How to stop getting self validation from men?

[lookingforlove1237]

As the title says, my self validation relies on dating / sleeping with men / them texting me etc. If they don’t, I feel shit.

I get my validadtion from hobbies. I create things that I am proud of or I push myself to do new things. It releases serotonin and dopamine and you'll feel much happier - and, more importantly, have no regrets.

So sorry you feel that way. I used to try to get validation from men - many of them useless or abusive. they treated me badly and it made me feel worthless. society conditions women from a young age do so, so it's no wonder you feel like that. plus you have people constantly telling you you need to find a man etc. it's bullshit. and many men DO treat women like shit, too. you can get validation from good work, making a good wage, being good at your job, taking care of yourself, taking care of friends, hobbies, interests etc

You are enough. You don't need validation from anyone and nobody can truly provide it for you. The only way out of this is to work on what goes on in your own head and heart. Work on your self esteem. Loads of information on how to do that on the internet, books etc.

Used to be me. Only way of escaping the cycle was finding another thing to get the self esteem from.

At one point it was being the skinniest in the room that gave me the same feeling.

I'm healthier now and for a long while it's been that I'm smashing it at work. I'm currently pregnant with my first, and I can feel it becoming being a good mother.

Find a new source of pride that fills your consciousness. Try everything and anything until you find it.

It’s not self validation if it comes from anyone else, male or female. What do you want them to validate in you? That you’re attractive, worthwhile…? I’m guessing that it’s not actually all that validating to you do not meeting the need you hope it will.

This kind of thing is usually due to some kind of trauma - have you been treated badly by men in the past?

It's not what anyone else says about you, it's what you say about you that matters.
Women tend to put far too much importance on what men think and do.
The best thing to do is spend some time alone, find things you love doing, look after yourself. Create a lovely way of life for yourself. Enjoy peace of mind. It's so freeing not to need validation from anyone else, it takes a while to get there but you will never look back.

It's easy to say find a hobby/smash work out but what if you already have hobbies/friends/career/house and you've had loads of counselling and read all the self help books but it still doesn't work - asking for a friend 😂