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Original poster

Can't wait for the school holidays to end - stroppy (almost) 6 yo

38 replies

Clarawade · 26/08/2023 17:26

I'm exhausted. It's been way too long and I feel like we've lost control. She finished school on the 5th July and the first 2 weeks were wonderful, she was happy, polite, easy going.

However, her behaviour over the summer got progressively worse to the point of not listening to us at all, hitting us and being completely defiant about everything. We don't generally keep sweets in the house but someone gave her a bag of sickly sweet stuff a while ago and she found it today and ate everything in front of me whilst I kept telling her one was enough.

She's regressed with her reading as well and does not want to touch a book. Constant moaning, tantrums and harrasing our poor cat.

She's had so much fun, playdates, 2 little holidays and another one next week. DH thinks she's too spoilt.

I've tried being calm, explaining things, I tried shouting, nothing works.

Anyone in the same boat?

OP posts:

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 06:52

Omg I could have written exactly the same about my DD who is going into year 2 but only just turned 6 this summer so they are basically exactly the same age.
Her behaviour has been so bad that I've been worrying that she's starting to show signs of being ND. She's so inflexible and despite our best efforts with lots of calm conversations and discussions if something happens that she doesn't want she can just lose the plot.
I also have a 2 year old who ends up copying her so things just escalate.
Don't get me wrong sometimes things are lovely but overall her behaviour has made this holiday so hard and I'm absolutely on my knees.

Fairyliz · 27/08/2023 06:53

It’s that time of year when people realise teachers need a pay rise.
If you can’t manage one or two ‘little angels’ imagine being responsible for 30!

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 06:54

I did notice that she seemed happier the week I put her in holiday club so boredom could be a factor - I can't wait for school to start!!!

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Behaviour & development Families

Wolfiefan · 27/08/2023 06:55

She can’t be bored with the amount you’re cramming into a day!

alittleadvicepls · 27/08/2023 06:56

Sorry you’re having a rough time OP! Only 2 more weeks to go!!

Sarfar45 · 27/08/2023 07:04

Don’t fill every day with activities. She is probably tired, a bit of tv after a long day sounds fine.
We do 1 or 2 activities a week, you don’t need to fill every day and they look forward to the day out. Let her have a lazy day, where she can do what she wants. Have breakfast in bed watching tv, my son loves a day like this. Only thing he has to do is brush his teeth!

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 07:05

Somaliwildass · 26/08/2023 19:32

Children don't choose to be perfect at school and a pain at home. They use the expectations and boundaries in place. There's no reason a few weeks off school/at home should be any hardship (unless there is some reason they aren't safe with in custody of them).

Absolutely they deserve a good education, but they aren't born to spend their entire childhood in a classroom away from their families. Too many parents rely on schools to bring their children up for them.

Oh COME ON!

You can see from this thread that other families with clear boundaries, expectations and consequences with behaviour are struggling with the same thing. Maybe your kids were just easy?! My youngest is so different to my eldest and frankly much easier to discipline and manage in general. So I don't buy this "your parenting is shit" line.

The whole point of Mumsnet is to share advice. If you don't have anything to add other than abuse for the parent kindly avoid the thread.

Tumbleweed101 · 27/08/2023 07:16

It’s good for them to have lazy days just as it is for us adults. I’m pretty sure many children are lacking unstructured time. Of course they do need some activities in the week but they also need time to just be bored at home, pottering with their toys, exploring the garden or just a gentle walk to the park for an hour. Tired , over stimulated kids are hard work.

At nursery there is a definite difference in the behaviour of our full time children again those who only do 15hrs. That is mainly because of stimulation and tiredness day after day and then busy weekends where parents then want to take them out for activities. Down time is a need, just as it is for adults but children can’t control their day like adults can.

Batatahara · 27/08/2023 07:32

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 06:54

I did notice that she seemed happier the week I put her in holiday club so boredom could be a factor - I can't wait for school to start!!!

For mine, I don't think it's about boredom so much as structure. He loves school and being in a routine with other children. Of course he also enjoys time with us and days out but I am coming to the conclusion that holiday clubs are important to a successful summer holiday for us. We need to use some anyway because we both work but I am thinking of using some more next summer - of the half day football camp sort.

RamblingRosieLee · 27/08/2023 08:05

Op it's very intense over the holidays.
Imagine in the olden days when people had so many more children and your child would be lost in the melly amongst those older and younger.

I would step back a little and drop some rope.

Whitewolf2 · 27/08/2023 08:10

7 weeks is such a long time! I agree some holiday clubs work for us, we all need a bit of a break from each other some days and to mix in different people and activities.
We allow down time with tv, after a day out we’re all tired and need a rest. That’s when behaviour drops here - when they’re tired they get really ratty.

RamblingRosieLee · 27/08/2023 08:14

I also think that you should relax the TV a bit.

How has she ever becomes obsessed if you have always been strick with it?
How long is she allowed when you watch it.

Unfortunately it sounds like it's become a thing.

Next doors child, used to look almost zombie like when our TV was on! They had restrictions where as mine would nts bother.
I don't restrict it and use it as I want.

I think as she's getting older have a re think on it.
TV doesn't have to be cheesy Disney chanel either there are some good series on bbc cbbc and netfkix etc

Somaliwildass · 27/08/2023 15:03

YukoandHiro · 27/08/2023 07:05

Oh COME ON!

The whole point of Mumsnet is to share advice. If you don't have anything to add other than abuse for the parent kindly avoid the thread.

Show quote history

I certainly didn't say anyone's parenting was shit, just that there isn't some magic going on at school that means they'll only comply there. Someone's working really hard with them and entrusting them back to their parents for a few weeks at a time shouldn't undo all of that.

If the school were reporting that a child's reading was regressing, as parents people would be asking what's gone wrong and what's being done about if. Letting it happen (amongst other worsening behaviour) and admitting that it takes too much energy to address is no good. Persisting to manage behaviour has to take priority - would it be good enough for a class teacher to say there are 30 kids pushing the boundaries and I'm too affronted/tired/whatever to be bothered to deal with it?

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