Does the messenger always get shot.

[Pleaseme]

If another parent spoke to you about their child struggling to make friends etc. would you ever be honest and say that they need to change their behaviour. Child in question is nice when getting their own way but has a temper and gets physical very easily. My child has tried to be her friend but has been hurt by her a few times over the years and now is polite but gives her a wide berth.

School is not very communicative so she might not know the extent of the behaviour.

I would prefer to know so I could work with the school on positive integration into the class and with DD on developing self control. However I’m not sure if it would go down well with the Mum.

That's a hard one, is it behaviour you have seen first hand for yourself?

If not, then it's essentially hearsay however well intended and it will likely not go down well.

If you have seen it for yourself, or if your child has actually been on the receiving end, then saying with kindness about what's been happening would be honest- but probably won't go over well.

Criticising a child will never go down well with a parent. Don’t do it.
They can’t be clueless as to how she acts anyway.

If I've spoken to another parent about my child then I would want to know (in a kind way). We all present a different side to others and maybe she genuinely hasn't seen this side to her child.

You could ask her if she would really want to know even if it was bad and see what she says. Be prepared for her to avoid you in future too.

You literally have no idea whether the child has autism or any other condition which influences social behaviour and interactions and even if you did it also literally none of your business to tell a parent how their child needs to change their behaviour.

For all your awareness, it might be that it's your child's interactions and behaviour which influenced this other child's reactions. I can't imagine you'd be terribly receptive to someone telling you how you need to change your child's behaviour.

Yes, pretty much.

Yeah I kind of thought it might be the case. I think I’ll stay out of it. I’d rather know myself, I do have an older child who has SEN (not necessarily the case here) and I found It really hard to work on stuff at home as school didn’t inform of smaller issues.

Well yes, but they approached OP to discuss their child. So depending on what exactly was said, they have opened it up to OP's input. Obviously it may have been phrased such that they only wanted some sympathy, but if they've asked for OP's thoughts then that's very different to OP just walking up to someone and telling them to change how their child behaves.