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Original poster

Did I over react? (tw suicide)

21 replies

Fabellini · 27/08/2023 00:48

I follow a person on Instagram - not famous, but has several thousand followers. I came across them by accident sort of, they worked with someone I already followed, and was included in their videos, I liked them, thought they were funny, so followed them too.
We’ve exchanged a handful of messages over a couple of years, nothing remotely personal.
They left the job they were in when I originally followed them through their workmate, and have since posted very openly about their mental health challenges, time spent in hospital, number of days sober etc.
Tonight they posted on Instagram that they were feeling suicidal, couldn’t stop crying, and were done. They put up their mobile number and said call me, then posted another story saying they were done.
I messaged asking if they could get in touch with their sponsor, and were they ok, which they read but didn’t reply to - not sure that I really expected them to….but anyway, I’m not sure if I over reacted, or was a bit daft, but I rang 999 and told the Police.
Im not local to them at all, so they took all the details I could give them, which wasn’t much to be honest, and they were going to get in touch with their local force.
They’ve deleted those Instagram stories now, so I don’t know if anyone else saw them - I’m hoping a real life friend, someone who could actually be useful might be there right now…but I don’t suppose I’ll ever find out, and I’m sat here wondering if I crossed a line, or if I was just stupid. I didn’t feel I could just leave it though. Was I wrong?

OP posts:
OilOfRoses · 27/08/2023 00:52

You did the right thing 100%. I know of a situation where someone didn't react to this sort of thing and the person took their own life that night. Better to react than not. Good on you for taking action.

Original poster
Fabellini · 27/08/2023 01:11

@OilOfRoses thank you! I just wasn’t sure if I was interfering or poking my nose in, but I couldn’t do nothing. I doubt I’ll ever find out if he’s ok or not, and why should I really - it’s none of my business, but I’d feel so guilty if a friend or relation posted tomorrow that he’d died and I hadn’t made any attempt to get him help.

OP posts:
Enko · 27/08/2023 01:13

You did the right thing.

rubydoobydoo · 27/08/2023 01:15

You absolutely did the right thing - they were clearly in distress and you did as much as you could to get help to them. Hope they're OK.

elliejjtiny · 27/08/2023 01:16

You did the right thing. My son told his friend that he was suicidal, who told her mum, who told the school. I can never thank them enough.

wineschmine · 27/08/2023 01:21

You did the right thing.

Also, with several thousand followers, you won't have been the only one that saw those posts, so hopefully they are getting support now.

Northernsouloldies · 27/08/2023 01:21

I'm 99,9% sure this has been posted before a little while back. It's almost word for word identical.

Original poster
Fabellini · 27/08/2023 01:30

@Northernsouloldies Not by me it hasn’t - I’m glad to say I’ve never come across this sort of situation before, ever.

OP posts:
Northernsouloldies · 27/08/2023 01:38

Fair enough if your post was genuine. Not a nice experience for you in the slightest. Hopefully everything turns OK for the person.

furyshshdh · 27/08/2023 01:39

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Original poster
Fabellini · 27/08/2023 01:48

@furyshshdh I know I couldn’t do anything apart from report it, and the Police did seem to take me seriously, said they were going to pass to his local force who would do a welfare check. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that someone who actually knows him saw his posts and was able to help properly. I just feel very sad for him - he has clearly become so ill again.

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 27/08/2023 06:04

Definitely the right thing. I got to know someone briefly when, I transported her cats to a rescue to be rehomed. I knew she had some mental health issues, but as i'd only met her twice I didn't feel o could report to the police, when she stopped replying to messages. I found out later that she'd committed suicide. Sadly I suspect she was dead before I got to the rescue.

GLORIAGloriarse · 27/08/2023 07:30

You absolutely did the right thing. What bad has come of it? None. Someone was expressing suicidal intentions and you took what action you could.

HellonHeels · 27/08/2023 07:41

You did right, OP.

As an aside, could people please stop using "commited" suicide as a descriptor. It's not a crime, so isnt committed. 'Died by suicide' is slightly less harsh.

gamerchick · 27/08/2023 07:44

Nah that's what you're supposed to do. Not get directly involved and ask police to do a welfare check.

Although I think that's changing soon, what the police are required to do. Isn't it?

WorriedMillie · 27/08/2023 07:57

I’m safeguarding lead at work and this is what I’d have done in these circs 🌼

furyshshdh · 27/08/2023 12:50

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HellonHeels · 27/08/2023 13:02

Ive been deeply affected by the suicide of someone close to me. Seeing that word intensifies my grief and loss. Im not alone in not wanting to see "committed" and being upset by it.

mushti · 27/08/2023 13:32

You did the right thing. Suicidal people who don’t want an intervention don’t write about it in a public way in the moment.

It is also extremely abusive to you to make you read disturbing messages about suicide in the expectation that you will not take any kind of action.

Original poster
Fabellini · 27/08/2023 15:13

So, an update. He messaged me this morning apologising and saying he was “fine” and just needed to keep going.
Ive had a chat with dp about it (he wasn’t here last night), and I’ve decided to leave it a few days and then quietly unfollow the person. I feel very sorry for them, but it was quite upsetting, and I don’t really want to be put in the same position again. From what they’ve posted in the past, they have friends, a sponsor, and have been in hospital several times so presumably have someone they can reach out to there too.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 27/08/2023 15:33

This happened to me on a different platform. I didn't have the persons number, only their name and where they lived (not an address though). I also dialled 999 and they located him very quickly and he was admitted to hospital. It was absolutely the right thing to do Flowers

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