This has been brewing for 10 years but today really triggered my, and I know this is unkind, and I am sorry.
MIL has always been glass half empty, always a victim, always making out FIL and work to bully her and take advantage of her, grumbling, always expecting the worst - very victim attitude for 20 years I have known her. Got context, she has always been financially independent, strong minded and outspoken, so these two side of her character are hard to reconcile.
In the last 10 years, her moaning has become significantly worse and there was no obvious trigger. She has started talking and crying to strangers and anyone introduced to her, she has started crying multiple time during any time we spent together. She has started to do these windy rants where one bad thing leads to another. I have minimised my contact with her as she has become unbearable. Then FIL has passed away and two years later her monologue of doom and always wet eyes are her whole personality.
Due to family event over 2 days I have been her permanent companion, and tried to distract her with every kind of conversation yet she has turned every question and theme about something that is hard for her. To the point that she has listed the worst things about her sons upcoming honeymoon and how she worries about it, crying about it of course. She has completed sucked the life out of me. I cannot work out if she cries because it gets her non-stop attention or because she is mentally ill. Her sons just shrug it off, saying she has always been like this. At this point, I need to protect my own sanity. She is almost 80, I get that it’s lonely and hard, but she was never any different and she has never tried to influence any of the causes for complaint.
If you are still reading, please shared any wisdom on how to cope with her without loosing my marbles.