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Original poster

Do you regift things you own?

37 replies

heartbroken22 · 27/08/2023 11:05

I've just realised a lot of the 'gifts' I've been given for 3rd baby is what people have not used for their own kids and have probably stored away in their cupboards. Clothes do deteriorate over time in storage and change colour too or have 'that smell'. Even new clothes. Sorry just feel like ranting because 3 people have done it and it's made me feel like my baby isn't worth the same as my other 2 kids. But it's okay I'll be spoiling her. I've had to declutter these gifts and given them to the charity shop hoping someone could appreciate them more instead of me associating them with my negativity. I wouldn't gift leftover clothes that belonged to my daughter to someone that had been in storage for some time. I'd just say hey these clothes are brand new but my child didn't wear them/outgrew that size do you want them? I guess it is 'regifting' but with a different etiquette.

OP posts:

Chantholtmouse · 27/08/2023 11:12

Life is expensive. I would rather people do stuff like this. Life is far too materialistic these days.

Dotcheck · 27/08/2023 11:17

Can you genuinely not use them, or are you getting rid because they have been regifted?
Please don’t think people ‘value’ your 3rd child less than your others- most people wouldn’t give presents at all for a 3rd based on the assumption you would have everything

Mary46 · 27/08/2023 12:38

I dont do it myself op. My sister re gifts for babies if a boy she has all boys. Guess it saves her money! Not a fan of that myself as feel u just pass on tat

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ComtesseDeSpair · 27/08/2023 12:52

I’m sure I’ll be flamed but whilst I’m sure all your DC are equally special to you as a parent, I do see third onwards babies as old hat. You’ll have hand me downs from the siblings, you’ll know that you actually need much less baby junk than when you had your first and bought practically the entire stock of the John Lewis baby department, your friends naturally aren’t as excited for you as when you were becoming a parent with your first. Gifts are really just going through the motions at this point and many people are going to go the practical route, which includes regifting something new and unused that they have already, knowing that babies tend to ruin clothes after a poonami anyway.

FredaFox · 27/08/2023 13:17

You sound quite entitled tbh
Maybe people can't afford to gift you again but they have new and unused items that they can give you

I didn't think people had kids for gifts

Chewbecca · 27/08/2023 13:19

Why does she need 'spoiling' with clothes?

I think re-gifting like this is quite sensible tbh.

dontgobaconmyheart · 27/08/2023 13:24

The baby has no idea either way, and doesn't need 'spoiling' to compensate. No i don't routinely regift items, and wouldn't overly want to (with the exception of it being brand new and also something the reciepient would definitely want). There's no point taking it personally though. As you say if you don't want what you've been given you can pass it on, it's really not a big deal and at least you were thought of.

It is what it is OP. Not everyone has the money to spare and as someone who is in their mid thirties, if I bought a gift for every baby in my orbit for every occasion I would genuinely be spending a fortune. More than I do on my own family or myself. It isn't worth it and is silly really, people don't need gifts and babies certainly don't. A card is more than fine.

Britneyfan · 27/08/2023 13:30

This isn’t about the perceived value of your third child, we are in a cost of living crisis after a pandemic and lots of people are under extreme financial pressure right now. And as other people have said a third baby often doesn’t get the same excited gifts as a first, it’s just how life is, though I’d be upset if very close friends and family hadn’t bothered to think of you/the new baby at all - but this isn’t what’s happened here.

Plus to be honest if I had a nice baby outfit put away that I’d thought was lovely enough to buy for my own child and had never been used then even in normal times I would absolutely think it fine to give as a gift to someone unless visibly motheaten or whatever. It doesn’t make sense to me to buy something new when you have something with tags on in your cupboard. I think you’re taking this too personally.

Cabbagey · 27/08/2023 13:39

If things are new-with-tags and are an appropriate gift, then I would have no problem at all with receiving them. I would much rather things got re-gifted to people who can make use of them rather than go to waste.

UsingChangeofName · 27/08/2023 14:17

Yes, I've always kept things I didn't want (were given to me) or need, or were duplicates, and re-gifted things. It makes sense financially, environmentally, and time wise to keep a box of unused things so you have something to hand when you need it without needing to go shopping. Sometimes I buy things specifically to add to my 'present box' if I see something really nice at a good price, or on offer etc.
It's got nothing to do with if your child is a pfb or the 8th child you've had.

pimplebum · 27/08/2023 19:37

I buy gifts from charity shops so thank you for donating nice gifts

Thank god your not my friend you sound very precious expecting fancy gifts for a third baby , I got next to nothing for my second and made hardly any fuss over my friends / family's second babies I was not aware this was an expectation

pimplebum · 27/08/2023 19:40

I'm bearly paying my bills

Having a third child suggests you are very wealthy and not in need of lots of new expensive stuff

FoodFann · 27/08/2023 19:45

No I don’t do that. And I don’t appreciate it being done to me. But I’ve long thought, for most people, gift giving is for the pleasure of the gifter not the giftee.

The best one was my MIL: can I get you XYZ, it’s on special offer? 🤣🙄 (she’s a gazzillionnaire and I’d made a bloody list!)

verysmellyjelly · 27/08/2023 19:52

There is nothing wrong with regifting. You sound a bit entitled tbh.

BlueKaftan · 27/08/2023 19:54

Regifting is shit and lazy.

verysmellyjelly · 27/08/2023 19:58

@BlueKaftan climate crisis exists

Starseeking · 27/08/2023 20:07

If I've been given a gift that I've not made use of for whatever reason, and it's still in its box/still got the tags on, and was appropriate to give away to a particular person, I absolutely would.

The decision would have nothing to do with the order of the gift receivers DC.

I don't tend to give away worn/old things of my DC unless specifically discussing with someone (e.g. I gave a lot of stuff to my DSis for her first because we were talking about it when she was pregnant, and I'd had 2 DC by that point).

3rdtimemumma · 27/08/2023 20:11

I'm expecting my 3rd and frankly am slightly embarrassed people might consider spending money on us (again!). I'd love to have things re-gifted. It's better for the environment and saves the guilt factor from my point of view. Please be grateful. To me, it seems sensible.

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · 27/08/2023 20:20

I would regift something that had been bought for me that was new and I wouldn't use myself, yes. I wouldn't gift anything that had been used .

I can see that people may have unworn baby clothes if their baby was smaller or larger than the average newborn - eg I had summer sets which were unworn because by the time DC were in this size it was winter . I sold all mine though.

McLondoner · 27/08/2023 20:31

heartbroken22 · 27/08/2023 11:05

Yes and some gifts go straight into our regifting cupboard when we receive them. All baths sets...
We are well off but there's no need to waste money just because of some principal.

PurpleBananaSmoothie · 27/08/2023 20:35

It doesn’t bother me in theory but I’d like people to still put a bit of thought into the regifting e.g. baby is born in winter and will likely be in summer clothes for 3-6m, 6-9m. If they don’t have summer clothing in that size, then don’t just chuck any sized summer clothing their way. It just adds to the burden for them to get rid of stuff.

My BIL did this (my BIL is selfish and there is history so this is irritating me more than if it were someone else), he sent my winter born DD his unused clothes from his summer born DS. They were size 9-12m and completely the wrong size for her, so didn’t get worn. It’s just lazy.

Changingplace · 27/08/2023 20:44

You sound horribly materialistic, people have been kind enough to send a gift, if the clothes are usable then I’d have washed them and used them.

You should be grateful people went to the trouble of sending a gift at all, as your kids grow up I’d hope you would teach them better manners than you have, but I doubt you will.

alwaysmovingforwards · 27/08/2023 21:18

FredaFox · 27/08/2023 13:17

You sound quite entitled tbh
Maybe people can't afford to gift you again but they have new and unused items that they can give you

I didn't think people had kids for gifts

That's how I read it as well.
Not pleasant.

Original poster

heartbroken22 · 27/08/2023 23:41

@PurpleBananaSmoothie yeah I've been given a thick woolly dress for summer. Thought my friend would put 2 and 2 together since her child was born the same month a year ago. It is lazy and made it seem like she didn't care. It just stresses me out because I don't have anyone to give it to. Don't have time to olio it or hand it in at the charity shop.

OP posts:

Original poster

heartbroken22 · 27/08/2023 23:43

@Changingplace hope you teach your kids to have a brain before commenting. Good luck making your kids wear a thick woolly dress in the summer.

OP posts:

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