Eternally restless - how do you relax?

[Feebleexcuses]

I am always restless and am generally just a very busy person (I suspect that I have ADHD and have really struggled at times). However, today I am tired and I just want to relax but I can't. It's as if I don't know how. In my head I want to sit and watch a film but unless it is one I have seen before, I don't seem to be able to do it. It's almost as if the unknown is too much of a challenge. My brain feels like it's constantly active and won't switch off but I don't have the capacity to do anything mentally challenging (couldn't read a book atm for instance).

I've already been for a walk, done the washing and ironing, cleaned the house and undercoated a door.

If you're like me, how do you switch off?

I am absolutely no help to you as I tend to spiral into doom-scrolling and wandering the kitchen opening and closing cupboards.

Outside helps but I see you already tried that.

Otherwise, I keep a list on my phone of individual episodes / documentaries that people have recommended to me so if I find myself with time on my hands, I sit down with one of those on.

Placemarking to try and pick up other people's ideas.

I don't have ADHD and I don't find it distressing that I'm active all the time necessarily so am a bit different to you but I almost never sit down and am always busy.

I relax most after an intense workout or if I have a bath. I've also recently discovered yoga and after 42yrs of not being able to switch off my brain to do yoga, I've suddenly found a switch somewhere.

This is me too. After a mad few months, I have a couple of days to myself at home. I've been really looking forward to it. Now they're here I can't relax and sit still.

I think I've realised i'm so used to being flat out busy and surrounded by people, I'm not great in my own company.

Probable ADHD here too. If I'm tired I generally watch something undemanding on TV but pair it with an activity like knitting or playing a game on my phone because I actually concentrate better on the programme if I'm doing something else at the same time (obviously not reading or anything like that).

I've never been able to 'just' watch TV; even if it's something I really want to watch, I'm too restless to just concentrate on the programme.

I'm exactly the same and I'm diagnosed with adhd. Hyperactivity is often (not always) internal in women with adhd, so it's easily missed

Medication and daily exercise help me a lot.

I cant watch a movie or TV without a crochet or knitting project.

I normally scroll until I fall asleep, if I try to find a film when I am feeling restless the only thing I manage is to spend 2 hours zapping without finding anything to watch.

I find that an acupressure mat really helps me to unwind. The intense physical sensations draw my attention and help me to focus. I use mine on my bed (the floor is too hard). Sometimes I even use it in bed, if I'm struggling to wind down to sleep.

I almost always do something with my hands while watching TV. Granny square crochet is mindless enough that I don't miss what's going on in the film, yet engaging enough that I don't feel restless. But, as with all handicrafts, it only works once I know it very well. If I'm doing a new project, I have to work on it away from distraction, learn it, and only then can I do it while watching/ listening/ chatting.

This is me, I can’t do just one thing and relaxing is hard work.

But here are some things I can do that count as relaxing

Going running, hiking and listening to podcasts. Indoors, batch cooking/baking/bread making/doing an jigsaw and listening to podcasts.

I can watch TV if I can knit at the same time but I also like to draw, sketch and doodle during a film.

Learning new pieces to play on the piano is one of the only things that keeps my brain and hands busy enough to do only one thing.

Same! Ditto if I'm overtired.

I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 20, I'm nearly 24 now. I always thought I was so different to other people as I'm constantly restless and can never 'switch off' like other people do. I have some good days but mostly bad. Im still learning new ways to cope, but what helped me was finding something i'm really passionate about, which is makeup. I became a qualified makeup artist and it really helps with my overactive mind ! Have you got any hobbies or maybe find something that you're really interested in doing? I also don't feel like walks help me but what does is going to the supermarket for some reason, lol.

Oh my goodness, I'm just like that. Have not been able to switch off and relax over the summer, but nor have I been productive, because I'm exhausted. I have to do something else whilst watching telly and don't really feel I have the attention span to sit and watch a film. I'm ok when out and about, so long walks in the countryside are my favourite way to relax mentally, even if they are physically tiring.

Thank you so much for the replies. It's funny how comforting it is to know you're not the only one. You've also made me realise that it's okay to do 2 things. My DH gets cross as he thinks I can't be paying attention to the TV if I'm on my phone but actually it helps. I think it would be good to find something else like knitting though.

In the end I went outside and played basketball with the kids. About to watch a travel show on TV as something which presents no challenge.

Cross stitch and a podcast or audio book. Something to do with my hands, eyes and ears. It's very soothing! I couldn't listen to a podcast without something else and the cross stitch by itself is not enough stimulation sometimes. But both together, perfect.

My DH doesn't get it either. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard 'If you're going to watch, watch properly'! 😄

This is a skill like any other which takes time and commitment to achieve if you really want it.
Making yourself sit down and actually relax for 20minutes, when it doesn't come naturally to you, isn't realistic. Like a muscle, you have to build it up slowly by practicing some mindfulness.

Set yourself somewhere calm and quiet without distractions each day. And for 2 minutes. Then 5, then 7, then 10 etc get yourself to sit. Set yourself a timer. Relax your muscles. Think about your breathing. Sometimes concentrating on a small feature like a knot in a wood door can help. Just breathe, and think about how your body feels. Every time your mind races, you think about that shopping list you need to write, pull your mind back to your breathing. Dont get annoyed, and don't outstay your timer.
It will take practice, and repetition. But in time you will get to a place where for 10 minutes or longer you can just sit and be.
And then after that you will be able to pop a TV show on, or a resd a book...or more importantly calm a racing adhd mind.

Not much help for today, but a skill to work on for the future. For today, a cup of tea and watch some birds out the window?