein bars. Lost loads of weight and felt terrible all the time - even worse for a child with SN. This was in the run up to his GCSEs. F-in-law was very sick throughout and eventually died in the first week of ds’ gcses. We all got covid at the funeral so ds had to miss some exams. Even when all this shit was going down my employees let me down badly yet again.
We were always very comfortable financially but it will take us a decade to get back to where we were and business is tougher than ever due to cost of living/inflation.
I always used to see the best in others and believed that people were all intrinsically kind and considerate. But I saw so much selfishness and complete lack of empathy from people during that time. It’s hard to trust anyone. So basically I’m a lot more cynical, a lot less trusting in the state and other people.

💐for all of those who struggled with or lost someone during lockdown and are still feeling the effects of it. I didn't have a bad lockdown but I have noticed that I am not the same person as I was before. I seem to be unable to commit to things and shy away from wanting to organise anything. Before lockdown, I would have said I enjoyed organising things. I have to really force myself to do things and leaving the house to attend anything always takes 10 minutes longer than it should as I potter around finding things to clean or put away! I don't really understand it to be honest as I do want to leave the house!

I hated every second of lockdown

Feel like I have totally gone back to my old life,but even more so

I now take every opportunity I can to go out and do things

Also the opposite way for me. During the worst of lockdown here in Australia I lived outside a small rural town. It was an extremely isolated way of life, especially before I got my license - I was having lessons then - and lockdown hardly affected it at all. The main effect was one of my lessons was a toilet paper hunt (instructor knew a shop that still had some).

I moved interstate to a large regional city at the end of 2020 and that's where the difference came in. Still lockdowns, but it just meant not eating in the community dining room and meals being delivered (suits me) and only going on essential trips, which was easy as all the shops I needed were within 5km anyway. It was nice having such empty roads.

Since then I have a small social life, something I hadn't had at all in the previous place, a support network for my mother (I'm her carer) and the opportunity to go out. All post Covid and all much better. So not wholly related to Covid, but much better than it was before.

I was isolated for over 4 months as very vulnerable during Covid. I was sole parent of two very different SEN children - both highly demanding and my job never stopped - we went straight to online and it was exhausting. I didn’t see anyone for over 4 months and everyone was posting about family zoom sessions. Mine is all estranged and not great for support. My kids were beyond hard work. Both are being assessed but one struggled socially before and it’s worse than ever. There is no help available - we waited for 18 months for counselling, they got a counsellor for 6 sessions which cost me a fortune but it had no help impact and was very tick box. Lockdown showed me how few friends I had. Up until then I thought I had lots.

I think it's a combination of things - lockdown, Brexit, CofL within a corrupt/incompetent/self serving government. Many are struggling. I physically don't have my life anymore which is my struggle - heart is willing, body isn't - long covid limbo is a fucker of a place to be and I treasure the moments when I can go and do a fraction of what I could before.
A PP mentioned seeing less of the good in people. I feel as though many peoples' lockdown efforts and sacrifices were pissed on by current covid policy which is disabling more and more people. I'd rather my taxes went towards better infection control and supported isolation when positive, than subsidising the fallout of current policy which far exceeds that.

@BigButtons

I think you sound quite traumatised 💐

You were working throughout the pandemic period, as a key worker so had particular stresses in that regard. You have experienced bereavement (I'm very sorry about your mum). It sounds like the combination of these challenges has really made it difficult for you to thrive, even as everything opened up.

I'd suggest talking to your GP as ADs might help & considering counselling?

On your wider question, broadly lockdown taught me how important my mundane activities & interactions were.

I hated lockdown. I sometimes recall it with a shudder, as if it never really happened. I was a single parent of 3, no support & felt utterly isolated. Thank goodness for work. I look back now & wonder why I didn't do 'more' eg all that quality family time people spoke of, or taking on house tasks etc. instead I seemed paralysed, enough motivation for work but not much else.

I was shocked to realise how much external factors influenced my motivation - like exercise - I always exercised, daily, but without my classes / gym / friends to meet for a run, I was apathetic. Once online equivalents that I could book / pay for started, I was back to being motivated.

I now don't take for granted the micro-interactions - buying a coffee, a chat with someone on the bus etc - as I missed these hugely.

I did realise how little proper support I had, not just during lockdown, but always & it just became more apparent then, in terms of family or friends, and that has required a lot of soul-searching since.

I work a combination of on-site / wfh now and I'm so glad of this option, and it's massively transformed my work & family life.

I think we all under value those "casual" interactions - the pint after work or lunch time sandwich with a group of colleagues, chat with people at the bus stop, friends of friends of you may only see at birthday dro
inks etc..

You wouldn't go out of your way to seek out these interactions so they often fell by the wayside during covid and I think a lot of us have struggled to restart them - to the detriment of our overall well being.

I have long Covid and have been unwell since March 2020. I’m not sure my life will ever be the same again. It’s not all bad though - slowing down has made me appreciate different things and I’m now much more into gardening and crafts than travel and pubs!

Yea to this! I always feel so much better when I get out and about but I can’t be bothered most of the time.

Socialising is a muscle we need to exercise. The less we do it the less we feel like doing it.

I read somewhere that going in to the office now is like going to the gym, difficult to do but you are always glad you did when you do do it.

Lockdown really messed with my mental health but I'm trying to be grateful for the good things that have returned to my life in the last few years. My world's definitely smaller than it was before but I've kept a good group of friends from before.

That comment about casual interactions really resonated with me. I had all sorts of people, different ages and places that I'd chat to every few weeks or so. It made for a richer life and I don't feel like I'll get that back.

I think I'm more rebellious in some ways. Before I'd have been the sort of person to follow orders because they're "for my own good" and I don't have that level of trust now.

I never liked busy places, having to talk to strangers before lockdown. I still don't like it but I have found it's harder to make myself do it. I find busy places much more stressful and overwhelming. I appreciate small talk with colleagues and acquaintances more. But strangers put me on edge and I feel afraid that someone will kick off. During the lockdowns I had 2 under 4 and was on the receiving end of a lot of negative interactions when taking them out for walks. People acted as if DC were covid carriers and jumped away from them. Taking them around the nature reserve down the road was the only place we could go. But it was packed and it felt like people wanted me to put them on reins like a dog. Once lockdowns ended we never went there for a long time, it was too traumatic for me.

I am so lazy now. WFH used to mean I'd go walks at lunch or in the morning. Now it means I watch TV on my breaks.

I have started the gym though. I feel office days are an absolute effort and have to start talking myself into them a few days beforehand, which I know is ridiculous! It's just like there's no motivation.

On the other hand, I have put off having kids for a few more years, as selfishly I'd like to go places and do things. Most of my annual leave is spent going somewhere locally, doing a hobby, seeing a new place. I have a real urge to explore and try new things since being locked down!

So more motivation for leisure and things I enjoy and none for anything that asks much of me 😳

Yeah... I used to have a really active social life and would be going to gigs or festivals every weekend. I think WFH has really affected me, it's like I struggle to even leave the flat sometimes because my life is just sleep, walk two steps to my desk then straight to the sofa to watch tv when the work day is over. It's hard to shift the mentality! My husband now calls me Howard Hughs (only semi joking...)

My pre-covid life just does not exist anymore.
I'd been a SAHM for 18 years, part time WFH, school runs, extra curricular runs, running round after 2 DCs while DH commuted to London so out of the house 7-7 during the week.
Now I have 2 DCs at uni and a DH WFH fulltime. I have barely had the house to myself for 2.5 years. I have to restrict what I do at home in case I interrupt a zoom meeting or make too much noise. I have lost my daily routine, my independence and my purpose in life. DH has no friends or hobbies so rarely leaves the house. Most of my friends were DC/school related and have lost most of those.
I hate my life right now.

In your shoes I would get a full time job. Preferably one that is not WFH.

Yep.

I had 2 severe reactions to the vaccine. Not linked initially in the first instance. Just getting better from first one and caught Covid. Starting to improve after 2nd severe reaction and caught Covid. Now have long Covid.

lve been unwell for 2 years. Lost all my friends as can’t really leave the house. Got Pip and a blue badge. Life’s a blast.🫤

I don’t feel anywhere near as adventurous as I used to be or as confident trying new things on my own. Covid itself was never likely to be a risk for me or my family and I resent what it took away, especially from my children. Very few people avoided getting Covid completely in the end anyway so it feels like a huge amount was taken away for very little gain. I’m a key worker so felt lucky to have a reason to leave the house most days otherwise I think I’d have lost my mind to a point that would be much harder to recover from.

Actually enjoyed the first lockdown, the weather was beautiful. Although it was tempered with the worry of a CV husband, who went out to work everyday.
But the following lockdown and ever since, I've felt flat, no urge to do anything. The weather has been shit this summer and I really felt I needed some sun.
Nothing has gone back to normal, it seems to be such a stress getting anything done if you have to deal with organisations. Everywhere is short staffed, can't get a GP's sppointment, so little dealing with people face 2 face - I struggle with talking in the phone.
People seem to be so much more arsey and entitled. I worry where society is heading.

I feel the same, but I have also had several big life events happen in the same time so I’m not sure what brought it on! I wish I could go back to my 2020 self 😢

The worst thing for me has been wfh, I seriously hate it and it’s annoying that it seems to be the only choice now.

I’ve just got help for anxiety and low mood so hopefully the combo of drugs/therapy will help soon. I know I have to make some big life changes though which will take time!

That’s awful. I am so sorry that happened to you.