Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Depressed I can't buy a family home

20 replies

Playgrind · 28/08/2023 12:32

We have kids, middle class jobs but pay too much rent to save a big deposit. Had hoped to buy with 5% deposit or shared ownership.

Now with rates being crazy we can't afford mortgage on a 3 bed here. I had my hopes pinned on new SO properties being built, they were released a few days ago and now all reserved so have missed the boat there. I read that government backed 95% mortgage scheme will end this year, so feeling like we are screwed! DH wants to leave the country but we've (had to) move a lot and I crave stability. Any words of comfort or commiseration?

OP posts:
JogginAintGinnaHappen · 28/08/2023 12:53

Nothing wrong with renting millions of people are in the same situation.

BCBird · 28/08/2023 12:57

I agree re renting. The thing is there are some people paying more in rent than they would for a mortgage though. If you are at the mercy of a private landlord I iunderstand your concern, but if in social housing then are there caps on increases? Could u move to a cheaper part of the country?

BCBird · 28/08/2023 12:58

If u had a mortgage now, u could be looking at hundreds of pounds increase😫

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
lavender2023 · 28/08/2023 13:00

My DH would prefer to rent rather than own. He is often saying how we would be better off if we rented. Based on what we bought (2 bed flat in London), I actually can't disagree as owning has been £200-300 more over month than renting the same flat. Nothing to do with lease or anything like that as the residents own the freehold and service charges are reasonable/stable. More to do with the fact that actually a lot of properties are low yield in terms of rental income and if you lack a 20% deposit like we did (we had 15% deposit), the cost of servicing such debt is expensive and will become more expensive.

But the reality is that the system in the UK is set up for homeowners but overall we are making ourselves poorer through home ownership but at the same time not much choice.

Beezknees · 28/08/2023 13:03

I rent a 2 bedroom flat with no garden for me and DS, have done for 15 years. He's grown up here. It's all I could afford, I could never think to buy a house as a single parent on a low salary. Plus I'd be mad to give it up as it's housing association and a lifetime tenancy.

It's not all bad. There's a lot to be said for not having to pay for things like new boilers, windows, etc. My satellite dish was damaged in the storms not long ago and it was replaced at no cost to me.

DeedlessIndeed · 28/08/2023 13:03

Everyone I know who has been able to buy after having kids have either:

  • moved temporarily back in with family to save
  • moved temporarily to a very cheap rental (ie kids share bedroom, mum and dad in living room) so that they can save.
  • moved to cheaper part of country
  • buy a small starter home and build equity (whilst being overcrowded) before moving up to family home.
  • both parents get additional work

No easy way, I feel so sorry for people who couldn't get on the housing ladder before having children, it becomes such a trap.

lavender2023 · 28/08/2023 13:03

BCBird · 28/08/2023 12:57

I agree re renting. The thing is there are some people paying more in rent than they would for a mortgage though. If you are at the mercy of a private landlord I iunderstand your concern, but if in social housing then are there caps on increases? Could u move to a cheaper part of the country?

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-66568528.amp

It's now cheaper in many parts of the country. For me even with 2% interest rate, it was more expensive to own as I only had a 15% deposit and my area (like many London neighbourhoods) is low yield.

Person inside using laptop while sitting on floor with cardboard boxes in living room after moving house

Renting now cheaper than first-time mortgages, says Zoopla

It is less expensive to rent than buy for the first time since 2010, but there are wide regional variations.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-66568528.amp

MariaVT65 · 28/08/2023 13:07

I really feel for you OP. I have mainly had bad experiences with private landlords (not so much to do with rent, but general upkeep of the properties), so this is why I wanted to own before I had kids.

Could you consider moving to a slightly cheaper area? I know it’s a big ask. My DH and I couldn’t afford to buy near our places of work so we had to move further out and have a bit of a commute x

Tisfortired · 28/08/2023 13:23

We’re in the same position OP. Paying high rent in a commuter town in the North. I fell pregnant with my first DS in my final year of university which although I obviously wouldn’t change him really put us on the back foot in terms of career progression.

We both now have average jobs (combined income almost £60k) but rent, car, kids life etc means there is nothing left at the end of the month. We don’t have any family we can temporarily move in with either. We are currently discussing getting rid of the car for a couple of years and ploughing all that money into saving for a deposit (repayments, insurance, upkeep, petrol etc is around £300 a month) but that would significantly impact our quality of life.

I loathe our house and the landlord but we’re completely trapped here. It’s a horrible feeling.

cleowasmycat · 28/08/2023 13:25

I pay £1200 in rent every month without bills but ALL banks say I can't afford a mortgage. Insane

Defiantlynot41 · 28/08/2023 13:32

@lavender2023 but you need to amortise the cost over the lifetime of your ownership to work out the true cost.

Ignoring inflation and interest rate changes for the moment just to make the maths simple, even if your mortgage is higher than rent, you are still only paying it for the lifetime of the mortgage, once your mortgage is paid off you will have years of "free" living (subject to normal bills of course) whereas rent goes on forever, even when you retire and your income drops.

And a valuable asset to downsize or sell.

2

lavender2023 · 28/08/2023 15:14

Defiantlynot41 · 28/08/2023 13:32

@lavender2023 but you need to amortise the cost over the lifetime of your ownership to work out the true cost.

Ignoring inflation and interest rate changes for the moment just to make the maths simple, even if your mortgage is higher than rent, you are still only paying it for the lifetime of the mortgage, once your mortgage is paid off you will have years of "free" living (subject to normal bills of course) whereas rent goes on forever, even when you retire and your income drops.

And a valuable asset to downsize or sell.

2

Esp when you amortize it, the teaser rate of 2% no longer applies. It could be 10% or even 12% in future.

And it's not an asset, it's a liability. You physically cannot make money unless you downsize and even then who knows what the market would be like in 30/40 years. It's impossible to know. This form of asset based welfare that we subscribe to is making us poorer. Yet this is the system so as an individual I cannot opt out of it. DH would like to rent (securely), I would like social housing (singapore style!) Or to live in a cooperative (danish style) but unfortunately what we want doesn't exist here and this makes us poor. But every country has pros and cons so I guess we need to make the best of what we do have- try to spend as little on shelter as possible but in the best area so at least we are benefitting from spending so much money.

What I do is I write off my residential home as a liability. It is just shelter for me, secure for the 5 year fixed term I sign up for with regular shocks and harder to repossess than a rental. We shouldn't fetishize it, it's very detrimental to society.

lavender2023 · 28/08/2023 15:20

Defiantlynot41 · 28/08/2023 13:32

@lavender2023 but you need to amortise the cost over the lifetime of your ownership to work out the true cost.

Ignoring inflation and interest rate changes for the moment just to make the maths simple, even if your mortgage is higher than rent, you are still only paying it for the lifetime of the mortgage, once your mortgage is paid off you will have years of "free" living (subject to normal bills of course) whereas rent goes on forever, even when you retire and your income drops.

And a valuable asset to downsize or sell.

2

Mortgage on paper is lower than rent. But when I factor in my constant overpayments (to ensure I get 60% LTV when I remortgage next year), it is extremely expensive. House values would also fall so that makes overpaying more importantly to stay on top of the ltv.

Also opportunity cost of tying it up in capital.

crunchymama · 28/08/2023 15:26

cleowasmycat · 28/08/2023 13:25

I pay £1200 in rent every month without bills but ALL banks say I can't afford a mortgage. Insane

We are similar, but our rent is £1800! We have a nice deposit too.

NopeNopeNoper · 28/08/2023 15:36

@lavender2023 how can you guarantee 60% LTV when you don’t know what your house value will be judged as next year?

Fixesplease · 28/08/2023 15:42

We relocated. Still can't buy for another year or two and I am seriously hoping things settle down shortly!
I'm in a 2 bed semi in a beautiful little village for £450 a month.( Housing Association) move North if your job can be relocated!

Although if I'm honest, I'm exceptionally greatful we rent at the moment as there is no way would could take the hits with the interest rates.
Soon.. we'll keep plodding away and thank our lucky stars we aren't paying some of the rents PP are!

lavender2023 · 28/08/2023 15:51

NopeNopeNoper · 28/08/2023 15:36

@lavender2023 how can you guarantee 60% LTV when you don’t know what your house value will be judged as next year?

We can only try based on current values. Better than not trying I suppose..if we don't make it, at least we have less debt. Can agree a deal in 4 months time so that not much more time?

MintJulia · 28/08/2023 15:57

Less expensive area? Or buy somewhere scruffy and in need of renovation, which you do yourself?

I bought in a less expensive area and desperately in need of renovation. But it was a start and I was able to move up after a few years. Might be worth looking...

FlyingSoap · 28/08/2023 16:15

100% agree OP!!! We’re the same. Early/mid twenties and no kids yet, but planning to try very soon :-)

I wanted to buy a house before starting a family but if we bought the same size house as the one we rent, it would be an extra £700 a month at least… and we rent a very small two up two down house! Our rent is cheap and fixed that way (HA). We could really do with that £700 in times of reduced income through maternity leave and the likes, and since we only have 5% deposit we could end up in negative equity and owing the bank thousands more than the mortgage we have taken out if prices fall as they inevitably will. Feels too much of a gamble to buy given these circumstances.

I’m disappointed about it but it is what it is! Times are gonna change, I really don’t know how anyone is going to get on the ladder never mind afford their family home.

irie · 28/08/2023 16:24

Keep on at the shared ownership if that's what you want, our only option 6 years ago was help to buy but all the plots on our estate had been taken, I rang the sales office weekly to check in and when one fell through (someone pulled out) they called me and we got the house! We are in London so did 60/40 help to buy and after 5 years managed to remortgage to buy out the government share 🙏🏻

I'm not sure shared ownership is a good option though I've had friends who've struggled to get out of it / staircase to buy more % of the home but just an idea for you xx

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread